MAD BANANA CAKE

5-29-10...MAD BANANA CAKE

Did you ever get out of bed mad? I mean rip roarin, teeth gnashing, skin tearin', jaw boxing mad! That was me this very morning. I have no idea why either. Don't remember a dream last night or anything yesterday that might have triggered this. But I was/am Mad. Not angry but mad.
I made my mind up that this was not going to ruin my day. I was going to go about my day as usual and try to be calm and serene. Well that was the first mistake. Get real Clydene, You aint ever calm and serene.
I don't know if I was just looking for something or not but I wouldn't have had to look very far. I discovered that someone I had known and loved and trusted with my very life had betrayed me. Usually I would have been deeply hurt over that but I already had a mad going so why switch in mid stream. Heck Might as well stay mad.
I could always work out a mad by doing something I love doing which is baking. I had some very ripe bananas in the kitchen so I decided a banana nut cake was in order. I do things in stages lately since I can't stand or walk for very long at a time so I started assembling my ingredients, pans, mixer and getting it all set out in order on the kitchen counter. As I was doing this Don came in the kitchen and asked me what I was doing. Irritated me that he would ask when he should be able to see what I was going to do. “I'm cooking”, was my short answer. He said “Well you need to use those banana's before they ruin first. No use in wasting stuff”. HUH?
What!? What did he say? How dare he accuse me of wasting. I was spluttering and almost foaming at the mouth by now and he must have caught on because he said, “Do what you want to do, don't matter to me”. That just added fuel to my fire but I did my best not to grab his skinny little neck and twist it backwards for him.
Don escaped the kitchen in a hurry and sat down in the Dining room right off the kitchen. I sat down in my chair in my room with a cup of coffee and a book because my legs were getting numb which they always do.
OK! I've had my rest and my nice cup of buggered nerves coffee so I'm ready to begin to get the cake mixed and baked. I'm going along great until I start to sit the mixer down to add more flour mixture. I did turn it off first but when I tried to set it down on the counter it started tipping over, I grabbed for it, dropped it again, snatched it up before it fell off the counter and accidentally turned the dang thing on. Oh My God, Good grief. Batter was flying everywhere as the mixer scooted and watusied across the counter top with me in close pursuit. Batter was covering my glasses and I couldn't see so I hollered (might have screeched) “DOOOONNN”. To which he replied, “Quiten down”. WHAT DID HE SAY? Hey Did he tell me to quiten down? Did he really say that when I'm needing help? HOW DARE HE, Why I'll take this bowl in there and pour it right over his head. I didn't do that. I got very calm, You know the calm before the storm. I finally got the mixer stopped and turned off. Got myself and the counter, microwave, toaster, bottom of cabinets, and the floor cleaned up all the time on a slow burn.
I hoped there was enough batter left for the cake. All there was left to put in was the mashed bananas which I proceeded to do. As I was folding the bananas in I was spluttering under my breath. “How dare he I'll show him. Tell ME to quiten down. I'll show him. I'll get that sucker back if it is the last thing I do. I can't believe he had the nerve to tell me to quiten down, Why the very idea.” On and on and on. Once he said, “What'd you say” and that set my mutterings off again.
I smell my cake baking as I write and I'm beginning to calm a bit. Just a tad bit but it will come. Should I let Don eat a piece of cake later? Don't know. Might Might not.

