10-25-08...PILLOW FIGHT
We sure didn't have a lot when I was growing up but I guess we just never knew that. I thought I was rich, and I was rich just not in monatary ways. My home was old and let in the cold air. But we had a warmth in love that kept that cold at bay. We had feather beds that my Granny made with her own two hands. We saved the feathers from all the chickens we plucked and cleaned for frying. Boy was it ever great to sink down in that bed and cover up with lots of the quilts that my Grandma made. She also made feather pillows. I still have two of those pillows all sealed up in plastic to keep them safe. I can't help but wonder what will happen to them when I am gone, but that doesn't really matter. Young people in my Family just don't have an appreciation for these things the way I do. What a shame, what happened?
Now getting to these two pillows. They had to be re ticked when I was about 12 yrs. old due to a pillow fight. And of course Brenda and I had the fight. Not a fun pillow fight, but a knock down drag out fight. I mean we were rip-roarin' mad!!
Brenda and I didn't have very many clothes. We had to take care of them because there was no money for more. We knew and accepted that. We often wore each others clothes when we were still the same size. I had a beautiful beaded belt that my Daddy got for me. I was so prowd of that belt. And That belt I would not share. No siree. That was my gift from my Daddy and it was mine. Mama shamed me for it but I wouldn't give an inch. Our parents had taught us to share with each other. They shared, and we were supposed to share. But My Daddy got me that belt and it was special. NOPE, Brenda wasn't a'gonna get my belt. What if she lost it, broke it, lost a bead. NOPE NOPE NOPE! It's mine!!
One day Brenda came running in and said "Clydene I want to wear your belt tomorrow." Smart elec. She knew what the answer to that would be. Well your Mama said I could wear it and I'm gonna'. We were in my room and I figuered she was lying like a dog. Mama didn't say that Brenda, and you know she didn't. Yes she did, go ask her if you don't believe me. No I aint'a'gonna ask her nothin' cause she never said that and even if she did, you still ainta' gettin' it Brenda, Now get out of here.
Brenda just walked on over to where the belt was hanging and reached for it. Well now let me tell you fire jumped outta' my eyes' and ears. I pounced on her back like a cat, got her around the neck and was a'gonna choke the ever lovin' stuffins' outta' her. We both went down to the floor, I got up first and the only thing I could see to use was Grandma's feather pillow. Brenda still had my belt in her hand and she warped me across the arm with it. Well I really came un-glued then and started warping her with the pillow as hard as I could. I snached the belt outta' her hands and slung it over my head. She wadna' gonna' get my belt. Nope! It would be over my dead body. Brenda got the other pillow and we were a' warping like crazy when feathers started flyin'. I mean looked like snow a comin' down. Mama was at the door soon as she heard the comotion and got hold of us both at the same time. Now I wuuldna' known that my Mama was that strong but she lifted us both and slammed us down on the feather bed where we sunk in, face to face, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, spittin' and sputterin' feathers. Let me tell you we got our hides busted red with my belt right then and there while we were a' still sputterin in the feather bed. Mamma hauled us back up outta the bed and her face was redder'n' our butts were. She was steamin' mad. Of course with GOOD reason, don't ya know?!
My Gosh, that was the worst mess we ever had to clean up. There hadn't better be one little pin feather in this room. I want them all picked up and put in a sack, and you two are gonna' put them in new ticks before the sun sets tonight. WOOOO, Mama was mad. It wasn't easy but we fixed those pillows and Mama couldn't find nary' a feather left over. Believe me she tried.
Now, Mama said she didn't tell Brenda she could use my belt, but I already knew that. Still I looked at Brenda's neck where you could see my claw marks and she was looking at the welp on my arm from her warping me with my belt, and we both started cryin' and huggin' and sayin I'm sorry. I guess you're'a thinkin' I let her wear my belt aint ya'. Well I sure nuff didn't right then and there but the next time she asked real polite like I let the little nut wear it. And guess what, She never asked to wear it again. HMMMMM! Now whata you make of that. Don't know but I got my suspisions. Yep!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
OH MY GOSH NO!!!
10-21-08...OH MY GOSH NO!!!
We had basketball in our school. No football or anything else. We had activities at gym period when basketball was out of season but we mostly practiced basketball year around. When we had games away from home we went on the school bus. In juinor high (in the same building as Senior high) we had white suits with red letters. They were old and many others had used them over the years. I loved my uniform. Button up long tailed top, bloomer like bottoms. The shoes were like tennis shoes but had high tops and we bought them ourselves. Anyway I took my suit home after a game and Mama washed and ironed it up real nice for me. She also kept it mended when needed. Brenda and I would walk up to the bus stop just like we did when we were going to school and wait on the bus. Then we walked back down the lane home when we got back.
One evening we were getting things ready to go on a ball trip. Mama had not felt well so I had ironed my suit and hung it up on a hanger. I noticed that both buttons were loose and in need of fixing but I just ignored it. I could only find one safety pen so I told Brenda to bring one for me. OK she said I'll See you later. Some of the players had overnight bags to carry their socks and stuff in but we didn't have one so we used paper sacks.
I got all my things ready, hung my uniform over my back and hollered at Brenda to come on. Always had to do that. I don't remember where we went that night but it was way up yonder in the mountain. The school used a pot bellied stove and heated with coal. This was their fist time lighting it for the season.
When we got there and went to our dressing room I said, Brenda where is my safety pin. What safety pin? She answered. Now Brenda you know durn well what safety pin. You said you would bring me one. Well I sure don't remember that Clydene. We argued a bit more and asked but no one else had a safety pin either so I decided that one would hold my britches on for tonight.
