7-25-10...A TRAGEDY
I know for a fact that even with the had things we went through as kids we were still some of the most Blessed kids in the world. Thinking what others my age had to endure then just brings that home to me more.
There was another house that was right on the tracks like ours. I had a friend who lived in that house and I could walk up the RR right of way and go there in about 10 minutes. I visited her often and I can see that house like it was yesterday. It was fairly large and good thing it was because they had 10 kids in that house. My Friend, (I'll call her Ella) lived there with that huge family and she was the baby of the group. We were probably about 10 then. She and Brenda never developed the friendship that I had with Ella.
Ella's Mom and Dad were jolly and good but never had the time they needed to spend with their kids even though you could see the love they had for them. The older ones took care of the younger ones mostly. There was only one boy in the whole 10 of them and he stayed in the woods for reasons obvious.
Ella's Daddy was a farmer and he worked hard just like my Daddy did in the coal mine. He was a big man. He had an old tractor that had seen it's better days. He was out on the tractor cutting hay one day at dinner time and Ella's Mamma sent us to take him water and food.
He was quiet a ways from the house and as we got closer we could hear the tractor running and see smoke rising in the air.
We never suspected anything was wrong and just took our time getting there. What we saw when we did get there was the tractor burning. We didn't see her Dad at first but as we ran closer the tractor exploded and we say her Dad crawling toward a little creek close by. His clothes were on fire and he was screaming. Never before or since have I heard such a sound. A high pitched moan. The grass was on fire but wasn't spreading much because it was green.
We ran on to the creek and her Dad was lying in the edge of the water and he was quiet. The smell still haunts me sometimes. Mostly the memory has been blocked out of my mind. Very seldom does it come back.
Her Dad was already gone but we really didn't know that. He was black and charred.
WE ran back to the house as fast as we could get there and told what we could. Ella's Mom sent me home and told me to go to the only neighbor who had a car and ask for help. I did that and the people sped off in their car.
I went home and it took me a while but I told Mamma what had happened.
All the neighbors walked up the track to try and help. All of us kids stayed together in one house with older ones to watch us.
Ella and her family moved away after that and I never saw them again but I know, now even better than then, how hard they must have had it in years to come.
The house sold and the new family were middle aged with no kids. Mamma went up the track from time to time and visited with the woman but I never wanted to go with her.
It was a terrible thing to happen and made my Parents seem even more precious to me.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Daydreams of Yesterday With Gratitude
7-22-10...Daydreams of Yesterday With Gratitude
It seems like most days now I go running down that dirt road that leads to a dead end. There is black shale on that road and I am barefoot. I don't notice the sharp shale grinding in to my feet or that my feet have become black and maybe hot from the sunshine. All I see is two houses to the left of me and a train going by on the track at the very end. The house's are very close, In hollering distance. There might be a couple of kids in each yard but most likely there will be four kids in one of the yards together. Sometimes those kids might be squabbling over something but most times they are laughing and playing together.
As I get a little closer my heart beats in anticipation and fills with longing to hurry and be there in their midst. A big Collie dog with a limp comes to welcome me with his tail wagging so fast that his whole body is moving.
At the second house I see a woman on the porch calling to the kids to come on in “supper's ready”. She doesn't have to persuade them much, they've been playing hard all day and they are hungry.
I think to myself, Well she didn't ask me but she looks so welcoming I know she won't mind so I go on in and get ready for supper with all the rest. There are some more folks who also come to the door and they are welcomed as the Woman says 'Sit down and I'll get you a plate. There is plenty.
There is a square home made table that I know that kind tired looking man made with his hammer, hand saw, and nails. An oilcloth is covering the rough lumber. It has yellow daisies covering it and I think it is so pretty.
On the table is a large pan of pinto beans with some kind of meat in them sometimes but usually not. There is a huge bowl of fried potatoes and I know no one will ever fry potatoes as good as those. A big skillet of cornbread sits on a dishrag piping hot, a bowl of red sliced onions and that is usually all there is.
The floor of the kitchen is not level. In fact the table is slanted so far on the uneven floor that the girl knocks over a glass of something and it runs right down in to the lap of the man across from her. He jumps up and the lady starts cleaning up the mess.
