11-25-09...I'M GOIN DOWN PUNCHIN
I'm here writing this because I have much to say and here all my best acquaintances hopefully will see it.
I was talking to a friend about my health problems one day and we were discussing things that can maybe help. During the conversation I remember saying that my Daddy always said he wants to die with his boots on and I feel the same way. In other words I want to live till I die not vegetate to live. I want Biscuits and gravy with lots of bacon. I want chocolate cake, I want #2 Sonic Burgers, fries and a shake. My friend said something to the affect of, Do you want to live or die. I want to live until I die is my answer.
I watched my Mamma and many more over the years deteriorate from healthy and robust to skin and bones. It will happen! That's a fact. When we finally had to check Mamma in to a nursing home all she really wanted to eat was sausage gravy and biscuits. Well No Mrs Thomas You can't have that because of too much salt. You can't have that big red juicy piece of watermelon Mrs. Thomas, because you are restricted on fluids. It was the same thing day by day. My Mamma was very sick and had no appetite. She would eat only these things and enjoyed only these things. My Brother and I decided why let her lay there and starve because they had her foods restricted. DUH!! Answer is you don't. At least that was our answer. I told everyone who would listen,(and some who wouldn't) that we wanted my Mamma to have anything she would eat, no diets and restrictions. I took her a little bowl of watermelon one day and you would have thought I'd committed murder. OH NO, She can't have that. To heck she can't, Just try and stop her. Her Dr said, I'll take care of the Dr. Did that shorten her life? Maybe a little but Mamma lived till she died, she didn't starve.
My Daddy was dieing and he knew it. He wanted to come home from the hosp. To die with his boots on and Daddy got to live at home for one whole week. I cooked Daddy a steak and potatoes the night before he died. My Daddy was not eating, my Daddy wanted steak and potatoes. End of story.
One morning while I was in the hosp they brought me scrambled eggs and a biscuit for breakfast. I hadn't been eating anything but that morning I would have eaten those eggs if they would have allowed me just a bit of salt. Of course you know they wouldn't let me have it. So, No breakfast.
When The Dr's office called me last night and told me my kidneys are not functioning well and thus not able to pump all the fluids through I thought OK Here we go again! Now I'm not stupid enough to go in the kitchen and eat a box of salt but I will eat some salt. I wont eat as much salt and who knows I might get used to no salt in time but heck fire I weight 160lbs. And I saw my Mamma go from 160 lbs. To 136 lbs in 16 days. Mamma never gained a pound back but just kept going down. So when my Mamma looked like a skeleton lying there in bed and she wanted some sausage & gravy------ Well you know what happened. I just Pray that someone will do that for me.
So today, (or maybe years ago) I made up my mind, I don't care if I've got my boots on but I want to live till I die. Don't want to be deprived of the only things I like just to give me a few more, days/weeks/years? I want to enjoy every day I can and go down punchin' by golly! YEP!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
MY RED SHOES
11-5-09...MY RED SHOES
We didn't get shoes every time we had a whim then, but got them when we needed them. I had Church shoes, white in summer, black in winter, and school shoes. I needed school shoes badly I guess. Mamma was sick so Daddy took me to Dryers Shoe Store to buy my shoes.
I sat down and Daddy told the lady what we needed. Everyone knew the difference in Church and School shoes then even the clerks in the stores.
She brought out several pairs for Daddies inspection. I spotted a pair of red shoes and I wanted them. The lady put them on my foot and I knew right away they were too tight. I also knew that Daddy would squeeze them at the toes to see if they were long enough. I scrunched up my toes as far as I could and Daddy felt where my 'Toe' was and he was satisfied. I got my red shoes and had been wearing them to school for about two weeks. They really hurt my toes but I wasn't about to say anything.
One night I was sitting in the floor barefoot and Daddy said, "Clydene what is wrong with your toes"? "Nothing Daddy Why"? The jig was up. My toes were an awful sight I guess because Mamma and Daddy both had a fit as they examined my toes. When they figured out why Daddy said, "Clydene why in the world did you get those shoes if you knew they were going to hurt your feet"? I told him that I wanted those red shoes and I knew he wouldn't let me have them too little. Mamma and Daddy both told me ,"Clydene they had other sizes I'm sure. You could have still had the red shoes". Well heck fire I didn't even think of that. Shoot fire!
They couldn't afford another pair of shoes right then so My Auntie bought me another pair. No they were not the red shoes I wanted but I wore them anyway.
I was about nine then and should have known better but I wanted that pair of red shoes and cost my Parents more money later. GOOD GRIEF!!!
We didn't get shoes every time we had a whim then, but got them when we needed them. I had Church shoes, white in summer, black in winter, and school shoes. I needed school shoes badly I guess. Mamma was sick so Daddy took me to Dryers Shoe Store to buy my shoes.
I sat down and Daddy told the lady what we needed. Everyone knew the difference in Church and School shoes then even the clerks in the stores.
She brought out several pairs for Daddies inspection. I spotted a pair of red shoes and I wanted them. The lady put them on my foot and I knew right away they were too tight. I also knew that Daddy would squeeze them at the toes to see if they were long enough. I scrunched up my toes as far as I could and Daddy felt where my 'Toe' was and he was satisfied. I got my red shoes and had been wearing them to school for about two weeks. They really hurt my toes but I wasn't about to say anything.
One night I was sitting in the floor barefoot and Daddy said, "Clydene what is wrong with your toes"? "Nothing Daddy Why"? The jig was up. My toes were an awful sight I guess because Mamma and Daddy both had a fit as they examined my toes. When they figured out why Daddy said, "Clydene why in the world did you get those shoes if you knew they were going to hurt your feet"? I told him that I wanted those red shoes and I knew he wouldn't let me have them too little. Mamma and Daddy both told me ,"Clydene they had other sizes I'm sure. You could have still had the red shoes". Well heck fire I didn't even think of that. Shoot fire!
They couldn't afford another pair of shoes right then so My Auntie bought me another pair. No they were not the red shoes I wanted but I wore them anyway.
I was about nine then and should have known better but I wanted that pair of red shoes and cost my Parents more money later. GOOD GRIEF!!!
Monday, November 2, 2009
BOJANGLES
11-02-09...BOJANGLES
I was away for two days and nights. When I got home yesterday evening I was told that my Poodle Moses had not eaten or drank anything. He just sit where he could watch the road and waited for me. He has never done this before and it bothers me. He ate so much when I got home that he vomited it up last night.