We were in the middle of the first quarter and we were ahead which was an uncommon thing for us. Most of the other teams around were big ol' girls. (Daddy called em' corn fed) We were a'struttin' around there real prowd of ourselves. Now if you don't know already I'm here to tell you, those pot bellied coal stoves get red hot. I mean that literally, they turn red hot. It was heatin up in there real fast and we were all startin' to complain, even the home team girls. Their coach got up and was walking toward the stove I guess to shut the damper down when we saw what we thought was smoke comin' out toward the top of the stove pipes. Shoot I had the ball and I was about to pass it on to another girl so I wasn't paying much attention. Heck I'd seen stoves smoke before.
Brenda was a forward and I was a guard so we played on opposite ends of the court. Girls didn't play the whole court then. I heard her hollering at me, Clydddeeennneee, watch out. Well now what in the world is wrong with that girl. She knows we aint supposed to talk across court. Shut up Brenda!!! I raised the ball up to pass it to a girl and she wasn't there anymore. Well Good Grief. What tha' heck? When I had my arms in the air to pass the ball I felt the second button come loose. The other side that was pinned sure wasn't'a holdin' my britches up. Nope! They were down to my knees and still goin'. Yep I dropped my drawers right there. They were around my ankles and I bent over to pull em' up when I felt that dad blamed pin sticking me on the backside. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE PIN!!! But it sure nuff' wasn't a safety pin, Nosireee. It was a hornet!!!! Seemed like someone forgot to clean out the stove pipes before the stove was fired up for the first time. A hornet had built a nest in the pipe I guess and when it heated up they came out. Oh my Gosh, Oh my goodness. Come on Clydene lets go. She grabbed me and I started to run but my drawers were down there around my feet and of course I went down draggin' Brenda with me. Clydene get up and come on. Well durn it Brenda wait a minute, I can't go outside with my britches down. Brenda, Bless her heart, drug me across the floor to the dressing room and we got in there. Brenda, this is your fault. No it aint Clydene. Yes it sure is you didn't bring me a pin for my pants. We argued back and forth for a while about who's fault it was but now both pins were gone and we looked around and found out we were in the wrong dressing room. Brenda go get my clothes. I aint goin' out there Clydene and get stung, we'll just havta' wait. It seemed like hours later when we heard someone out in the gym hollerin' our names. Everyone seemed to have come back in and our coach and team mates were lookin' for us. Brenda opened the door a smidgen and peeped out. I had to use both hands to hold my britches up.
I was soooo! embaraced! Brenda finally went and got my clothes and I got dressed and went to the bus. Of course the games were over for that night. Seems no one really got stung very much. Guess those bees were a'tryin' to get out of there too. There were a lot of dead ones on the floor.
Now I guess you know I had figuered out by then that my pants falling down was my fault, not Brenda's. And the hornets weren't either of our faults. YEP. I told Brenda I was sorry and thanked her for helping me get away. YEP! I sure did, about a month or so later cause my Mama made me. HE HE!!!
We had basketball in our school. No football or anything else. We had activities at gym period when basketball was out of season but we mostly practiced basketball year around. When we had games away from home we went on the school bus. In juinor high (in the same building as Senior high) we had white suits with red letters. They were old and many others had used them over the years. I loved my uniform. Button up long tailed top, bloomer like bottoms. The shoes were like tennis shoes but had high tops and we bought them ourselves. Anyway I took my suit home after a game and Mama washed and ironed it up real nice for me. She also kept it mended when needed. Brenda and I would walk up to the bus stop just like we did when we were going to school and wait on the bus. Then we walked back down the lane home when we got back.
One evening we were getting things ready to go on a ball trip. Mama had not felt well so I had ironed my suit and hung it up on a hanger. I noticed that both buttons were loose and in need of fixing but I just ignored it. I could only find one safety pen so I told Brenda to bring one for me. OK she said I'll See you later. Some of the players had overnight bags to carry their socks and stuff in but we didn't have one so we used paper sacks.
I got all my things ready, hung my uniform over my back and hollered at Brenda to come on. Always had to do that. I don't remember where we went that night but it was way up yonder in the mountain. The school used a pot bellied stove and heated with coal. This was their fist time lighting it for the season.
When we got there and went to our dressing room I said, Brenda where is my safety pin. What safety pin? She answered. Now Brenda you know durn well what safety pin. You said you would bring me one. Well I sure don't remember that Clydene. We argued a bit more and asked but no one else had a safety pin either so I decided that one would hold my britches on for tonight.
We were in the middle of the first quarter and we were ahead which was an uncommon thing for us. Most of the other teams around were big ol' girls. (Daddy called em' corn fed) We were a'struttin' around there real prowd of ourselves. Now if you don't know already I'm here to tell you, those pot bellied coal stoves get red hot. I mean that literally, they turn red hot. It was heatin up in there real fast and we were all startin' to complain, even the home team girls. Their coach got up and was walking toward the stove I guess to shut the damper down when we saw what we thought was smoke comin' out toward the top of the stove pipes. Shoot I had the ball and I was about to pass it on to another girl so I wasn't paying much attention. Heck I'd seen stoves smoke before.
Brenda was a forward and I was a guard so we played on opposite ends of the court. Girls didn't play the whole court then. I heard her hollering at me, Clydddeeennneee, watch out. Well now what in the world is wrong with that girl. She knows we aint supposed to talk across court. Shut up Brenda!!! I raised the ball up to pass it to a girl and she wasn't there anymore. Well Good Grief. What tha' heck? When I had my arms in the air to pass the ball I felt the second button come loose. The other side that was pinned sure wasn't'a holdin' my britches up. Nope! They were down to my knees and still goin'. Yep I dropped my drawers right there. They were around my ankles and I bent over to pull em' up when I felt that dad blamed pin sticking me on the backside. I THOUGHT IT WAS THE PIN!!! But it sure nuff' wasn't a safety pin, Nosireee. It was a hornet!!!! Seemed like someone forgot to clean out the stove pipes before the stove was fired up for the first time. A hornet had built a nest in the pipe I guess and when it heated up they came out. Oh my Gosh, Oh my goodness. Come on Clydene lets go. She grabbed me and I started to run but my drawers were down there around my feet and of course I went down draggin' Brenda with me. Clydene get up and come on. Well durn it Brenda wait a minute, I can't go outside with my britches down. Brenda, Bless her heart, drug me across the floor to the dressing room and we got in there. Brenda, this is your fault. No it aint Clydene. Yes it sure is you didn't bring me a pin for my pants. We argued back and forth for a while about who's fault it was but now both pins were gone and we looked around and found out we were in the wrong dressing room. Brenda go get my clothes. I aint goin' out there Clydene and get stung, we'll just havta' wait. It seemed like hours later when we heard someone out in the gym hollerin' our names. Everyone seemed to have come back in and our coach and team mates were lookin' for us. Brenda opened the door a smidgen and peeped out. I had to use both hands to hold my britches up.
