Wednesday, March 3, 2010

WHY DO I CRY

3-3-10...WHY DO I CRY?

Some have expressed how they are amazed at how I can recall my Childhood in such clarity. I didn't really think much about it until others noticed. I thought for a while it had to be because my childhood was so happy. Uneventful but happy. There was never much to cry or be sad about then and we tend to remember the happy things more readily.
But in my older years I have taken to crying about every little thing. I hate it. Always standing around blubbering like an old cow in front of whoever happens to be around. The least little flicker of memory and off I go again like a leaky faucet whether I am alone or in a crowded place. Like this morning in the grocery store when I smelled an old memory of a little grocery store I went to with my Mamma and Daddy and the water works started. A sad commercial, a not so sad commercial that reminds me of something, frustration about something or somebody, knowing someone is wrong and they wont listen. I even cry when I'm happy or excited. GOOD GRIEF! A smell, a song , a color. The list goes on and on. It just don't take much to make me cry.
My x husband never allowed me to cry for any reason and if I did he slapped me silly and I cut it off instantly. I thought maybe that is my reason for crying so much now. But there are times when crying just makes me feel good. I'll say, “I've had a good cry and now I feel better”.
I remember hearing somewhere once that women are just plain cry babies and didn't need a reason to cry. Well I am not sure if that is true. Maybe Men are just better at hiding it than we women are. Surely to goodness Men cry often. I know a bunch of soft hearted men, my Brother being one. So who knows the truth of it. I just know that It gets embarrassing sometimes to be bawling like a lost calf and have a stranger say. “What's wrong honey, Can I help You”?