This morning he is on my heels and I can't get out of his sight.
This made me remember a little stray dog I had in Missouri in the 80's. His name was BoJangles because he 'followed' the boys home they said. I made them leave him outside for five days and we put an add in the paper that we had found a dog. The boys fed him and made him a bed. He was a pitiful looking thing. Stringy hair and sad eyes. His belly drug the ground because there was about a foot of snow where we lived in Idaho.
After five days and no replies to our ads he was ours. We brought him in and gave him a good bath, brushed him shiny and called him BoJangles. He learned his name fast.
We noticed that he would not eat out of a bowl. We tried all kinds and he acted scared of it. We figuered that he had been whipped out of pet bowls in the neighborhood. The boys fed him by hand and I gave them a spoon to feed him soft foods. Yes! He ate right out of that spoon.
We took BoJangles to a vet and a groomer. They both estimated his age at 16.
We had BoJangles for 6 years while we traveled all over the US. He rode with us and seemed to love it. When we got near home he would stand up in the window and whine. He knew where he was.
I left him with our vet once when we were gone for two weeks. When we picked him up his eyes were swolen from crying. The Vets wife tried to get him to eat but he would not. He was sooo skinny. Took us a while to faten him back up. I never left him again.
BoJangles went blind and his kidneys failed. We had to have him put to sleep. Just broke all our hearts. He was a part of our family and we all loved him.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
WHAT HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING?
10-27-09...WHAT HAPPENED TO THANKSGIVING?
I've been looking for Thanksgiving this morning and all I can find is Halloween. Since I don't do Halloween I am ready for Thanksgiving to be seen. I was trying to find pictures and graphics and there are very few to be found. The ones I did find presisted in putting that blasted turkey on them. Don't want them. Nope!
When in the world did Thanksgiving become turkey day? Good grief turkey does not stand for Thanksgiving. Who started that? I'd like to give them a piece of my mind.
Stores are all decorated and pushing halloween. Halloween is definitely not a holiday for me. They go right from halloween to Christmas and they are even trying to do away with the meaning of Christmas by saying Happy Holiday. I don't answer to that, Its Merry Christmas or I don't answer.
When I was growing up Thanksgiving was as special a day as Christmas. Now it is just passed by by most. What a shame! I'm going to make it my business to bring back Thanksgiving!!!!
I've been looking for Thanksgiving this morning and all I can find is Halloween. Since I don't do Halloween I am ready for Thanksgiving to be seen. I was trying to find pictures and graphics and there are very few to be found. The ones I did find presisted in putting that blasted turkey on them. Don't want them. Nope!
When in the world did Thanksgiving become turkey day? Good grief turkey does not stand for Thanksgiving. Who started that? I'd like to give them a piece of my mind.
Stores are all decorated and pushing halloween. Halloween is definitely not a holiday for me. They go right from halloween to Christmas and they are even trying to do away with the meaning of Christmas by saying Happy Holiday. I don't answer to that, Its Merry Christmas or I don't answer.
When I was growing up Thanksgiving was as special a day as Christmas. Now it is just passed by by most. What a shame! I'm going to make it my business to bring back Thanksgiving!!!!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
NOSTALGIC TIMES
10-24-09...NOSTALGIC TIMES
I got a catalogue in the mail today and set down to look through it. Just a wish book because I wasn't going to buy anything. It is a Christmas book and boy did I ever wish! I got to noticing how they are reviving things from the past. Simple things then but with a huge price attached now.
Remember Chenille robes that ladies all ued to wear? And Chenielle bedspreads? That was the only kind of bed spread or robes I ever remember having then... Well here they were in this catalogue. Just brought back so many memories. I thought Boy I'd love to have one of those now. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the prices. Good Grief, they were much higher than any other bedspread or robe in the book. Mamma had a blue chenielle robe and I can still feel it next to me as I snuggled in her lap. Is that another way of ripping us oldies off? Could be.
Next thing I saw was as set of those bubble lights that were on the Christmas trees then. We never had any but my Aunt Georgia had a set of them and I was just facinated with them. Different colors all bubbly. I'd love to have a set of those. But again they are called nostalgic pieces. ( Whatever to heck that means) $35.00 for a string of those things. No Thank you. I can't afford them but just looking at them gave me a warm fuzzy feeling as I remembered sitting by Aunt Georgia's tree and watching those bubbling lights for hours it seemed.
Things are just not as simple or joyous anymore for me and I sure miss those nostalgic times. Don't you?
I got a catalogue in the mail today and set down to look through it. Just a wish book because I wasn't going to buy anything. It is a Christmas book and boy did I ever wish! I got to noticing how they are reviving things from the past. Simple things then but with a huge price attached now.
Remember Chenille robes that ladies all ued to wear? And Chenielle bedspreads? That was the only kind of bed spread or robes I ever remember having then... Well here they were in this catalogue. Just brought back so many memories. I thought Boy I'd love to have one of those now. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the prices. Good Grief, they were much higher than any other bedspread or robe in the book. Mamma had a blue chenielle robe and I can still feel it next to me as I snuggled in her lap. Is that another way of ripping us oldies off? Could be.
Next thing I saw was as set of those bubble lights that were on the Christmas trees then. We never had any but my Aunt Georgia had a set of them and I was just facinated with them. Different colors all bubbly. I'd love to have a set of those. But again they are called nostalgic pieces. ( Whatever to heck that means) $35.00 for a string of those things. No Thank you. I can't afford them but just looking at them gave me a warm fuzzy feeling as I remembered sitting by Aunt Georgia's tree and watching those bubbling lights for hours it seemed.
Things are just not as simple or joyous anymore for me and I sure miss those nostalgic times. Don't you?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
MY WONDERFUL MAMMA
10-21-09...MY WONDERFUL MAMMA
My Mamma was fisty just like me. But different from me because she hardly ever showed a temper. She would not argue with anyone and never gossiped. She told me that if someone was talking about someone else for me to always say something nice like, "Well look what a pretty sweater or dress they have on". I was not as good at that as Mamma is my Brother Norman is more like Mamma in that way.
We never had much but Mamma could make a good meal for us out of the least thing she had.
Mamma had to work hard. Daddy had to work away from home in another state so that left Mamma to take care of us and everything around the home.