I was soooo! embaraced! Brenda finally went and got my clothes and I got dressed and went to the bus. Of course the games were over for that night. Seems no one really got stung very much. Guess those bees were a'tryin' to get out of there too. There were a lot of dead ones on the floor.
Now I guess you know I had figuered out by then that my pants falling down was my fault, not Brenda's. And the hornets weren't either of our faults. YEP. I told Brenda I was sorry and thanked her for helping me get away. YEP! I sure did, about a month or so later cause my Mama made me. HE HE!!!
Friday, October 17, 2008
CANT BELIEVE WE WENT THERE
10-17-08...CANT BELIEVE WE WENT THERE
When Brenda's older Sister started driving she sometimes would take us places that we could not go by ourselves. That is when we started seeing how other people did things that we were never allowed to do and indeed did not even understand. She knew better than to do anything wrong because she knew that we both had motor mouthes and the first thing we would do was spill the beans. She didn't want us with her anyway but my Auntie would say, Either you take them or you don't go. And of course she was threatened to within an inch of her life if she didn't watch us. She had a boyfriend and wanted to see him but my Auntie didn't like him and said no. She took us to the Little Big town of Altus one night with the intention of dumping us at "Teen Town" and going off with her boy friend. Well we were good babysitters for her and watched her close but she was there one minute and gone the next.Clydene we better go find her or we will all get in trouble. We are supposed to stay close to her. Brenda she probably got in (i'll call him Terry) Terries car but I know what it looks like, Lets go outside and look.We walked up and down the street which was only about one block with stores on only one side of the road. We didn't see the car or her so we walked across the road to the Park where some couples were sitting on the picnic tables smooching. "OMG" Did you see what they were doing. My sister sure better not be doing that. Well they were not in the park but I saw the car, I thought. It was parked on over across the highway in front of a place called (I'll call it BUBBA JOHNS). Brenda look where they are. Well I'll tell you right now, she is gonna' get in trouble. Just wait till we tell. Yep, just you wait till we tell.Boy we went prancing across the park to the Highway, crossed the highway,( which we were not supposed to do) and went right on up to the door. Clydene it sure is loud in there, I don't wanna' go in there. Brenda we gotta get her out of there or we are'a'gonna be late gettin' home and we will all be in trouble.Now it's not that we didn't kinda know what we might see in there, that was just it, we kinda' knew. We opened the door and peeked in. The building was a long one. As I remember the bar was right across from the door. People were sitting there on stools. Then there were booth's all along the walls, red I think' and the wooden floor looked slick. Smoke and other smells blasted us in the face, and loud talkin' and laughin' like you never heard. It just scared the ever lovin' tar out of us. Of course Brenda was behind me and I turned around to run and we hit head on smack dab, forehead, nose, chin, smack! I saw stars and she said so did she. Clydene, I see her, there she is, go get her. Heck no I aint'a gonna go get her, she's your sister, you go. OK, but you gotta come with me. Well go on then and I foller' ya'. No, Clydene you stay right beside me. She grabbed hold of my arm with her vice grip that she always used on me and off we went. Well we were about half way there when the one we thought was Brenda's sister looked around at us. OH MY GOSH, that was the ugliest woman I had ever seen, and it sure nuff wasn't who we thought it was. HECK FIRE NO. That woman woulda' scared the britches off a witch. PSEW I mean ugly. I turned round and dug out on that dad-blamed slick floor with Brenda draggin along behind me stuck to my arm as usual. We both hit the floor with Brenda on top of me still holdin' on to my arm. She was'a holdin' on so tight my arm was goin' to sleep. That girl had a grip I tell ya'. Brenda get off of me and turn me loose, durn you anyway. I'd a been out side by now if it hadn'ta been for you! As I lay there squashed on the floor under Brenda, I saw a big ol' pair of boots a'comin' towards us. I mean to tell you now I was gonna' move and Brenda better not be there when I did, cause she would'nt see anything but my dust as I left. Yessiree! I was'a leavin'. I come up and dumpped Brenda off my back but that little nut still had my arm. Heck I couldn't feel the durn thing by now, and I don't think she coulda' turned loose if shed'a wanted to cause her fingers were already sunk to the bone in my flesh. I mean we were growed' together, smack-dab growed' together. Now Brenda was under me. Two big ol' hands reached down and picked us up and pulled us toward a big ol body. Couldn't see the face, didn't wanna' see the face. I started kickin the shins and stompin on them' ol' big boots, heck I even bit that big meaty arm. Hey Clydene, calm down now and quit bitin' me. What in the world are you two girls a'doin' in here anyhow? Now I thought I knew that voice but I wasn'ta staying round' to be sure so I kept up my attack. We were 13 I think and with us growed together the way we were it was not easy for him but he picked me up with Brenda danglin' on and looked me right in the face and said STOP IT AND STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! Well heck fire Brenda it is (i'll call him Jack), It's our Aunts husband. He was the Deputy in Altus at the time. Brenda's sister had gone back in the Teen Town and we were gone so she'd sent Jack to find us. He was frantic, big sister was frantic, and we were just relieved that some big monster didn't have us in his grip. Jack took us outta there fast as he could. He put us in his car and drove us across the highway, marched in there and got big sister by the arm and brought her out. Now you girls have got some big explaining to do. You two stay in my car and You big sister get in that car and I'm'a gonna' follow you home and we are gonna' talk to your Mamas and Daddys. Which he did, and we did, and big sister did. Seems she had been in the shadows smooching her boyfriend when we went a lookun' for her. We all three got in a big heap of trouble but big sister got the most trouble over it cause me'n' Brenda told the whole dang story to our Parents. Yep told ever last detail and enjoyed the tellin of it. YEP!!! I never was in that place any more, NO WAY NO HOW! NOPE NEVER!!!