COUNTY FAIR

5-27-10...COUNTY FAIR

I was reading a book today and read something about riding a Ferris wheel. That reminded me of something that I hadn't thought of in years. I don't how I could have forgotten because it scared me so bad I shook.
Our County had a fair and carnival every year in September. My little school took the school bus and some teachers and parents as supervisors and all who wanted to could ride to the Carnival on Friday. It was half price day and was in Ozark not very far from our school. They also took us to the state fair in Little Rock when we were older. Rides were a dime and you could get a hamburger, fries, and coke for 15 cents with half price. Daddy always managed to give me a dollar for the day which seemed a humongous amount to us at the time. I could eat, ride, and maybe something else in a day and boy did I love it. This particular time was my very first time on the Ferris wheel and I was not in very much a hurry to do it. Probably wouldn't have if my friends hadn't been there and most of them didn't know how scared I was of heights. Well little miss brave britches me wasn't about to admit to them that I was afraid of anything
One of my friends and I decided to ride together. Now I knew Pat wasn't afraid so I felt a little more cumfy' with her. I stepped right up and got on that monstrosity like I had done it hundreds of times. Pat didn't even know it was my first time.
When it jerked as it took off my nightmare had begun. Scared the snot outta' me and I screamed. Pat thought I was having fun and excited so she started rocking the seat which was positively against the rules. Well I didn't know nothing about rules but I was petrified. Completely spaced out and undone. When we went around a complete circle the first time I thought 'Wow, this is over. I'm getting' off this thing and I'll never get back on one as long as I live'. Well I guess you know I didn't get off. That thing just kept going and 'Uppp' we went again. I held my breath as we went down again but it stopped half way to let more passengers on. By golly I thought that dang thing was stuck and I was a doomed girl for sure. I was so scared that all I could do was breathe hard and nary a sound came out of my mouth but by golly I was screaming loud in my mind for them to get me off of that thing this instant.
It went on around and this time it stopped when our seat was right on the top. I had gotten on there with cotton candy and Pat had a coke. I was hanging on tight to my cotton candy with one hand and the brace on the seat with the other hand.
When the seat lurched as it took off again I slung my arm out and hit Pats arm. The coke and the cotton candy went flying out over the crowd.
Pat said, “Clydene that stuff hit a man and a lady on the head and they looked up at us. If they see us when we get off we are in trouble”! I was too much in a hurry to get off that thing to be worrying about that so I just ignored Pat.
The next time around it stopped and they let us off. Pat grabbed me by the arm and said , “Come on Clydene we gotta hurry”. Well she sure as heck didn't have to tell me to hurry up cause I was moving on. I don't know if the ones we spilled on saw us or not but Pat was convinced they did. She finally convinced me to and we were both scared the rest of the day that those people were gonna' come get us and do something bad to us. I was so scared that I didn't enjoy the rest of the day.
When we got on the bus to go home that evening one of the girls said that she got sick on the ferris wheel and threw up on a lady down below.
When all was said and done we had no idea if it was the same lady we had spilled our stuff on but I'll bet the lady knew. I know I would rather have cotton candy and coke come down on me that a glop of puke!!! YUKKY!

A SMILE

5-21-10...A SMILE, HUG, GIGGLE, BACK PAT, FRIEND

Every body has a smile. Some use it until they have wrinkles around their eyes. Some use it less often than others. I hate to say it but I know some who I just don't think they ever use their smile.
A smile doesn't cost a cent. You can give it away all day and have plenty more left over.
There is no one no matter how mighty or how rich that doesn't benefit from a smile.
No one can steal it or borrow it from you but if you give them one you have enriched their life beyond measure. Money can't buy one, power can't take one away but I can give millions away and never be the poorer for it. I might even heal a heart, dry a tear, or comfort a grieving soul with one quick smile. I know this is true because I've had many smiles given to me at just the right time to lift my spirits and make my heart soar!!! There was a time in my life that if someone had just smiled at me I know I'd have felt so much better.
Another thing that we all need is hugs. Nothing more therapeutic than to be down in the dumps , sad, or hurting emotionally, and have someone give you a big warm bear hug. I am a touching, hugging person. I have to be careful because I have ran across some people who don't like to be touched or hugged. All I can say is if you don't wanna be hugged stay outta' my way cause I can't help myself. Not very long ago I encountered a lady in the grocery store who I had gone to school with. I hadn't seen her in a very long time. I walked up to her with my arms wide open meaning to give her a big ol' hug and she dodged me big time. I mean to tell you she took off in the other way fast acting like she didn't see me. It took me a few minutes to figure it out but that lady didn't want a hug and she certainly DID' see me. I followed her all over the store trying to at least talk to her a bit. Finally I said, “Well forget it then. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole”. Good grief! I don't understand that at all. Especially since we used to be good friends.
Everyone needs a pat on the back now and then too and it don't hurt me a bit to do it. Heck a pat on the back doesn't even have to be a touch of any kind. You can tell someone they did a good job, they look nice, or sometimes they just need someone to say, It's Ok, It'll be fine, or just, Hang in there, I'm here for you. It only takes a few words to make someone's day better.
Now something that is good for us all is a good giggle or a full blown belly laugh. One of those tear falling ones that opens up and pours out all the pain, or fear. A good laugh washes all the gross stuff out of your mind and cleanses you all over. I love to laugh and I love it when I can help someone else laugh. That is another thing I missed for years.
I had a dog (Bo Jangles) for 16 years who was my life line almost. He loved me unconditionally. I used to cry a lot. Bo Jangles would get in my lap, look me in the eyes, and cry with me. He even licked the tears from my cheeks. Everyone needs someone or some thing like that. No one can make it in this old wicked world without, A Smile, A Hug, a pat on the back, A good Belly Laugh , and a Friend now and then and I plan to give as many of these out as I possibly can. So Honey Don't get around me if you don't want any of these things. OK?