I can remember Mamma taking care of Norman and me when we had the mumphs. Thing was Mamma had the mumps right along with us and still took care of us, milked the cow, sloped the hogs, fed the chickens, and cooked.
I was almost five when my Brother was born. I remember Mamma having to also do all these chores when she was pregnant and big with Norman. I never heard her complain. Daddy had to go and work she said, and that was all the work he could get.
Mamma had a rough childhood during the depression. They never had enough to eat. Their house leaked and had big cracks in the walls. If it rained they all had to find a dry spot to sleep and put pans under the leaks. Mamma said Grandma could also make something good out of nothing.
Kids picked on Mamma and Her Sister in School and made fun of them because they only had one dress and brought beans for their lunch.
Mamma would give away anything she had if she thought you wanted it. My Brother said one day a few years ago that he fully expected to go to her apartment someday and find Mamma setting in the floor because she had given everything she had away. That was my Mamma. She has been gone six years now. On her headstone we put, SHE LEFT THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE FROM BEING HERE.... YEP that's the truth.
Mamma on the right...Mamma with Me and Norman
MY SON RICHARD
10-21-09...GROWING UP WITH RICHARD
I had such a good time growing with my Son Richard. I had lost hope of ever having my own little baby when he was finally born. Oh what joy. A feeling down inside me I had never known and will never know again.
I just stopped everything else and devoted my time to enjoying and protecting Richard. We spent so much quality time together. Going fishing, on picnics, walks, or just sitting on a chair together while I read him a book.
Today I am thinking of all the sweet and funny things Richard said in early childhood.
Richard's Dad loved him but he was a mean alcoholic and his language was awful so of course Richard listened and repeated. He didn't really know what he was saying but I spent a lot of time trying to teach him the difference between bad words and good words. I want to list a few of the times when his sweet little voice came out with an undesirable word and I smiled in spite of myself.
Richard and I were outside one day and encountered a snake in my flower bed. It was hissing at us and coiling up like it was going to strike. I grabbed Richard and took off around the house meaning to get a hoe to kill it. As we ran Richard yelled, "Mamma get the GD shotgun and kill that SOB" Oh my goodness , I wanted to laugh, I wanted to correct, and I wanted to get rid of the snake. What I did was get in a giggle fit. Later that night I told him those words were bad even if Daddy did say them.
Another time My Daddy gave Richard a silver dollar. Richard said, "That's a GD silver hundred dollars". Now when my Daddy got tickled of course I did too.
I spent a lot of nights explaining to Richard that all these words were bad and we couldn't say them. He didn't understand then but he did later. God Bless His Sweet Heart. I'll see him again some day and we will once again giggle.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
MY DADDY THE GIANT
10-20-09...MY DADDY
My Daddy was a small statured man. 5/7, size 7 shoe, 160 lbs. Small to some but a giant to me. I thought he was 10 ft. tall and could do anything in the world. Daddy was quiet and gentle most of the time. Slow to anger but scrappy when provoked. Daddy had a hard life. Had to quit school in the 2nd grade and work on Papa's farm. Papa seemed to think that girls needed to be in school but as he put it, Boys needed to work not push a pencil.
Daddy's Mamma died when Daddy was still a baby and Papa remarried. The step mother was not good to Daddy. Even would pray for Daddy to die. I was told that Papa didn't know about this and I choose to believe that because I loved my Papa.
Daddy left home when he was 15 to escape his hard life. He lived with his Sister and her family and joined the CCC camp since he couldn't get in the regular army with only one eye. Later he went down in the dark coal mines the only work he could get with his education. He worked in the mines for 27 yrs. I had a great life growing up in a house full of love and laughter. We never had much but our lives were full and I never suspected we were poor.
My Daddy was a small statured man. 5/7, size 7 shoe, 160 lbs. Small to some but a giant to me. I thought he was 10 ft. tall and could do anything in the world. Daddy was quiet and gentle most of the time. Slow to anger but scrappy when provoked. Daddy had a hard life. Had to quit school in the 2nd grade and work on Papa's farm. Papa seemed to think that girls needed to be in school but as he put it, Boys needed to work not push a pencil.
Daddy's Mamma died when Daddy was still a baby and Papa remarried. The step mother was not good to Daddy. Even would pray for Daddy to die. I was told that Papa didn't know about this and I choose to believe that because I loved my Papa.
Daddy left home when he was 15 to escape his hard life. He lived with his Sister and her family and joined the CCC camp since he couldn't get in the regular army with only one eye. Later he went down in the dark coal mines the only work he could get with his education. He worked in the mines for 27 yrs. I had a great life growing up in a house full of love and laughter. We never had much but our lives were full and I never suspected we were poor.
Monday, October 19, 2009
MY GRANDMA
10-19-09...My Grandma
My grandma was only 5-2 and she weighed 250 lbs when she was young. She was quiet a sight. The first time I saw her I was two and while I have vague memories of the time I can't remember much. We traveled from Ar. to corcoran california on thr train to visit. I don't remember how long we stayed but that was the first and only time I ever saw my grandpa.
Grandma came to Ar. to live with us when grandpa died. I was 8.
Grandma and I got very close after a while but at first I resented having to sleep with her. I got used to it when on cold winter nights she kept me warm and on hot nights she laid and fanned me with a paper.
My mom and dad worked outside the home later on and grandma did the cooking and cleaning. She taught me a lot. I love buttermilk and I remember her making it with powdered milk. I wish I knew how she did it but can't remember.
She made jams without the sure gel we use now and it was scrumptious. She pressed the fruit through a cheese cloth and then cooked it to jel consistency on the stove. I was usually there watching her.
Sometimes when we got home from school there would be a cake for us. I loved her sorghum cakes. Another thing I wish I could make now. Grandma couldn't pass on recipes because she just dumped things together, no recipe. her measurements were, a pinch, a dollop, a handful, and it was hard to duplicate.Grandmas aren't like that anymore. Now they look as young as their daughters.
My grandma was only 5-2 and she weighed 250 lbs when she was young. She was quiet a sight. The first time I saw her I was two and while I have vague memories of the time I can't remember much. We traveled from Ar. to corcoran california on thr train to visit. I don't remember how long we stayed but that was the first and only time I ever saw my grandpa.
Grandma came to Ar. to live with us when grandpa died. I was 8.
Grandma and I got very close after a while but at first I resented having to sleep with her. I got used to it when on cold winter nights she kept me warm and on hot nights she laid and fanned me with a paper.