When Brenda's older Sister started driving she sometimes would take us places that we could not go by ourselves. That is when we started seeing how other people did things that we were never allowed to do and indeed did not even understand. She knew better than to do anything wrong because she knew that we both had motor mouthes and the first thing we would do was spill the beans. She didn't want us with her anyway but my Auntie would say, Either you take them or you don't go. And of course she was threatened to within an inch of her life if she didn't watch us. She had a boyfriend and wanted to see him but my Auntie didn't like him and said no. She took us to the Little Big town of Altus one night with the intention of dumping us at "Teen Town" and going off with her boy friend. Well we were good babysitters for her and watched her close but she was there one minute and gone the next.Clydene we better go find her or we will all get in trouble. We are supposed to stay close to her. Brenda she probably got in (i'll call him Terry) Terries car but I know what it looks like, Lets go outside and look.We walked up and down the street which was only about one block with stores on only one side of the road. We didn't see the car or her so we walked across the road to the Park where some couples were sitting on the picnic tables smooching. "OMG" Did you see what they were doing. My sister sure better not be doing that. Well they were not in the park but I saw the car, I thought. It was parked on over across the highway in front of a place called (I'll call it BUBBA JOHNS). Brenda look where they are. Well I'll tell you right now, she is gonna' get in trouble. Just wait till we tell. Yep, just you wait till we tell.Boy we went prancing across the park to the Highway, crossed the highway,( which we were not supposed to do) and went right on up to the door. Clydene it sure is loud in there, I don't wanna' go in there. Brenda we gotta get her out of there or we are'a'gonna be late gettin' home and we will all be in trouble.Now it's not that we didn't kinda know what we might see in there, that was just it, we kinda' knew. We opened the door and peeked in. The building was a long one. As I remember the bar was right across from the door. People were sitting there on stools. Then there were booth's all along the walls, red I think' and the wooden floor looked slick. Smoke and other smells blasted us in the face, and loud talkin' and laughin' like you never heard. It just scared the ever lovin' tar out of us. Of course Brenda was behind me and I turned around to run and we hit head on smack dab, forehead, nose, chin, smack! I saw stars and she said so did she. Clydene, I see her, there she is, go get her. Heck no I aint'a gonna go get her, she's your sister, you go. OK, but you gotta come with me. Well go on then and I foller' ya'. No, Clydene you stay right beside me. She grabbed hold of my arm with her vice grip that she always used on me and off we went. Well we were about half way there when the one we thought was Brenda's sister looked around at us. OH MY GOSH, that was the ugliest woman I had ever seen, and it sure nuff wasn't who we thought it was. HECK FIRE NO. That woman woulda' scared the britches off a witch. PSEW I mean ugly. I turned round and dug out on that dad-blamed slick floor with Brenda draggin along behind me stuck to my arm as usual. We both hit the floor with Brenda on top of me still holdin' on to my arm. She was'a holdin' on so tight my arm was goin' to sleep. That girl had a grip I tell ya'. Brenda get off of me and turn me loose, durn you anyway. I'd a been out side by now if it hadn'ta been for you! As I lay there squashed on the floor under Brenda, I saw a big ol' pair of boots a'comin' towards us. I mean to tell you now I was gonna' move and Brenda better not be there when I did, cause she would'nt see anything but my dust as I left. Yessiree! I was'a leavin'. I come up and dumpped Brenda off my back but that little nut still had my arm. Heck I couldn't feel the durn thing by now, and I don't think she coulda' turned loose if shed'a wanted to cause her fingers were already sunk to the bone in my flesh. I mean we were growed' together, smack-dab growed' together. Now Brenda was under me. Two big ol' hands reached down and picked us up and pulled us toward a big ol body. Couldn't see the face, didn't wanna' see the face. I started kickin the shins and stompin on them' ol' big boots, heck I even bit that big meaty arm. Hey Clydene, calm down now and quit bitin' me. What in the world are you two girls a'doin' in here anyhow? Now I thought I knew that voice but I wasn'ta staying round' to be sure so I kept up my attack. We were 13 I think and with us growed together the way we were it was not easy for him but he picked me up with Brenda danglin' on and looked me right in the face and said STOP IT AND STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! Well heck fire Brenda it is (i'll call him Jack), It's our Aunts husband. He was the Deputy in Altus at the time. Brenda's sister had gone back in the Teen Town and we were gone so she'd sent Jack to find us. He was frantic, big sister was frantic, and we were just relieved that some big monster didn't have us in his grip. Jack took us outta there fast as he could. He put us in his car and drove us across the highway, marched in there and got big sister by the arm and brought her out. Now you girls have got some big explaining to do. You two stay in my car and You big sister get in that car and I'm'a gonna' follow you home and we are gonna' talk to your Mamas and Daddys. Which he did, and we did, and big sister did. Seems she had been in the shadows smooching her boyfriend when we went a lookun' for her. We all three got in a big heap of trouble but big sister got the most trouble over it cause me'n' Brenda told the whole dang story to our Parents. Yep told ever last detail and enjoyed the tellin of it. YEP!!! I never was in that place any more, NO WAY NO HOW! NOPE NEVER!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
HEY YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
10-13-08...HEY YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
Now I am from the South and we fellers down here are full of Charm and Hospitality. We welcome people in with a smile and a friendly howdy, com'on in sugah'. Well now it takes a lot for me to go back on my rasin' but a lady came to my door this past week that just wouldn't let me be charming or gracious.