I'm thinking, Boy that girl is in trouble now but strangely the man and woman just smile at her and say “Eat your supper honey, and be more careful”.
What a beautiful scene all of this is as it flashes through my mind. So real that I can feel the dirt on my feet and smell the beans and cornbread, fried taters and red onions. Only to realize that here I sit looking out at a very different scene, and none of that is real. Kind of sad until I remember that I can go again anytime I wish and once again be drawn in to that wonderful place that I can call mine. This makes me smile as my heart fills with such wonderful memories of a place exactly like that. Knowing that I grew up there and it all was and is mine makes me overflow with gratitude.
It seems like most days now I go running down that dirt road that leads to a dead end. There is black shale on that road and I am barefoot. I don't notice the sharp shale grinding in to my feet or that my feet have become black and maybe hot from the sunshine. All I see is two houses to the left of me and a train going by on the track at the very end. The house's are very close, In hollering distance. There might be a couple of kids in each yard but most likely there will be four kids in one of the yards together. Sometimes those kids might be squabbling over something but most times they are laughing and playing together.
As I get a little closer my heart beats in anticipation and fills with longing to hurry and be there in their midst. A big Collie dog with a limp comes to welcome me with his tail wagging so fast that his whole body is moving.
At the second house I see a woman on the porch calling to the kids to come on in “supper's ready”. She doesn't have to persuade them much, they've been playing hard all day and they are hungry.
I think to myself, Well she didn't ask me but she looks so welcoming I know she won't mind so I go on in and get ready for supper with all the rest. There are some more folks who also come to the door and they are welcomed as the Woman says 'Sit down and I'll get you a plate. There is plenty.
There is a square home made table that I know that kind tired looking man made with his hammer, hand saw, and nails. An oilcloth is covering the rough lumber. It has yellow daisies covering it and I think it is so pretty.
On the table is a large pan of pinto beans with some kind of meat in them sometimes but usually not. There is a huge bowl of fried potatoes and I know no one will ever fry potatoes as good as those. A big skillet of cornbread sits on a dishrag piping hot, a bowl of red sliced onions and that is usually all there is.
The floor of the kitchen is not level. In fact the table is slanted so far on the uneven floor that the girl knocks over a glass of something and it runs right down in to the lap of the man across from her. He jumps up and the lady starts cleaning up the mess.
I'm thinking, Boy that girl is in trouble now but strangely the man and woman just smile at her and say “Eat your supper honey, and be more careful”.
What a beautiful scene all of this is as it flashes through my mind. So real that I can feel the dirt on my feet and smell the beans and cornbread, fried taters and red onions. Only to realize that here I sit looking out at a very different scene, and none of that is real. Kind of sad until I remember that I can go again anytime I wish and once again be drawn in to that wonderful place that I can call mine. This makes me smile as my heart fills with such wonderful memories of a place exactly like that. Knowing that I grew up there and it all was and is mine makes me overflow with gratitude.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
PROMISE OF GOD.COM...FOUR SEASONS
7-10-10...http://www.promiseofgod.com/four-seasons/
I know a lot of you have read my blogs and some of you have bought my books. Thank you I appreciate you. I recently was accepted by a site that is going to feature some of my stuff on theie site. Below is one of them and I wanted to share it with my friends. I posted it in bulletins this morning but I realizd that I have a bunch of friends here in blogs that are not necessarily on my friends list and wouldn't see my bulletin. Please click below. I hope you like it. If it won't open for you please let me know. Love to all Clydene
I know a lot of you have read my blogs and some of you have bought my books. Thank you I appreciate you. I recently was accepted by a site that is going to feature some of my stuff on theie site. Below is one of them and I wanted to share it with my friends. I posted it in bulletins this morning but I realizd that I have a bunch of friends here in blogs that are not necessarily on my friends list and wouldn't see my bulletin. Please click below. I hope you like it. If it won't open for you please let me know. Love to all Clydene
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
CHANGE CAN BE GOOD
7-5-10...CHANGE CAN BE GOOD
Life can be rough but it can also be wonderful. It really comes down to the way we handle all the fears, hurts, hopes, dreams, and everyday problems that we are sure to face. Just when things are smooth on the road you can be sure that there will be a bump up ahead that is totally going to wreck your cart and all the things that were good are going to come spilling out in a great big heap. What counts is how you handle the spill. You can scream and holler about all the injustices of your life and just leave it lying there, or you can stop, pick it up, and start over.