My mom and dad worked outside the home later on and grandma did the cooking and cleaning. She taught me a lot. I love buttermilk and I remember her making it with powdered milk. I wish I knew how she did it but can't remember.
She made jams without the sure gel we use now and it was scrumptious. She pressed the fruit through a cheese cloth and then cooked it to jel consistency on the stove. I was usually there watching her.
Sometimes when we got home from school there would be a cake for us. I loved her sorghum cakes. Another thing I wish I could make now. Grandma couldn't pass on recipes because she just dumped things together, no recipe. her measurements were, a pinch, a dollop, a handful, and it was hard to duplicate.Grandmas aren't like that anymore. Now they look as young as their daughters.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
THE MONSTER ATTACK
10-16-09...THE MONSTER ATTACK
I was in the kitchen trying to get my dishes loaded in the dishwasher after dinner today. My dog Moses always comes in there and rattles his food dish everytime he finds me busy. Rattle, Rattle, Thump, Thump. Wait a minute Moses can't you see I'm busy. Oh yes I talk to my dog. He understands me perfectly too, just don't listen very well.
I got agravated at him. I slamed a spoon down on the counter, dried my hands, and said Darn you Moses I'm gonna' get your food so you'll get out of here and leave me alone.
The dog food sack in in the bottom of the cabinet. I cut the top out and just set it in there for easy access because he always does that.
Well I shoved my hand down in the sack and got hold of something besides dog food. That something else was warm and fuzzy and alive! I shrieked to the top of my lungs and did the watusi the best I could across the kitchen. Thing was I hadn't let go of the warm, fuzzy, live thing in my hand and so far had not even looked at it.
It started to squirm and reminded me it was there. That's when I looked at what I was clutching. I looked in to the little beety eyes of a dang mouse. I shreiked again. Moses started barking furiously and I heard Don gettin' up out of his recliner where he had dozed off. Shreik, watusi, shreik, watusi.
Just as Don came in to the kitchen as fast as his little short legs would carry him, I realized I still had that gag blamed mouse in my hand and I threw it with all my might still shreiking and watusi-ing. Guess where I threw the mouse? You guessed it, Right smack dab in Don's face! YEP! Sure nuff did!!
When I saw what I had done I got a giggle fit. I mean to tell you a rip-roarin' full blown giggle fit! The look on his face just tore me up and I was un-glued.
Don didn't think it was one little bit funny and he told me so. Moses was dancing round' us barking and I couldn't quit giggling.
After it all settled down a bit the mouse was long gone. I got me a piece of nylon string and secured the top of the bag. No more mice are gettin' in there I'll tell you for sure. When I get to town I'll buy a can with a lid to keep the food in.
I was in the kitchen trying to get my dishes loaded in the dishwasher after dinner today. My dog Moses always comes in there and rattles his food dish everytime he finds me busy. Rattle, Rattle, Thump, Thump. Wait a minute Moses can't you see I'm busy. Oh yes I talk to my dog. He understands me perfectly too, just don't listen very well.
I got agravated at him. I slamed a spoon down on the counter, dried my hands, and said Darn you Moses I'm gonna' get your food so you'll get out of here and leave me alone.
The dog food sack in in the bottom of the cabinet. I cut the top out and just set it in there for easy access because he always does that.
Well I shoved my hand down in the sack and got hold of something besides dog food. That something else was warm and fuzzy and alive! I shrieked to the top of my lungs and did the watusi the best I could across the kitchen. Thing was I hadn't let go of the warm, fuzzy, live thing in my hand and so far had not even looked at it.
It started to squirm and reminded me it was there. That's when I looked at what I was clutching. I looked in to the little beety eyes of a dang mouse. I shreiked again. Moses started barking furiously and I heard Don gettin' up out of his recliner where he had dozed off. Shreik, watusi, shreik, watusi.
Just as Don came in to the kitchen as fast as his little short legs would carry him, I realized I still had that gag blamed mouse in my hand and I threw it with all my might still shreiking and watusi-ing. Guess where I threw the mouse? You guessed it, Right smack dab in Don's face! YEP! Sure nuff did!!
When I saw what I had done I got a giggle fit. I mean to tell you a rip-roarin' full blown giggle fit! The look on his face just tore me up and I was un-glued.
Don didn't think it was one little bit funny and he told me so. Moses was dancing round' us barking and I couldn't quit giggling.
After it all settled down a bit the mouse was long gone. I got me a piece of nylon string and secured the top of the bag. No more mice are gettin' in there I'll tell you for sure. When I get to town I'll buy a can with a lid to keep the food in.
MY HELICOPTER RIDE
10-15-09...MY HELICOPTER RIDE
I guess I'll tell my experience with a helicopter ride. My first and last ride might I add.
I was working in a buffet in Laughlin Nevada. People came in there to gamble at the casino. I didn't approve of the place or what it did but I sure approved of the money I got in tips. I worked there for about nine months through one summer and winter. I hated it there. So hot. On Christmas day that year it was 75* and I cried like a big baby to go home to Missouri where there was snow.
Anyway back to the helicopter ride. The casino was called Riverside because it sat on the Co. river or some river I'm not sure which. The man who owned the casino lived up on the very top in the executive suite with his young wife. They had a helicopter that was kept up there so they could just walk out their door and get on. Kind of like we have our cars. They took the helicopter across the river to whereever they were going.
That Christmas he decided to take all his employees on a moonlight ride down the river for Christmas. I said NO WAY NO HOW am I getting on that thing anytime and for sure I aint getting on it at night. Nope.
As the time grew closer for our "GIFT", I kept saying no. My co workers kept on at me to go. after all they said, this might be your last chance to do this. Well like a goony bird I finally agreed to go.
I can't remember exactly but I think 3 went up at one time. I made my partners let me sit in the middle. I didn't want to see anything. By Golly I was planning to keep my eyes closed.
When we lifted off that big tall building I left my stomach behind and never could find it. But I sure nuff found my supper. I'll try to make this as delicate as I can. My supper spewed out like a volcano. Everywhere there was a surface my supper made it's self known and stunk to high heaven. I mean rotten stink. Oh My God, Just when I thought I was through the Banana Flambe came in all its glory. My partners were spewed, the glass was spewed, everything was spewed. I was never so embarraced in my life!
The pilot turned around as soon as he could and took us back to the launch pad. I had to go down the elevator with my friends. I apologised all the way. One of them said, "Just shut your mouth and don't do it in here."
