11-25-09...I'M GOIN DOWN PUNCHIN
I'm here writing this because I have much to say and here all my best acquaintances hopefully will see it.
I was talking to a friend about my health problems one day and we were discussing things that can maybe help. During the conversation I remember saying that my Daddy always said he wants to die with his boots on and I feel the same way. In other words I want to live till I die not vegetate to live. I want Biscuits and gravy with lots of bacon. I want chocolate cake, I want #2 Sonic Burgers, fries and a shake. My friend said something to the affect of, Do you want to live or die. I want to live until I die is my answer.
I watched my Mamma and many more over the years deteriorate from healthy and robust to skin and bones. It will happen! That's a fact. When we finally had to check Mamma in to a nursing home all she really wanted to eat was sausage gravy and biscuits. Well No Mrs Thomas You can't have that because of too much salt. You can't have that big red juicy piece of watermelon Mrs. Thomas, because you are restricted on fluids. It was the same thing day by day. My Mamma was very sick and had no appetite. She would eat only these things and enjoyed only these things. My Brother and I decided why let her lay there and starve because they had her foods restricted. DUH!! Answer is you don't. At least that was our answer. I told everyone who would listen,(and some who wouldn't) that we wanted my Mamma to have anything she would eat, no diets and restrictions. I took her a little bowl of watermelon one day and you would have thought I'd committed murder. OH NO, She can't have that. To heck she can't, Just try and stop her. Her Dr said, I'll take care of the Dr. Did that shorten her life? Maybe a little but Mamma lived till she died, she didn't starve.
My Daddy was dieing and he knew it. He wanted to come home from the hosp. To die with his boots on and Daddy got to live at home for one whole week. I cooked Daddy a steak and potatoes the night before he died. My Daddy was not eating, my Daddy wanted steak and potatoes. End of story.
One morning while I was in the hosp they brought me scrambled eggs and a biscuit for breakfast. I hadn't been eating anything but that morning I would have eaten those eggs if they would have allowed me just a bit of salt. Of course you know they wouldn't let me have it. So, No breakfast.
When The Dr's office called me last night and told me my kidneys are not functioning well and thus not able to pump all the fluids through I thought OK Here we go again! Now I'm not stupid enough to go in the kitchen and eat a box of salt but I will eat some salt. I wont eat as much salt and who knows I might get used to no salt in time but heck fire I weight 160lbs. And I saw my Mamma go from 160 lbs. To 136 lbs in 16 days. Mamma never gained a pound back but just kept going down. So when my Mamma looked like a skeleton lying there in bed and she wanted some sausage & gravy------ Well you know what happened. I just Pray that someone will do that for me.
So today, (or maybe years ago) I made up my mind, I don't care if I've got my boots on but I want to live till I die. Don't want to be deprived of the only things I like just to give me a few more, days/weeks/years? I want to enjoy every day I can and go down punchin' by golly! YEP!!