Many times I have just gone on and let it lay but I always had to come back and clean it up. It's always harder that way so I try to always clean up as I go. Mamma always told me that if I made a mess to clean it up as I go. That way when it is done, it is done.
NO one person will ever view things exactly the way I do, do the things I do, or think the things I think. I learned very early on that there is no way I can bend someone's will and change what the say, do, think, or what they want. We all all unique and different. I can't for the life of me why everyone in the world aren't scrambling for a big plate of fried Okra. I love it. It is delicious to me. I hate Summer and the intense miserable heat it brings and I love winter with it's beautiful snow and ice. I just can't comprehend anyone liking to get their brains baked in the hot summer sun.
God made us all different just the way he wanted each one to be. We all all special to Him. We are the very first High Tech Computers ever built with every part having it's own use in the scheme of things. We are what we are and none of us have a right to push our thoughts and beliefs on anyone else yet we all do try at times.
I've tried to change, I've tried to change others. It doesn't work. We need to be happy with who we are and where we are. Everyone has the same rights and chances that I do. I have accepted me and I have accepted that everyone else has that same right. It is a sad thing that we have to be older before we accept things. I guess we are like they say about fine wine, It's better with age.
I love God, family, friends, Fall, Winter, snow, and a nice warm fire to name a few. I hate liars, being lied to, being lied about, being called a liar, bullies, and summer. As long as I keep the love list longer than the hate list I figure I'm OK and I am satisfied.
My perspective on a lot of things has done a complete turn about. That fact in no way means that I am a different, a better, or a worse person. I'm still just a plain ol' Country girl who talks funny to some and likes Pinto beans, fried taters , okra. Red onions sour pickles, Cole slaw and cornbread. I'm just me and I'm still here. YEP!
Life can be rough but it can also be wonderful. It really comes down to the way we handle all the fears, hurts, hopes, dreams, and everyday problems that we are sure to face. Just when things are smooth on the road you can be sure that there will be a bump up ahead that is totally going to wreck your cart and all the things that were good are going to come spilling out in a great big heap. What counts is how you handle the spill. You can scream and holler about all the injustices of your life and just leave it lying there, or you can stop, pick it up, and start over.
Many times I have just gone on and let it lay but I always had to come back and clean it up. It's always harder that way so I try to always clean up as I go. Mamma always told me that if I made a mess to clean it up as I go. That way when it is done, it is done.
NO one person will ever view things exactly the way I do, do the things I do, or think the things I think. I learned very early on that there is no way I can bend someone's will and change what the say, do, think, or what they want. We all all unique and different. I can't for the life of me why everyone in the world aren't scrambling for a big plate of fried Okra. I love it. It is delicious to me. I hate Summer and the intense miserable heat it brings and I love winter with it's beautiful snow and ice. I just can't comprehend anyone liking to get their brains baked in the hot summer sun.
God made us all different just the way he wanted each one to be. We all all special to Him. We are the very first High Tech Computers ever built with every part having it's own use in the scheme of things. We are what we are and none of us have a right to push our thoughts and beliefs on anyone else yet we all do try at times.
I've tried to change, I've tried to change others. It doesn't work. We need to be happy with who we are and where we are. Everyone has the same rights and chances that I do. I have accepted me and I have accepted that everyone else has that same right. It is a sad thing that we have to be older before we accept things. I guess we are like they say about fine wine, It's better with age.
I love God, family, friends, Fall, Winter, snow, and a nice warm fire to name a few. I hate liars, being lied to, being lied about, being called a liar, bullies, and summer. As long as I keep the love list longer than the hate list I figure I'm OK and I am satisfied.
My perspective on a lot of things has done a complete turn about. That fact in no way means that I am a different, a better, or a worse person. I'm still just a plain ol' Country girl who talks funny to some and likes Pinto beans, fried taters , okra. Red onions sour pickles, Cole slaw and cornbread. I'm just me and I'm still here. YEP!