So guys that is my great helicopter ride. I had forgotten all about it till Barb and Audrey told their stories. Now I think I'll do my best to forget it again. YEP!!
I guess I'll tell my experience with a helicopter ride. My first and last ride might I add.
I was working in a buffet in Laughlin Nevada. People came in there to gamble at the casino. I didn't approve of the place or what it did but I sure approved of the money I got in tips. I worked there for about nine months through one summer and winter. I hated it there. So hot. On Christmas day that year it was 75* and I cried like a big baby to go home to Missouri where there was snow.
Anyway back to the helicopter ride. The casino was called Riverside because it sat on the Co. river or some river I'm not sure which. The man who owned the casino lived up on the very top in the executive suite with his young wife. They had a helicopter that was kept up there so they could just walk out their door and get on. Kind of like we have our cars. They took the helicopter across the river to whereever they were going.
That Christmas he decided to take all his employees on a moonlight ride down the river for Christmas. I said NO WAY NO HOW am I getting on that thing anytime and for sure I aint getting on it at night. Nope.
As the time grew closer for our "GIFT", I kept saying no. My co workers kept on at me to go. after all they said, this might be your last chance to do this. Well like a goony bird I finally agreed to go.
I can't remember exactly but I think 3 went up at one time. I made my partners let me sit in the middle. I didn't want to see anything. By Golly I was planning to keep my eyes closed.
When we lifted off that big tall building I left my stomach behind and never could find it. But I sure nuff found my supper. I'll try to make this as delicate as I can. My supper spewed out like a volcano. Everywhere there was a surface my supper made it's self known and stunk to high heaven. I mean rotten stink. Oh My God, Just when I thought I was through the Banana Flambe came in all its glory. My partners were spewed, the glass was spewed, everything was spewed. I was never so embarraced in my life!
The pilot turned around as soon as he could and took us back to the launch pad. I had to go down the elevator with my friends. I apologised all the way. One of them said, "Just shut your mouth and don't do it in here."
So guys that is my great helicopter ride. I had forgotten all about it till Barb and Audrey told their stories. Now I think I'll do my best to forget it again. YEP!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
GROCERY SHOPPING
10-14-09...GROCERY SHOPPING
I don't like going to the grocery store anymore. So when yesterday I decided I had to go I reluncantly got myself ready. Might as well get it over with I thought. When my husband saw me getting ready he decided he wanted to go with me. Oh Lord Goodness, That was bad enough but when he decides he is going to drive I wilted. Lord give me patience I thought.
Now Don drives about 40 MPH even on the highway. Cars pile up behind him and take chances trying to get around him. I'm thinking, Heck fire he's gonna' get us in a wreck sure as shootin'. Why can't those people just slow down. But 40 MPH on a fast highway. No that aint' gonna' happen. I try just closing my eyes and being quiet but Don is talking a blue streak and looking over at me to see why I'm not answering him. The car is swerving and when Don hits the brakes, Don hits the breaks. UMPH! Good thing my seat belt is on or my head would have hit the windshield. Well heck I better open my eyes so I can be ready for Whatever! Umph, Umph, Umph!! He asks what is wrong with me and I say nothing is wrong with me, you just tend to your driving. That makes him mad so he tells me that he is 65 years old and knows how to drive. Oh My gosh. Will we ever get there?
Well we finally did get there. I didn't know he was going in the store with me but, Yep he did. Good Grief.
Inside the store he wants to push the cart. I start out with my list ahead of him. When I get ready to put the first item in the cart I turn around and he aint' there. I locate him and say what are you doing to which he replies, Waiting on you. Well for heavens sake!!!
I finally got him to stay with me but he does stop now and then till I take hold of the cart and drag him along. He's taking the whole time. He can't hear worth a squat so everyone in the store hears him cause he talks so loud.
We finally get out in the car and home we go. 40 MPH and several Umps and by golly we pull in to our carport. I carry in 5 bags and he carries in two bags. Then I get it all put away and I've had it! Good Grief, The next time I have to go to the grocery store I'm going to slip off while he ain't lookin' YEP!!
I don't like going to the grocery store anymore. So when yesterday I decided I had to go I reluncantly got myself ready. Might as well get it over with I thought. When my husband saw me getting ready he decided he wanted to go with me. Oh Lord Goodness, That was bad enough but when he decides he is going to drive I wilted. Lord give me patience I thought.
Now Don drives about 40 MPH even on the highway. Cars pile up behind him and take chances trying to get around him. I'm thinking, Heck fire he's gonna' get us in a wreck sure as shootin'. Why can't those people just slow down. But 40 MPH on a fast highway. No that aint' gonna' happen. I try just closing my eyes and being quiet but Don is talking a blue streak and looking over at me to see why I'm not answering him. The car is swerving and when Don hits the brakes, Don hits the breaks. UMPH! Good thing my seat belt is on or my head would have hit the windshield. Well heck I better open my eyes so I can be ready for Whatever! Umph, Umph, Umph!! He asks what is wrong with me and I say nothing is wrong with me, you just tend to your driving. That makes him mad so he tells me that he is 65 years old and knows how to drive. Oh My gosh. Will we ever get there?
Well we finally did get there. I didn't know he was going in the store with me but, Yep he did. Good Grief.
Inside the store he wants to push the cart. I start out with my list ahead of him. When I get ready to put the first item in the cart I turn around and he aint' there. I locate him and say what are you doing to which he replies, Waiting on you. Well for heavens sake!!!
I finally got him to stay with me but he does stop now and then till I take hold of the cart and drag him along. He's taking the whole time. He can't hear worth a squat so everyone in the store hears him cause he talks so loud.
We finally get out in the car and home we go. 40 MPH and several Umps and by golly we pull in to our carport. I carry in 5 bags and he carries in two bags. Then I get it all put away and I've had it! Good Grief, The next time I have to go to the grocery store I'm going to slip off while he ain't lookin' YEP!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
SLOP JAR
10-13-09...SLOP JAR!!!
Do all of you know what a slop jar is? No it is not a jar that you keep slop in. It is really a tin bucket with a lid on it. I have no idea why they were called slop jars. Every one had at least 1. We had three in our house. They were white granite with red rings around the rims. In case you are still wondering ____________ Well I'm a gonna tell you! They were in our bed rooms at night. We could pee in them but the number two job we were not allowed to do. That way we didn't have to make a trip to the john (toilet) out back just to pee. It was my job to take the slop jars out every morning and dump them and rinse them out to use the next night. Not a pleasant job. Sometimes I tried to get by with out cleaning them out which consisted of using the water in the wash pan, where we had washed our hands, and using an old broom to scrub them out. Once a week they were scrubbed good with purex water by Mama.