She drove right on up to my door in a big white van. Moses didn't like her right away and started showin' his teeth and growlin' real low like. She came up to the door with a big false smile pasted on her face. I know about fake smiles cause I've seen a few. A fake smile just don't make it all the way up to the eyes. The lips are puckered out and the teeth are'a'showin' but look in the eyes. A real smile lights up the eyes and this lady was fakin' it big time. I was taught to always say Please and Thank you mam or sir but no thanks, and to say it sweet like. She had a big ol' book of some kind and I knew right away she was gonna' try to sell me somethin'.
She walked on up to the door with that fake smile on her face. I opened just the storm door a smidgen and stuck my head around the door with the sweetest smile on my face I could muster. Yep" A fake smile! YEP! What's good for the goose. Right? She said "Good afternoon Mam. Could I talk to you for just a minute or two"? Yep I said. And you never heard such a speel in your life as that ol' heiffer' started puttin' out. Oh My what a beautiful dog you've got there. She reached toward him and he snapped at her so I had to pick him up to keep him from wiping that fake smile off her face. Mine was gone a'ready. She didn't miss a beat. "Oh You have such a beautiful entryway. Can I come in and take a better look?" "Well I don't think that's" I started to say necessary but by then she had her foot on the floor just inside the door. She just walked right on in gushin' the whole time. "Oh your walls are so pretty! Is that cedar"? Well any fool outta' know cedar when they see it. Wouldn't you think? YEP! Moses was growlin' and snappin' and I was hanging on tight but he wanted a piece of her arm so bad it was gettin' harder." Oh she said "Could you do my eyelashes like yours"? Now come on, my southern charm was'a'goin' north fast. In fact it was almost to the north pole by now. "I have a chance to take all my family on a free trip to Las Vegas if I win this" (now by now I was not even listenin' to her prattle' and I wanted her gone.) I said "Honey I don't even know what you want with me. Could you please just tell me why you came to my door"? You notice I didn't say "And force your way into my house with no invitation"? Nope My charm was still working even if it was gettin' thin. "I'll go get the boy who came with me and have him bring the cleaners in"she said.
"HEY WHAT IN THE STUFFINS ARE YOU'A TALKIN' ABOUT LADY"? Now I was gettin steamed and my hackles were up worse that Moses's was. " I'm going to clean this floor for you" She said as she started out the door. Well I was gettin' a big mad on now and my southern charm was replaced with some good red faced, madder'n a hornet. down home fightin' mad. "NO I DON'T THINK SO THANK YOU ANYWAY". "Oh it will just take a few minutes with our new" ( don't know what she called it cause even my ears were poppin' by now) "No, Lady, I don't want you to clean my floors" "OK"? Moses was gettin' really mad now and when he gets too upset he has seizures "Lady if you start up some kind of machine in here Moses is going to bite you". Heck fire he has had all his shots so maybe her sour blood wouldn't kill him. I was about ready to tell him to bite the heck outta' her. "Well can't you put him in another room until we are done"? Well that done' it up good. Sorry Daddy but this time I think you would approve> "Now listen to me you hussy. You forced your way in to my house with your big motor mouth and fake smile, Started lying like a mangy dog with all that sweet talk, and now you tell me to lock my dog up so you can do what I done told you I don't want you to do! This is my house, this is Moses' home and my floors are already clean, my entryway aint nothin special, just the room where I hang my plants, and I don't want to buy your fancy machine, I just want you out of my house. RIGHT NOW! "Oh wont you just let me do the carpet in your entryway? You could put your dog in another room couldn't you"? " Now lady I'm about to unleash my dog on you. You dont have much sense do you? You don't even know the meaning of NO!!!" I started toward her .(now Daddy you know I wouldn't hit her, Don't You?)
"You are without a doubt the most stupid woman I have ever met. Now if you are not out of my house in 2seconds flat I will put you out and my dog will bite your butt as you go" "GOT IT"? She opened her mouth like she was gonna' argue with me but she was backing toward the door and all she did was splutter a tad bit.
I don't like to get mad and lose my manners with anyone but that ol' hag was just all I could handle. YEP! Funny thing is My floor really did need cleanin' but I'll do my own cleanin' THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Now I am from the South and we fellers down here are full of Charm and Hospitality. We welcome people in with a smile and a friendly howdy, com'on in sugah'. Well now it takes a lot for me to go back on my rasin' but a lady came to my door this past week that just wouldn't let me be charming or gracious.
She drove right on up to my door in a big white van. Moses didn't like her right away and started showin' his teeth and growlin' real low like. She came up to the door with a big false smile pasted on her face. I know about fake smiles cause I've seen a few. A fake smile just don't make it all the way up to the eyes. The lips are puckered out and the teeth are'a'showin' but look in the eyes. A real smile lights up the eyes and this lady was fakin' it big time. I was taught to always say Please and Thank you mam or sir but no thanks, and to say it sweet like. She had a big ol' book of some kind and I knew right away she was gonna' try to sell me somethin'.