A QUESTION OF THE MIND

5-20-10...QUESTION OF THE MIND

I'm sitting here this morning pondering on several things. First and foremost is,,, Are you ready for this? Where in the heck did my mind go? Good Grief, somewhere along the way my mind got loose and stayed behind. I know I didn't intentionally lose my mind it just happened. I was going along happy as a Mississippi squirrel minding my own business and somehow left a vital part of my anatomy by the wayside.
It took me a spell to even miss it too. I mean my goodness why would you miss something you didn't ever use, It was old and all rusted out anyway wasn't it?
I probably should have suspected something was amiss when I found my toothpaste in the freezer. Or even when I found my gallon of milk in the cabinets (finally). But I just toodled on about my business like I was Einstein or somebody, blissfully ignorant of my problem.
Every time I'd go in to another room to do something and forget what I went after I just thought, Oh Well It probably wasn't important anyway, What the Heck!
Then there was the day I had an appointment to get a haircut and came to my senses about the time I was getting out of the car at Moses' groomers I started wondering a tad bit.
But when I got out of bed one morning at three AM and proceeded to call my Aunt and wake her up because I thought it was three PM, Well, Then I kinda' sorta' got a clue that something was not right. YEP! Sumpthin' is definitely going on here. And Her asking me “Clydene Where is your mind” finally let the cat outta' the bag. My mind seems to be shrunk up a bit. Or could it be that I might find it someday like I did my toothpaste and milk? Nawww, I think that sucker is gone for good but that's OK, Now I don't have to worry about using it. What a relief!!!!

MUD PIES

5-18-10...MAKING PIES

Brenda and I made lots and lots of mud pies. There was a perfectly delicious spot for this under the edge of the porch at Brenda's house. There was room enough for us to sit there cross legged as long as we desired. We made all kinds of pies in all kinds of molds. And yep we ate parts of what we cooked and were very indignant at those who didn't appreciate our efforts. We didn't need to wait for rain to make mud we made our own and we used all kinds of flavors. Milk was a good one it made a creamy kind of caramel color and didn't taste bad either. Auntie knew we were under there playing in the dirt but it took her a while to figure out that we were snitching ingredients and molds from her kitchen and making pie. Of course she “DID” find out in due time.

Someone milked their Cow Pet every morning and evening when she was fresh. The milk would be covered and left on the screened back porch until Auntie got around to straining it and putting it into gallon jars. We usually got at the milk in the evenings before Auntie took care of it.

This one time we got some and decided we didn't have enough so we went back for more. We already had mud on our hands. Trouble was Auntie already had it in jars and sitting in the Ice box. Well that made it harder but we were not thinking along those lines. We had to get a chair to get to the jars. Of course we couldn't get the jar open but we left mud evidence.

We got back under the house and got to thinking about the mud on the jar and decided we'd better get ourselves back in there and clean that off the jar before Auntie came in from the garden and discovered it. Back in there we went bent on covering our tracks. When we got there we discovered the mess was worse that we had thought. I mean to tell you mud was everywhere from the door to the jars and everywhere in between. Of course we were not thinking too clear or we would have washed our hands before attempting to clean. Good Grief!! We got a dishrag and started swiping around and were just making a bigger mess so we stood back and discussed it for a while.

I said, “Brenda what we have to do is take them jars out of there so we can clean them before we put em' back”. She agreed with me and here we went. Now let me tell you those gallon jars were a lot more than we could handle. I can't remember our age but we were not very big I do know that.

Brenda got up in a chair and proceeded to hand the jars down to me. I reached up and she kinda' pushed the jar out. It hit right about my belly and down I went with Brenda right behind the jar. I had all the wind knocked out of me and was rendered as helpless as a kitten. I suspect Brenda was in almost the same shape cause' she wasn't doing anything but sorta snubbing. When Brenda and the jar rolled off me of course now the lid came off easy. Might have saved us a little bit of trouble if we could have gotten the lid off before.

Well I guess you know that was when Auntie came on the scene. There we were wallowing in milk and mud on the floor too winded to even defend ourselves and there she was standing in the door with pins and needles shootin' outta' her eyes. Oh my goodness were we in trouble now. We knew it but we couldn't even get up and run.

I don't remember the clean up at all but I suspect we didn't do it. What I do remember is the butt whackin' and the cleaning up of us. I'll tell you for sure that part wasn't very pleasant. Nope not pleasant at all!!!!!