Now I guess I thought the slop jars just magically appeared in our house or maybe they were just somehow there. Not the case as I found out. One day an older cousin and I were with Daddy when he went to The Oklahoma Tire and Supply store in Ozark. We had no interest in going in that store we were waiting to get out at the grocery store.
We didn't know what Daddy was going in there for so we watched for him to come back. We were in the back seat. Well when Daddy came out of the store guess what he had in his hand. You guessed it, A Slop Jar!! Now Daddy didn't have the thing put in a big sack like most people. Heck Fire No! My Daddy carried that sucker right out of that store for everybody to see. OH MY GOSH!! There he came down the sidewalk swinging that darn thing by the bail as he walked. Every time he took a step the bail squeaked. Sounded just like a screech owl. We were both trying to hide in the back seat. My cousin was long legged and took up a big part of the seat. When we started ducking down to hide we bumped heads the first thing. I shrieked cause it hurt. He put his hand over my mouth but I bit him and he let go and shrieked. We got in a wrestling match trying to get down in the seat enough not to be seen by all the people on the street who were pointing and laughing. ( By the way, It was us they were laughing at not my Daddy. I guess they had figured out what was wrong with us but Daddy hadn't yet. My Cousin pushed me down in the floor and tried to lay on the seat but his big ol' feet were hanging over in my face. He was barefoot so Guess what I did. Yep! I got one of those big ol' dirty toes in my mouth and bit the blood outta that sucker. Yep, sure did. His whole body jumped and he hit the top of the car with a thud. Now guys the cars then had no plush upholstery. Nope, It was hard.! He started bellering and hollering and I started giggling. In the midst of this Daddy heard us and he threw that durn slop jar as he came a runnin'. That thing skidded up that sidewalk sounding like screeching owls in a herd. YEP! It came to rest at someones feet Daddy said later. Me I didn't see a thing cause I was still in the floor of the car with my cousin sitting on me. YEP! When I could see Daddy was opening the door and peering in. ( No back doors so he was hanging over the seat) Daddy thought for sure we were hurt and with my cousin bleeding from the toe and hand plus a scratch on his hard head it didn't help. I was pushing trying to get him off me and giggling at the same time. My cousin got out because he had to so I could get up. Daddy said, “Go get that slop jar and I'll help Clydene up”. He sure nuff didn't want to go get it but Daddy said so. I said, “daddy I don't want to get out, Lets Go”.
Later I asked Daddy why he didn't have them put that thing in a sack so this wouldn't have happened. “Heck Why” my Daddy said. It was a lot easier carried that way”. Oh My Goodness!
Now I don't see why we were so embarrassed by it. Who knows? Silly to say the least. HUH? YEP!!
Do all of you know what a slop jar is? No it is not a jar that you keep slop in. It is really a tin bucket with a lid on it. I have no idea why they were called slop jars. Every one had at least 1. We had three in our house. They were white granite with red rings around the rims. In case you are still wondering ____________ Well I'm a gonna tell you! They were in our bed rooms at night. We could pee in them but the number two job we were not allowed to do. That way we didn't have to make a trip to the john (toilet) out back just to pee. It was my job to take the slop jars out every morning and dump them and rinse them out to use the next night. Not a pleasant job. Sometimes I tried to get by with out cleaning them out which consisted of using the water in the wash pan, where we had washed our hands, and using an old broom to scrub them out. Once a week they were scrubbed good with purex water by Mama.
Now I guess I thought the slop jars just magically appeared in our house or maybe they were just somehow there. Not the case as I found out. One day an older cousin and I were with Daddy when he went to The Oklahoma Tire and Supply store in Ozark. We had no interest in going in that store we were waiting to get out at the grocery store.
We didn't know what Daddy was going in there for so we watched for him to come back. We were in the back seat. Well when Daddy came out of the store guess what he had in his hand. You guessed it, A Slop Jar!! Now Daddy didn't have the thing put in a big sack like most people. Heck Fire No! My Daddy carried that sucker right out of that store for everybody to see. OH MY GOSH!! There he came down the sidewalk swinging that darn thing by the bail as he walked. Every time he took a step the bail squeaked. Sounded just like a screech owl. We were both trying to hide in the back seat. My cousin was long legged and took up a big part of the seat. When we started ducking down to hide we bumped heads the first thing. I shrieked cause it hurt. He put his hand over my mouth but I bit him and he let go and shrieked. We got in a wrestling match trying to get down in the seat enough not to be seen by all the people on the street who were pointing and laughing. ( By the way, It was us they were laughing at not my Daddy. I guess they had figured out what was wrong with us but Daddy hadn't yet. My Cousin pushed me down in the floor and tried to lay on the seat but his big ol' feet were hanging over in my face. He was barefoot so Guess what I did. Yep! I got one of those big ol' dirty toes in my mouth and bit the blood outta that sucker. Yep, sure did. His whole body jumped and he hit the top of the car with a thud. Now guys the cars then had no plush upholstery. Nope, It was hard.! He started bellering and hollering and I started giggling. In the midst of this Daddy heard us and he threw that durn slop jar as he came a runnin'. That thing skidded up that sidewalk sounding like screeching owls in a herd. YEP! It came to rest at someones feet Daddy said later. Me I didn't see a thing cause I was still in the floor of the car with my cousin sitting on me. YEP! When I could see Daddy was opening the door and peering in. ( No back doors so he was hanging over the seat) Daddy thought for sure we were hurt and with my cousin bleeding from the toe and hand plus a scratch on his hard head it didn't help. I was pushing trying to get him off me and giggling at the same time. My cousin got out because he had to so I could get up. Daddy said, “Go get that slop jar and I'll help Clydene up”. He sure nuff didn't want to go get it but Daddy said so. I said, “daddy I don't want to get out, Lets Go”.
Later I asked Daddy why he didn't have them put that thing in a sack so this wouldn't have happened. “Heck Why” my Daddy said. It was a lot easier carried that way”. Oh My Goodness!
Now I don't see why we were so embarrassed by it. Who knows? Silly to say the least. HUH? YEP!!