She walked on up to the door with that fake smile on her face. I opened just the storm door a smidgen and stuck my head around the door with the sweetest smile on my face I could muster. Yep" A fake smile! YEP! What's good for the goose. Right? She said "Good afternoon Mam. Could I talk to you for just a minute or two"? Yep I said. And you never heard such a speel in your life as that ol' heiffer' started puttin' out. Oh My what a beautiful dog you've got there. She reached toward him and he snapped at her so I had to pick him up to keep him from wiping that fake smile off her face. Mine was gone a'ready. She didn't miss a beat. "Oh You have such a beautiful entryway. Can I come in and take a better look?" "Well I don't think that's" I started to say necessary but by then she had her foot on the floor just inside the door. She just walked right on in gushin' the whole time. "Oh your walls are so pretty! Is that cedar"? Well any fool outta' know cedar when they see it. Wouldn't you think? YEP! Moses was growlin' and snappin' and I was hanging on tight but he wanted a piece of her arm so bad it was gettin' harder." Oh she said "Could you do my eyelashes like yours"? Now come on, my southern charm was'a'goin' north fast. In fact it was almost to the north pole by now. "I have a chance to take all my family on a free trip to Las Vegas if I win this" (now by now I was not even listenin' to her prattle' and I wanted her gone.) I said "Honey I don't even know what you want with me. Could you please just tell me why you came to my door"? You notice I didn't say "And force your way into my house with no invitation"? Nope My charm was still working even if it was gettin' thin. "I'll go get the boy who came with me and have him bring the cleaners in"she said.
"HEY WHAT IN THE STUFFINS ARE YOU'A TALKIN' ABOUT LADY"? Now I was gettin steamed and my hackles were up worse that Moses's was. " I'm going to clean this floor for you" She said as she started out the door. Well I was gettin' a big mad on now and my southern charm was replaced with some good red faced, madder'n a hornet. down home fightin' mad. "NO I DON'T THINK SO THANK YOU ANYWAY". "Oh it will just take a few minutes with our new" ( don't know what she called it cause even my ears were poppin' by now) "No, Lady, I don't want you to clean my floors" "OK"? Moses was gettin' really mad now and when he gets too upset he has seizures "Lady if you start up some kind of machine in here Moses is going to bite you". Heck fire he has had all his shots so maybe her sour blood wouldn't kill him. I was about ready to tell him to bite the heck outta' her. "Well can't you put him in another room until we are done"? Well that done' it up good. Sorry Daddy but this time I think you would approve> "Now listen to me you hussy. You forced your way in to my house with your big motor mouth and fake smile, Started lying like a mangy dog with all that sweet talk, and now you tell me to lock my dog up so you can do what I done told you I don't want you to do! This is my house, this is Moses' home and my floors are already clean, my entryway aint nothin special, just the room where I hang my plants, and I don't want to buy your fancy machine, I just want you out of my house. RIGHT NOW! "Oh wont you just let me do the carpet in your entryway? You could put your dog in another room couldn't you"? " Now lady I'm about to unleash my dog on you. You dont have much sense do you? You don't even know the meaning of NO!!!" I started toward her .(now Daddy you know I wouldn't hit her, Don't You?)
"You are without a doubt the most stupid woman I have ever met. Now if you are not out of my house in 2seconds flat I will put you out and my dog will bite your butt as you go" "GOT IT"? She opened her mouth like she was gonna' argue with me but she was backing toward the door and all she did was splutter a tad bit.
I don't like to get mad and lose my manners with anyone but that ol' hag was just all I could handle. YEP! Funny thing is My floor really did need cleanin' but I'll do my own cleanin' THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
GET OUTTA MY TERRITORY
10-6-08...GET OUTTA MY TERRITORY
My growing up years were happy. I did not know what I would have to face when I was out from under my Parents protection. I skipped down dirt roads, got dirty, got honery, got in to trouble often, got out often, but my deeds were all really harmless. I just lived in a fairy tale world with no cares,or worries of any kind. Kids today just have too much to get them in trouble that is not so easy to put behind them. What a shame. I get so homesick sometimes for those good old days of my childhood. Reliving the memories makes me happy. I can put everyday problems aside for a spell and just enjoy. So today as I am feeling low and fighting a heartache that I can do nothing about I can go back in time and stay for a spell. We were always so excited when the March of Dimes came to our school. They gave out cards that held ten dimes. We were to go through our neighborhoods and collect dimes for the cure of polio. Brenda and I knew where to go and we always got our cards full for which we got a prize when we took them back to school the next day. I can't remember what the prize was but it was a good'n we thought.One day we messed around too long and as we started up the road we saw Travis going to our houses! How dare he to invade our territory! That smart elec had already sold all his garden seeds in the spring and beat us out on that. Well! This just wadn't a'gonna work, No sireee. Nope, not this time.It was cold that day but we had our mufflers on to keep our hands warm. Well we wer'a gonna need our hands so the mufflers were left by the road hangin' on a tree and we tore out. By then we had learned how to protect what was ours and that house was ours and he wadn'a'gonna get it this time.Heck fire no!! Durn him anyhow. Brenda, I've just plain had it with him aint you? Yep sure nuff have Lets get em'! Like I said, we knew what to do and we knew how to do it fast. We also knew that we really shouldn't do it. Yep. But we done it anyhow. We went charging up the road intending to hit him in the back and knock him down, then we were'a'gonna run up to the house and beat him to the draw. Well just as we got there Travis heard us coming and turned around and run toward us. Well durn him anyway, he wasn't supposed to do that. He knew bettern' to try to out do us now didn't he. Yep! Nope! Guess he didn't. We had to do some fast thinkin' there, and we didn't have no time to talk it over. We were gonna' sidestep him and go on up the road while that rat went on the other way. Good plan, but it didn't work out quiet the way it shoulda'. Brenda was too close to the ditch on her side and the goof just ran on off in there. When Travis turned round to laugh at her, I shoved him right on in there with Brenda. Come on Brenda hurry will you. I grabbed hold of her outstretched hand and tried to help her up but the dad blamed little nut caused