THE RABBIT HUNT
7-4-10...THE RABBIT HUNT
As I have aged things have changed with me. I no longer dream of the future and all the great things I'm going to achieve. I am happy with the way things are most of the time. My perspective on most things has done a complete turn about.
My resistance to things like, problems, adversities, feelings, indeed my body does not respond to pain the way it always did. My feelings are much more easy to hurt and I'm finding the least thing and I go on a crying pity party. You would think that I'd have developed a shell hard as nails and not petratable by no but no I'm very vulnerable to everything and I detest that.
My Parents taught me to get up dust off my britches and keep on keeping on no matter how far my face was pushed in to the mud. I thought I would always do that and I built a wall between me and things that wanted to harm me. Somewhere or someone along the way tore my wall down and I became weak and mellow as a kitten. My fire is gone it seems. It was such a subtle thing that I didn't notice it. Getting older and losing resilience was kinda like getting fat, someone had to point it out to me.
When I get in this mode and seem to lose my fight all I need to do is start using my ability to go on back there in my child-hood and reminiscence about things. That'll do it every time but because of my slower reflexes it takes me a bit longer now.
My Grandpa (Pappa) Thomas was an honery old cuss and never a bore to be around. He told us many things that were less than the truth just for fun. Mamma didn't like it one bit but we had fun with him. He told us things like a brown cow gives chocolate milk and the moon was made of cheese and we had to have it proved to us that Pappa was just funning with us. When he told us that if we sprinkled salt on a rabbits tail we could catch it he very nearly got everyone in a bunch of trouble.
One day Brenda and I decided we would catch us a pet rabbit by golly and we knew just how to do it. We were afraid Mamma would miss her salt shaker so we just took the box and off we went. It didn't take long to find a rabbit and if you are familiar with their actions you will know that you can walk almost up to the rabbit before it hops away. I think they kind of sniff out what you are up to doing by instinct or they just like to play tag.
Here we went through the pasture chasing that critter with it staying just a bit ahead of us. The salt was flying through the air. We sneaked, it hopped. When we ran out of salt and gave up we started back home. But wait a darn minute here, which way is back? We hadn't been watching where we were going and though things looked familiar we had gone without watching and we didn't know which way was back home. We had gone a whole bunch farther than we ever had before and there was two 6 year old's lost as two gooses in a fox den. As was typical with Brenda she started hanging on to me, ripping my clothes, and we both wet our britches.
"Brenda turn loose of me you are pinching my arm", but she just dug in deeper. I was never quiet as brave as I acted but Brenda brought out something in me that made me dig in my heels. (I need some of that heel digging right now.) I said "Brenda start screaming, maybe they'll hear us". They heard us all right but the one who heard us was the old ragged man who lived in a haunted house way down in the woods by the tracks. Pappa had told us all about him. Sure He Had! and there wasn't a scrap of truth to it. Pappa always said he was gonna toughen us up and between his stories and my protectiveness of Brenda it did toughen me up.
At least when the old man came up to us we had some sense of where we were. "Run Brenda" I hollered. Well heck fire Brenda was holding on to my arm in a death grip and I was dragging her. I stopped abruptly and of course it had a sling shot affect on Brenda. She went flying past me and now she was dragging me. I mean that girl was moving on now. "Brenda, you're going the wrong way, stop". She stopped and this time I was in the sling shot smack dab in to that old man. We all went down. "Well Brenda you done it this time. He's got us now".
Poor old man had the wind knocked out of him but he was trying to laugh. That just scared us worse. He said "You girls get up off me and I'm gonna to take you home". It took some convincing on his part but we finally figured out he was a good old man even if he did stink and live in a shack. Heck his house wasn't haunted either he said. He led us up to where we could see Brenda's house, patted our backs and he was on his way.
Now we hadn't been gone long but Mamma was looking for us. We told her our story (by the way Brenda still had a vice grip on my arm). We got in trouble for taking her salt, after all a box of salt cost 10 cents and money didn't grow on trees she said.
Next time Pappa came for a visit he was told in no uncertain terms to stop lying to her kids. Pappa really thought it was funny but he knew Mamma meant business so he didn't argue with her at all. I'm not sure if he told us any more of his tales but if he did I don't remember any more run-a-ways because of it. Shoot fire, we didn't even catch that rabbit!!!