MAKING TAFFY
10-12-09...MAKING TAFFY
My cousin Brenda and I were always "DOING SOMETHING". Maybe we had too much time on our hands, especially in the summer when school was out. Brenda's Mama worked out of the home but my Mama was a housewife and took care of us. There were four of us, me, my Brother, Brenda and her Brother. The boys stayed inside with Mama but Brenda and I were back and forth between the houses. We lived only across the barbed wire fence and up the lane a short way. Mama could see in their kitchen window. We decided to help my Auntie out and wash her dishes which we started but that was too hard. We left some pans full of water on the wash board to "SOAK". Well "We'VE DONE OUR GOOD THING FOR TODAY" We said to each other, now lets cook something. Of course we wanted something sweet. We got out my Auntie's recipes (no book just a pile of recipes that she never used. She cooked out of her head she said. I didn't understand back then what she meant. I kept watchin' her head when she was cookin' but nothing ever came out) But I am ramblin' so back to our cookin'. We decided on making taffy because we had seen that done and the pullin' was fun. Since I've never wanted taffy since that day (YUKKY) I can't tell you what went in it but we cooked it up. What now I said. Well it has to cool before we pull it and the recipe says pour it out on a flat surface. There was a bunch of that stuff and the only flat surface we could see was the kitchen table. Sooooo! Guess What? Yep! That's just what we did and that stuff was still hot. There were cracks in that old wooden table but we couldn't help that, NOW COULD WE? OH MY GOODNESS WE SAID. We've gotta' clean this up before Auntie gets home or My Mama shows up checking on us. OH MY! OH MY! OH MY GOODNESS!!! Well DO you remember those pans sitting on the wash board soakin'? We'll just use that to clean up the floor, the chairs, and whatever else needed cleanin'. Auntie will be so happy and prowd of us when she sees how we have cleaned her kitchen , Don't you think she will, Brenda? Oh yeaw she will be so glad that she don't have to wash them dishes and mop them floors. Why no tellin what she may give us. Ok so we got all the pans down and set them on the floor under the table, got some towels and set to work!! Of course we weren't very strong so we spilled some of the pans before we got them there. Then we slipped in that soapy water(we used Oxydol detergent and boy was it slick) We wallered around down there and just cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. We thought the floor looked good when My Mama walked in with our Brothers, one on each hip, but she didn't agree with us, and there was taffy hardening on the table. OH MY OH MY OH MY!!!! You've got to understand that we were seven and eight at the time and knew better. You also need to understand that things were different back then. We were the only ones who lived down there. No one to hurt us and no one who would hurt us. Our doors were NEVER locked at our houses. NO NEED TO. Anyway back to the rest of the story. My Auntie came home about two hours later to find a spotless kitchen. Brenda and I cleaned that kitchen while My Mama watched. YES SIREE WE DID! We thought we were out of the woods now. We had baths and Mama sat us down to wait. We even saw her trying not to smile a couple of times so we just really felt good about it. "THEN MY AUNTIE GOT HOME" Mama told us to just sit right there and "DON'T YOU MOVE TILL I TELL YOU TO" We kinda thought she was gonna' brag on us to Auntie about what a good job we had done. Well we had cleaned that kitchen up real good all by ourselves, "HADN'T WE" I guess you know the rest of the story and I guess you know we didn't ever do that again. Auntie spanked us both, Then Mama spanked us both while our little snooty nosed Smart elec Brother's has cookies and milk. That is how we learned our lessons in life back then. We experienced things and we took the consquences. NO MORE NEXT TIMES. WE LEARNED GOOD. We had wonderful parents. We were spanked when we needed it and we were loved unconditionally all the time. Oh those were the best memories! THE VERY BEST THERE IS!! Kids now just have no idea what they are missing. DON'T YOU THINK?
My cousin Brenda and I were always "DOING SOMETHING". Maybe we had too much time on our hands, especially in the summer when school was out. Brenda's Mama worked out of the home but my Mama was a housewife and took care of us. There were four of us, me, my Brother, Brenda and her Brother. The boys stayed inside with Mama but Brenda and I were back and forth between the houses. We lived only across the barbed wire fence and up the lane a short way. Mama could see in their kitchen window. We decided to help my Auntie out and wash her dishes which we started but that was too hard. We left some pans full of water on the wash board to "SOAK". Well "We'VE DONE OUR GOOD THING FOR TODAY" We said to each other, now lets cook something. Of course we wanted something sweet. We got out my Auntie's recipes (no book just a pile of recipes that she never used. She cooked out of her head she said. I didn't understand back then what she meant. I kept watchin' her head when she was cookin' but nothing ever came out) But I am ramblin' so back to our cookin'. We decided on making taffy because we had seen that done and the pullin' was fun. Since I've never wanted taffy since that day (YUKKY) I can't tell you what went in it but we cooked it up. What now I said. Well it has to cool before we pull it and the recipe says pour it out on a flat surface. There was a bunch of that stuff and the only flat surface we could see was the kitchen table. Sooooo! Guess What? Yep! That's just what we did and that stuff was still hot. There were cracks in that old wooden table but we couldn't help that, NOW COULD WE? OH MY GOODNESS WE SAID. We've gotta' clean this up before Auntie gets home or My Mama shows up checking on us. OH MY! OH MY! OH MY GOODNESS!!! Well DO you remember those pans sitting on the wash board soakin'? We'll just use that to clean up the floor, the chairs, and whatever else needed cleanin'. Auntie will be so happy and prowd of us when she sees how we have cleaned her kitchen , Don't you think she will, Brenda? Oh yeaw she will be so glad that she don't have to wash them dishes and mop them floors. Why no tellin what she may give us. Ok so we got all the pans down and set them on the floor under the table, got some towels and set to work!! Of course we weren't very strong so we spilled some of the pans before we got them there. Then we slipped in that soapy water(we used Oxydol detergent and boy was it slick) We wallered around down there and just cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. We thought the floor looked good when My Mama walked in with our Brothers, one on each hip, but she didn't agree with us, and there was taffy hardening on the table. OH MY OH MY OH MY!!!! You've got to understand that we were seven and eight at the time and knew better. You also need to understand that things were different back then. We were the only ones who lived down there. No one to hurt us and no one who would hurt us. Our doors were NEVER locked at our houses. NO NEED TO. Anyway back to the rest of the story. My Auntie came home about two hours later to find a spotless kitchen. Brenda and I cleaned that kitchen while My Mama watched. YES SIREE WE DID! We thought we were out of the woods now. We had baths and Mama sat us down to wait. We even saw her trying not to smile a couple of times so we just really felt good about it. "THEN MY AUNTIE GOT HOME" Mama told us to just sit right there and "DON'T YOU MOVE TILL I TELL YOU TO" We kinda thought she was gonna' brag on us to Auntie about what a good job we had done. Well we had cleaned that kitchen up real good all by ourselves, "HADN'T WE" I guess you know the rest of the story and I guess you know we didn't ever do that again. Auntie spanked us both, Then Mama spanked us both while our little snooty nosed Smart elec Brother's has cookies and milk. That is how we learned our lessons in life back then. We experienced things and we took the consquences. NO MORE NEXT TIMES. WE LEARNED GOOD. We had wonderful parents. We were spanked when we needed it and we were loved unconditionally all the time. Oh those were the best memories! THE VERY BEST THERE IS!! Kids now just have no idea what they are missing. DON'T YOU THINK?
