6-23-09...MY EXCITING DAY
I was going to write this earlier today but I thought Hey, when I have a day starting out like this what makes me think it wont escalate to something bigger. Well I was right to wait because this has been a day to remember to say the least.
When I got out of bed this morning with all the groanin' and moanin' that was just the way it is. No problem, nothing new, just gotta get going very slowly. OK, That's over with. I head to the bathroom for my morning rituals consisting of groaning some more as I sit down on the pot, creaking and cracking as I get up. Taking my glasses off and splashing cold water on my face. Well I've done this before but I didn't learn nothing from it cause once again I forgot to take my glasses off before I splashed. I took em' off, dried my face and proceeded to spray glass cleaner on to clean them. But it wasn't glass cleaner folks! Heck No it was deodorant spray. Well Good Grief! I washed them off as good as I could but they are still sticky causin' me to think, well heck fire is that what I've been spraying on my body!? I must have several layers of that darn stuff under my arms. SHOOT FIRE!!!
I finally got my glasses clean and wiped dry. Now next is my hair. Since I look like I've put my finger in a light socket when I get up I have to tame it down before I go out of the BR and scare anyone to death. I have a tube of stuff just for that. I rub a generous amount in my hands. Well that feels funny I think. It must have thickened in the tube. I go ahead and rub it in my hair anyway. Waste not want not, don't you know? It smells funny too and it shore aint doing what it usually does. Nope, It is all green and gunky. I look down at the tube and guess what? It is tooth paste Yep! So I wash my hair and get it all out. Well I was a' gonna' do that later anyway. So OK just a mistake.
I headed to the kitchen thinking I'm gonna' have some of that home made bread for breakfast later. Toast up a slice of it and slather a big dollop of strawberry jam on it. Yummy I can almost taste that now. Now guys I'll come back to that later. Don't let me forget ya' hear?
I got my coffee and by now had to go back to the bathroom, them darn water pills anyway!! I walked in the BR and just as calm as a cucumber I poured my coffee in the pot. Just turned that blamed cup up and politely poured it in!!! Hey! Now I'm getting flustered don't ya' know? I gotta pee so I sit right down in the coffee that spilled on the seat of the pot. Gross!! Cleaned up and went to the kitchen for another cuppa coffee, bring it in here and check messages, had some, opened them and read them. I'll answer them later.
Now I head out to my chair in my spot and turn on the Tv to watch the news and weather. Well that was depressing and Moses is sitting on my feet wanting to go potty. I swig some of my now cold coffee and off we go. Its hotter'n' blue blazes already and only about seven AM. I go to kitchen, get hot coffee but heck fire now I'm sweating heavily so it don't taste near as good as it would have an hour ago.
But now my show that I watch every morning comes on and I'm gonna enjoy that. I watch Joyce Meyer every morning and then watch Archie Bunker (All in The Family) to get tuned up first spiritually and then tickle my funny bone. Joyce Meyer was great but they didn't have Archie this Morning. Heck fire whad'da'they mean taking my show off? Durn fools. I turn the channel to XM radio Enlighten which plays Gospel music all day and listen for about an hour. Ok, now things are lookin' up so I'll go fix my toast. Remember the home made Bread? I made it yesterday and boy was it gonna be good for toast. I was wondering though how come I didn't eat a big hunk yesterday right outta the oven. I don't remember doing that and I aways do that, heck I must have done that, but no I can't remember doing that. Well I'm'a'gonna now. YEP!
In the kitchen I reached for my bread. I always put it in the same place so I reached without looking and came up with hot air. No Bread. Ok, Who moved my bread? Where the heck is my bread? Hey!! Wheres my bread?, this aint funny now I want my bread. My bread was gone! Gone! Slicker'n hot butter its gone!!! I was getting loud now, By Golly I want My Bread and I want it now. Don must've got in it last night and moved it. Well that just makes me madder'n'a'hornet YEP!! I got up a sweat cookin that bread yesterday and it better be here. Strange I don't remember cookin' it. Nope!
Now folks if I'd written this early this morning there wouldn't have been an end to the bread story. It would have remained a mystery. YEP!
I went about my business an decided I wasn't gonna' say a word to anybody about my bread. I was beginning to suspect that something just wasn't right here. Yep something was fishy all right.
I tried all day to forget about my bread because I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. I'll never mention it I told myself.
Well folks just a couple hours ago I finally got to the bottom of the mysterious bread. I started to do some laundry and smelled something. Smelled kinda' good but not really. Setting there on my dryer with a cloth over it was the smelly thing. What tha' heck?!! I raised the towel up and there in all its glory was a big glob runnin' all over the place. Gooey and ugly and bubblin' like nothin' I'd ever seen. Yep! You got it! It was my loaf of bread uncooked. It had risen over the pan and run all over. There it was as plain as the nose on my face ozzing all over in all its glory!!
I don't remember ever having such a mess to clean up in my whole life. Not even with all the messes Brenda and I made over the years. By golly I think this tops anything We ever did! But clean it up I did and I made fast work outta' it. Don hadn't seen or heard about me making bread and I sure don't intend for that ol' grouch to find out either. NOPE!!!! If You tell him I'm a gonna' hafta' hurt ya'. YEP!!!