As I have aged things have changed with me. I no longer dream of the future and all the great things I'm going to achieve. I am happy with the way things are most of the time. My perspective on most things has done a complete turn about.
My resistance to things like, problems, adversities, feelings, indeed my body does not respond to pain the way it always did. My feelings are much more easy to hurt and I'm finding the least thing and I go on a crying pity party. You would think that I'd have developed a shell hard as nails and not petratable by no but no I'm very vulnerable to everything and I detest that.
My Parents taught me to get up dust off my britches and keep on keeping on no matter how far my face was pushed in to the mud. I thought I would always do that and I built a wall between me and things that wanted to harm me. Somewhere or someone along the way tore my wall down and I became weak and mellow as a kitten. My fire is gone it seems. It was such a subtle thing that I didn't notice it. Getting older and losing resilience was kinda like getting fat, someone had to point it out to me.
When I get in this mode and seem to lose my fight all I need to do is start using my ability to go on back there in my child-hood and reminiscence about things. That'll do it every time but because of my slower reflexes it takes me a bit longer now.
My Grandpa (Pappa) Thomas was an honery old cuss and never a bore to be around. He told us many things that were less than the truth just for fun. Mamma didn't like it one bit but we had fun with him. He told us things like a brown cow gives chocolate milk and the moon was made of cheese and we had to have it proved to us that Pappa was just funning with us. When he told us that if we sprinkled salt on a rabbits tail we could catch it he very nearly got everyone in a bunch of trouble.
One day Brenda and I decided we would catch us a pet rabbit by golly and we knew just how to do it. We were afraid Mamma would miss her salt shaker so we just took the box and off we went. It didn't take long to find a rabbit and if you are familiar with their actions you will know that you can walk almost up to the rabbit before it hops away. I think they kind of sniff out what you are up to doing by instinct or they just like to play tag.
Here we went through the pasture chasing that critter with it staying just a bit ahead of us. The salt was flying through the air. We sneaked, it hopped. When we ran out of salt and gave up we started back home. But wait a darn minute here, which way is back? We hadn't been watching where we were going and though things looked familiar we had gone without watching and we didn't know which way was back home. We had gone a whole bunch farther than we ever had before and there was two 6 year old's lost as two gooses in a fox den. As was typical with Brenda she started hanging on to me, ripping my clothes, and we both wet our britches.
"Brenda turn loose of me you are pinching my arm", but she just dug in deeper. I was never quiet as brave as I acted but Brenda brought out something in me that made me dig in my heels. (I need some of that heel digging right now.) I said "Brenda start screaming, maybe they'll hear us". They heard us all right but the one who heard us was the old ragged man who lived in a haunted house way down in the woods by the tracks. Pappa had told us all about him. Sure He Had! and there wasn't a scrap of truth to it. Pappa always said he was gonna toughen us up and between his stories and my protectiveness of Brenda it did toughen me up.
At least when the old man came up to us we had some sense of where we were. "Run Brenda" I hollered. Well heck fire Brenda was holding on to my arm in a death grip and I was dragging her. I stopped abruptly and of course it had a sling shot affect on Brenda. She went flying past me and now she was dragging me. I mean that girl was moving on now. "Brenda, you're going the wrong way, stop". She stopped and this time I was in the sling shot smack dab in to that old man. We all went down. "Well Brenda you done it this time. He's got us now".
Poor old man had the wind knocked out of him but he was trying to laugh. That just scared us worse. He said "You girls get up off me and I'm gonna to take you home". It took some convincing on his part but we finally figured out he was a good old man even if he did stink and live in a shack. Heck his house wasn't haunted either he said. He led us up to where we could see Brenda's house, patted our backs and he was on his way.
Now we hadn't been gone long but Mamma was looking for us. We told her our story (by the way Brenda still had a vice grip on my arm). We got in trouble for taking her salt, after all a box of salt cost 10 cents and money didn't grow on trees she said.
Next time Pappa came for a visit he was told in no uncertain terms to stop lying to her kids. Pappa really thought it was funny but he knew Mamma meant business so he didn't argue with her at all. I'm not sure if he told us any more of his tales but if he did I don't remember any more run-a-ways because of it. Shoot fire, we didn't even catch that rabbit!!!
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