LATE NIGHT IN THE BATHROOM
10-12-09...LATE NIGHT IN THE BATHROOM
I'm going to tell you a tale on my Husband Don. I swear if you ever tell him I told you this I'll say you lied like a big fat dog. Don goes to the bathroom a lot during the night. And I swear I think he is asleep while he goes. He doesn't wake up easy. He has gone to sleep and fell off the pot, went in the closet instead of the bathroom, (and if he ever does that again he is a goner) gone out the door and fell off the steps, I could go on and on. But right now I've got this to tell. One night last week he was up and down as usual. Well he had been having trouble with those thingies that you use Preparation H for.(GOT IT) OK. Here is the rest of the story. I have some of that strong pain rub in my drawer just below his drawer and he is not supposed to rummage around my drawer. Well as I said before I think he is asleep when he goes to the bathroom. SOOOOO! I was lying there sleeping peacefully when I was blasted out of my sleep with the loudest scream I believe I've ever heard. Then there was a slammed door and lots of foot stomping coming from the vicinity of the bathroom. Am I gettin' ahead of you? No? I didn't think so. I didn't know what was going on so I jumped (or maybe I fell) out of bed, stumped my toe on the bed rail, or something or other down there. Anyway I took off running. I was planning on running in the opposite direction of the noise. Hey I didn't know what it was. Coulda' been someone comin' to cut my throat. Right? I met Don in the hallway and he was dancing and hoping, and yelping like a hyenna. I said for goodness sake you woke me out of a sound sleep what's wrong with you ( I was saying all this through giggles because you aint seen nothing till you see Don moving fast, just don't happen!!!) IT WAS FUUUNNNYYY! Well he finally told me what happened (as soon as he could get his breath) and I was supposed to stop the giggling and get serious, RIGHT! WRONG. It's just not in me to stop giggling once I get started. NO WAY!! NO HOW!! He would dance a little and I would giggle a lot and that went on even after he got mad as an old wet hen and told me to shut up and do something. I wasn't shuttin' up and I certainly wasn't doin' nothin'. He got himself there He could sure get himself out. He wasn't supposed to be rummagin' around in my drawer anyway. SO THERE!!! I still can't keep a straight face when I think about it and Don still don't think it is one bit funny. It took a long soak in the tub before his face turned back to the normal color. His face was a rainbow of colors before that happened. I had to almost sign my name with my own blood to a contract before he would believe I wouldn't tell it to everyone I see. Well I've only told it to a few dozen people. Not bad HUH? MORAL (IF THERE IS ONE) MAKE SURE YOU ARE AWAKE BEFORE YOU USE PREPARATION H!!! MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU SOME MORE OF THOSE LATE NIGHT BATHROOM ESCAPADES LATER. YEP I WILL!!!
I'm going to tell you a tale on my Husband Don. I swear if you ever tell him I told you this I'll say you lied like a big fat dog. Don goes to the bathroom a lot during the night. And I swear I think he is asleep while he goes. He doesn't wake up easy. He has gone to sleep and fell off the pot, went in the closet instead of the bathroom, (and if he ever does that again he is a goner) gone out the door and fell off the steps, I could go on and on. But right now I've got this to tell. One night last week he was up and down as usual. Well he had been having trouble with those thingies that you use Preparation H for.(GOT IT) OK. Here is the rest of the story. I have some of that strong pain rub in my drawer just below his drawer and he is not supposed to rummage around my drawer. Well as I said before I think he is asleep when he goes to the bathroom. SOOOOO! I was lying there sleeping peacefully when I was blasted out of my sleep with the loudest scream I believe I've ever heard. Then there was a slammed door and lots of foot stomping coming from the vicinity of the bathroom. Am I gettin' ahead of you? No? I didn't think so. I didn't know what was going on so I jumped (or maybe I fell) out of bed, stumped my toe on the bed rail, or something or other down there. Anyway I took off running. I was planning on running in the opposite direction of the noise. Hey I didn't know what it was. Coulda' been someone comin' to cut my throat. Right? I met Don in the hallway and he was dancing and hoping, and yelping like a hyenna. I said for goodness sake you woke me out of a sound sleep what's wrong with you ( I was saying all this through giggles because you aint seen nothing till you see Don moving fast, just don't happen!!!) IT WAS FUUUNNNYYY! Well he finally told me what happened (as soon as he could get his breath) and I was supposed to stop the giggling and get serious, RIGHT! WRONG. It's just not in me to stop giggling once I get started. NO WAY!! NO HOW!! He would dance a little and I would giggle a lot and that went on even after he got mad as an old wet hen and told me to shut up and do something. I wasn't shuttin' up and I certainly wasn't doin' nothin'. He got himself there He could sure get himself out. He wasn't supposed to be rummagin' around in my drawer anyway. SO THERE!!! I still can't keep a straight face when I think about it and Don still don't think it is one bit funny. It took a long soak in the tub before his face turned back to the normal color. His face was a rainbow of colors before that happened. I had to almost sign my name with my own blood to a contract before he would believe I wouldn't tell it to everyone I see. Well I've only told it to a few dozen people. Not bad HUH? MORAL (IF THERE IS ONE) MAKE SURE YOU ARE AWAKE BEFORE YOU USE PREPARATION H!!! MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU SOME MORE OF THOSE LATE NIGHT BATHROOM ESCAPADES LATER. YEP I WILL!!!
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