1-5-10...DAD BLAMED BIG TOE
Well by golly I thought I'd lost my touch but today showed me I had not. My touch at being a klutz is what I'm talking about. Good Grief I have been a total disaster today. I guess I should have not gotten up because I sure didn't want to.
During the night I kept bumping my big toe and it was sore as heck. Now what I thought, is my big toe gonna fall off. Well I wouldn't doubt it!! I can't see my toes anymore so there might be a dad blamed leech hangin' on it and I'd never know. When I got up this morning I went stumblin' and shufflin' through the house as usual and stumped my sore toe on something. I'm tellin' you right now I almost let my tongue slip. I was thinking Well I do stump my toes a lot.
I got in the bathroom and sat down on the pot but I couldn't get my foot up so I could see my toe over my belly. In that process I hit it on the vanity cabinet. OUCH! I had to bite my tongue this time. I could just catch a glimpse of that toe. I can get my left leg up a little farther than the right one so why in the heck wasn't it the one that was sore. Good Grief!! I got in every position imaginable but no way. I thought well just forget that. It can't stay sore forever. I started out to the Kitchen to get my first cup of coffee. Now have you ever started to open a door and get your toe under it? I did by golly, and hit my head on that door too. Well if this keeps up the only way I'm going to be able to control my tongue is to cut the dang thing out. That durn toe was sure feelin' funny now I thought. Wonder if the thing is even still there, maybe I ought to shine my flash light around and see if it's laying somewhere. Now I finally figure out that after I turned the bathroom light off I shoulda' turned the flashlight ON, cause Don left his dad blamed shoe in the middle of the floor and you know what happened. If you don't GOOD, I aint gonna tell. Got my coffee and got out to my recliner, took my slippers off, put my recliner up, shined the flashlight on my toe, “OH MY GOSH, That's the ugliest toe I ever saw in my life. The toenail was cracked and jagged, and had been bleeding. I've got a blamed ingrown toenail I do believe. I remembered having them from stumping my toes so much when I was a kid and knew what had to be done. I gotta soak my foot in warm salt water to soften it so somehow I can get that toenail outta my durn toe. I went back in the bathroom, got a plastic pan, fixed up my water, and soused my foot in there. “OwwEe. Couldn't control that flappin' tongue that time, Nope couldn't do it. I soaked it till the water was cooled off, put some cortisone cream in the end of a sock and stashed that foot in the sock. Now I thought that was genius because I couldn't get my foot up high enough to put the cream on the toe. I wore that sock all day and when I took a shower a while ago it didn't seem sore. I put another cortisone packed sock on and I'm gonna sleep in that. Maybe it wasn't an ingrown toenail but just a too often stumped toe. I need to get over to Carol Ann's and get a complete working over any way. She will check my toes then. Till then I gotta quit stumping my toes. YEP!!!