me to fall in there with her and Travis. We were all a squabling to get out at once and just kept tumblin back down. There was no mud or water in the ditch this time so we didn't ruin nuthin' but our pride. We both pushed Travis down and slung dirt in his face and up we came. Lets go Brenda. We got'im' beat now by golly. Well we had beat Travis again but when we got to the house there were three durn kids already there and it was too late. Our neighborhood was gettin too many people movin in now. It was never the same any more. Our territory wasn't just ours anymore. We no longer got to roam all over and not be bothered with outsiders. We thought every nook and cranny around there was ours exclusively. Was for a few years but no more. Nope! we had to learn the world didn't spin around us. We had to learn to share and have lots of other friends. Wasn't easy and didn't come fast. We didn't give up easily. Still had to defend our territory from time to time. Yep. Got lots more tannins' with peach tree switches. We were just plain hard headed. At least that was what my Daddy said. To which Mama replied, Well she learned from the master hard head now didn't she Clyde? HE HE HE
My growing up years were happy. I did not know what I would have to face when I was out from under my Parents protection. I skipped down dirt roads, got dirty, got honery, got in to trouble often, got out often, but my deeds were all really harmless. I just lived in a fairy tale world with no cares,or worries of any kind. Kids today just have too much to get them in trouble that is not so easy to put behind them. What a shame. I get so homesick sometimes for those good old days of my childhood. Reliving the memories makes me happy. I can put everyday problems aside for a spell and just enjoy. So today as I am feeling low and fighting a heartache that I can do nothing about I can go back in time and stay for a spell. We were always so excited when the March of Dimes came to our school. They gave out cards that held ten dimes. We were to go through our neighborhoods and collect dimes for the cure of polio. Brenda and I knew where to go and we always got our cards full for which we got a prize when we took them back to school the next day. I can't remember what the prize was but it was a good'n we thought.One day we messed around too long and as we started up the road we saw Travis going to our houses! How dare he to invade our territory! That smart elec had already sold all his garden seeds in the spring and beat us out on that. Well! This just wadn't a'gonna work, No sireee. Nope, not this time.It was cold that day but we had our mufflers on to keep our hands warm. Well we wer'a gonna need our hands so the mufflers were left by the road hangin' on a tree and we tore out. By then we had learned how to protect what was ours and that house was ours and he wadn'a'gonna get it this time.Heck fire no!! Durn him anyhow. Brenda, I've just plain had it with him aint you? Yep sure nuff have Lets get em'! Like I said, we knew what to do and we knew how to do it fast. We also knew that we really shouldn't do it. Yep. But we done it anyhow. We went charging up the road intending to hit him in the back and knock him down, then we were'a'gonna run up to the house and beat him to the draw. Well just as we got there Travis heard us coming and turned around and run toward us. Well durn him anyway, he wasn't supposed to do that. He knew bettern' to try to out do us now didn't he. Yep! Nope! Guess he didn't. We had to do some fast thinkin' there, and we didn't have no time to talk it over. We were gonna' sidestep him and go on up the road while that rat went on the other way. Good plan, but it didn't work out quiet the way it shoulda'. Brenda was too close to the ditch on her side and the goof just ran on off in there. When Travis turned round to laugh at her, I shoved him right on in there with Brenda. Come on Brenda hurry will you. I grabbed hold of her outstretched hand and tried to help her up but the dad blamed little nut caused me to fall in there with her and Travis. We were all a squabling to get out at once and just kept tumblin back down. There was no mud or water in the ditch this time so we didn't ruin nuthin' but our pride. We both pushed Travis down and slung dirt in his face and up we came. Lets go Brenda. We got'im' beat now by golly. Well we had beat Travis again but when we got to the house there were three durn kids already there and it was too late. Our neighborhood was gettin too many people movin in now. It was never the same any more. Our territory wasn't just ours anymore. We no longer got to roam all over and not be bothered with outsiders. We thought every nook and cranny around there was ours exclusively. Was for a few years but no more. Nope! we had to learn the world didn't spin around us. We had to learn to share and have lots of other friends. Wasn't easy and didn't come fast. We didn't give up easily. Still had to defend our territory from time to time. Yep. Got lots more tannins' with peach tree switches. We were just plain hard headed. At least that was what my Daddy said. To which Mama replied, Well she learned from the master hard head now didn't she Clyde? HE HE HE
Friday, October 3, 2008
OUR WORM FARM
10-3-08...Our Worm Farm
We never had any spending money and never really expected any. No one else had any either. At least not anyone we knew or was friends with. A friend of ours told us that the big red worms we often found to fish with could be raised and people from the cities would buy them. He said we had to get something big and fill it with dirt from the creek. We got an old iron kettle that Mama had discarded cause it had a crack in it. We filled it with some slimy slippery dirt and we were all set. Travis said if you break the worms in two pieces then two worms would grow ,and to keep it watered. He also said that we could get hair from a horses tail and put it in water and it would become a worm. He told us we could sell city folk a worm for one cent. Well Heck fire we were a'gonna get rich by golly. Yep Rich! We dug a bunch of worms and put em' in the big potfull of dirt. Now we counted them every day and seemed like they were not making more. Heck fire there were less one day. Well Shoot fire Brenda, that ainta'gonna work. Durn that Travis anyway. Next day in school we cornered Travis and called him the worst thing we could think of. You liver lillied liar Travis. He asked us a few questions and said, You goofy girls, I told you to break em in two. When we got home from school we run down in the pasture and was a'gonna break them things in two but we didn't have a dab blamed worm to break. We checked our bucket of horse tail hairs and no worms there either. Well we just proceeded to dig us more worms and break em in two. Well I guess you know that those dead worms didn't get away like the live ones had. Nope they just sat there in that slimy dirt that was green and stinky by now. Several days later in school we spotted Travis talking to some other boys on the playgroung. Come on Brenda were'a'gonna beat the daylights outta him. We started over there and heard what he was saying so we just stood there and listened. That dad blamed lilly-livered skunk was a'makin fun of us. Boy I got them ol' girls good. Them boys was'a'laughin' their goozles off. Lets get em' Brenda said. Oh no Brenda, wer'a'gonna get him all right. We're gonna get him good. But not here cause we'll get in trouble. We'll do it at home. We had to wait several days but we knew Travis would come riding down on his bicycle one day, and he did. He was a skinny ol' thing and we knew we could over power him. Heck I coulda' done that by myself. Heck yeaw. He started tellin' our Brothers what he had done and how he had fooled them stupid girls and they were all'a laughin'. We just waited till he got through with his tale and we put our plan in to fast action. We had that pot of slimy, stinky, green by now and slightly stagnated with a film on top. Kinda thick and easy to manage. Throw him down Brenda and hold on. (Brenda was bigger than me then and a lot heavier) She ran and pounced on his back and knocked him to the ground. We both sat on him and rubbed rotten worm smush all over him, heck we even put a few hands full in his mouth. Now you smart elec swamp rat that'll teach you to laugh at us now wont it? Huh? Wont it. We were 10 and Travis was 8, all old enough to know better but boy was that sweet revenge. Boy howdy was it fun. Travis shoulda known Brenda and I didn't get mad, We Got Even. Our Brothers laughed, and the kids in school all laughed the next day when we told em'. Our Mamas didn't really see much humor in it but our Daddies sure did. Heck our Daddies laughed harder than the kids did. So did Travis's Daddy. Now his Mama was a different story. I recon she carried a grudge against us for many years. I worked with her when I was 18 yrs old. I helped her cook in a Nursing Home. She threw a big spoon of hot mashed potatoes on me one day and claimed she didn't mean to do it. Well I just smiled and said Oh I know you didn't. Oh but she wasn't foolin' me, that ol' bag did it on purpose. I got her back but good a few months later. But that's another story for another day. Yep Dont mess with me'n'Brenda. NOPE! You could really raise worms that way but not broke in two and it had to be a lot bigger container than we had. Travis's Dad was doing that but we didn't know the details at the time. I really dont know if Travis even knew how but I suspect he did cause he thought it was so funny. Well you smart elec, We got the last laugh. YEP!
We never had any spending money and never really expected any. No one else had any either. At least not anyone we knew or was friends with. A friend of ours told us that the big red worms we often found to fish with could be raised and people from the cities would buy them. He said we had to get something big and fill it with dirt from the creek. We got an old iron kettle that Mama had discarded cause it had a crack in it. We filled it with some slimy slippery dirt and we were all set. Travis said if you break the worms in two pieces then two worms would grow ,and to keep it watered. He also said that we could get hair from a horses tail and put it in water and it would become a worm. He told us we could sell city folk a worm for one cent. Well Heck fire we were a'gonna get rich by golly. Yep Rich! We dug a bunch of worms and put em' in the big potfull of dirt. Now we counted them every day and seemed like they were not making more. Heck fire there were less one day. Well Shoot fire Brenda, that ainta'gonna work. Durn that Travis anyway. Next day in school we cornered Travis and called him the worst thing we could think of. You liver lillied liar Travis. He asked us a few questions and said, You goofy girls, I told you to break em in two. When we got home from school we run down in the pasture and was a'gonna break them things in two but we didn't have a dab blamed worm to break. We checked our bucket of horse tail hairs and no worms there either. Well we just proceeded to dig us more worms and break em in two. Well I guess you know that those dead worms didn't get away like the live ones had. Nope they just sat there in that slimy dirt that was green and stinky by now. Several days later in school we spotted Travis talking to some other boys on the playgroung. Come on Brenda were'a'gonna beat the daylights outta him. We started over there and heard what he was saying so we just stood there and listened. That dad blamed lilly-livered skunk was a'makin fun of us. Boy I got them ol' girls good. Them boys was'a'laughin' their goozles off. Lets get em' Brenda said. Oh no Brenda, wer'a'gonna get him all right. We're gonna get him good. But not here cause we'll get in trouble. We'll do it at home. We had to wait several days but we knew Travis would come riding down on his bicycle one day, and he did. He was a skinny ol' thing and we knew we could over power him. Heck I coulda' done that by myself. Heck yeaw. He started tellin' our Brothers what he had done and how he had fooled them stupid girls and they were all'a laughin'. We just waited till he got through with his tale and we put our plan in to fast action. We had that pot of slimy, stinky, green by now and slightly stagnated with a film on top. Kinda thick and easy to manage. Throw him down Brenda and hold on. (Brenda was bigger than me then and a lot heavier) She ran and pounced on his back and knocked him to the ground. We both sat on him and rubbed rotten worm smush all over him, heck we even put a few hands full in his mouth. Now you smart elec swamp rat that'll teach you to laugh at us now wont it? Huh? Wont it. We were 10 and Travis was 8, all old enough to know better but boy was that sweet revenge. Boy howdy was it fun. Travis shoulda known Brenda and I didn't get mad, We Got Even. Our Brothers laughed, and the kids in school all laughed the next day when we told em'. Our Mamas didn't really see much humor in it but our Daddies sure did. Heck our Daddies laughed harder than the kids did. So did Travis's Daddy. Now his Mama was a different story. I recon she carried a grudge against us for many years. I worked with her when I was 18 yrs old. I helped her cook in a Nursing Home. She threw a big spoon of hot mashed potatoes on me one day and claimed she didn't mean to do it. Well I just smiled and said Oh I know you didn't. Oh but she wasn't foolin' me, that ol' bag did it on purpose. I got her back but good a few months later. But that's another story for another day. Yep Dont mess with me'n'Brenda. NOPE! You could really raise worms that way but not broke in two and it had to be a lot bigger container than we had. Travis's Dad was doing that but we didn't know the details at the time. I really dont know if Travis even knew how but I suspect he did cause he thought it was so funny. Well you smart elec, We got the last laugh. YEP!
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