BERTHA MAY HENRY DALTON PAGE

5-10-10...BERTHA MAY HENRY DALTON PAGE

Every family has at least one Aunt Bertha and every family has a bossy lady who tries to be the head of everything. My Great Aunt Bertha was both!
Aunt Bertha was married two times and never had any kids. Her first husband was Bob Dalton. If you are familiar with the Outlaw gang the Dalton Brothers he was the son of one of them. His picture is below along with Aunt Bertha. Also Aunt Bertha sitting on his car when they were dating. Aint she a sight?! at the time on his car. She was married very young to him then she married Bob Page (Yep another Bob) and he died after only 6 years. She lived the rest of her life alone and it couldn't have been easy then but she worked and bought her own home. If it needed repairs she did it. Roof or whatever it was. The house is still here in the town of Mulberry but it certainly doesn't look like it did then.
You talk about feisty, Good Grief That don't begin to describe Aunt Bertha. A dare devil in her younger years, a holy terror in her later years. Not rude or brash just straight and to the point. Don't try any nonsense with my Aunt Bertha cause' she'd get you fast.
Aunt Bertha was my Grandma's sister and thought she was the only one in the family who had enough sense to make any kind of intelligent decision. She bought a whole set of Dr's books used in their schooling at that time and by golly she thought she was a Dr and knew more than any Dr of that time. To tell the truth she did know more than some of them.
She was a little 5 ft. lady that weighed 90 lbs soaking wet but man was she wired and loaded for bear.
There was a loving gentle side to Aunt Bertha as well and that is the side I saw most often. She'd work cutting spinach or picking cotton all day and always gave us a nickle out of her earnings. She bought material and sent it to my grandma so grandma could make my Mamma and her two sisters a dress to wear to school. They didn't have a dress at the time and were wearing a bloomer type thing that grandma made out of a toe sack.
Aunt Bertha is the one who named me when I was born. I told her often that she could have chosen a prettier name. TEE HEE
As you see in the photo she had curly and unruly hair like mine. My Grandma always said I looked like Aunt Bertha and my Daddy said I acted like her sometimes. HMMMM! Guess I got a lot from my Aunt Bertha. HUH?

LEARNING IS HARD

5-9-10...LEARNING CAN BE HARD

We learn by, seeing, doing, hearing, watching, listening, etc.
We grow by what we learn, what we are taught, by example of those around us who are wise, and most of all by experience. We survive on grit, determination, trying, and never giving up. We face our heartaches, hardships, disappointments, adversities, enemies, and downfalls. We get up, dust our britches and go on no matter what because if we don't someone will most certainly kick us while we are down. Even if that does happen and we are beaten down we don't have to stay down unless we choose to. We keep going, pushing, and facing problems and get up every time we are down. I know all this, I was taught all this, and I put all this in practice all my life. But I am tired today and don't want to face any of it so I chose not to. Like I said it is our choice and there is no way we can stay on top all the time.
Today I sit and feel so sorry for myself that I am ashamed. I can't face things or people today even if I hurt their feelings. I just absolutely can not. Does that mean that tomorrow will be the same way? I can't really answer that right now but I'm hoping that it will not. I will strive for a better day tomorrow when today is gone and just a bad memory because I don't choose to dwell on bad memories. I know they will come creeping in again sometimes when my defenses are down but tomorrow I intend to laugh at my foolishness. Tomorrow I intend to raise my face to the first light and say, “Watch out world. Clydene is back”!

STILL KICKING

5-3-10...I'M STILL HERE

I don't like getting my bubble burst in my face but it does happen. Too often it seems. How come you can go along on your merry way and one word, look, or thought can just blind side you?

One day just a few years back I was riding in the back seat of a car which I very seldom do. In fact I will not do if I can help it because I get nauseous. I was dressed to the nines, my face all made up, my hair fixed with not a hair out of place (which is a rare thing). I happened to look in to the mirror on the windshield of the car. Lordee Mercy sakes alive something is wrong with that mirror. Has to be because I definitely don't have all those wrinkles and all that gray hair. Nope, somebody scratched that mirror. YEP! That's what happened by golly. Now guys I was really convinced the mirror was scratched. Enough so that I asked the driver why in the heck was that mirror all scratched up like that. Yep sure did! Of course she informed me the mirror was perfectly OK not a scratch on it. I asked everyone in the car if they could see the scratches. Nope, nary a one saw them.

I was flabbergasted, upset, and completely disillusioned. I absolutely did not realize all those flaws existed till the bright sunshine shone on my face and I looked in to a perfect mirror. It has taken a little bit of getting used to and it really bothered me for a time.

One day I was getting ready to go somewhere and of course I don't go out without looking the best I can. I stopped and thought, well heck fire I'm being stupid. The same person lives behind all those wrinkles, gray hair, and stooped and hurting body. I'm still me at 65 same as I was at 20. I still have dreams, hopes, and thoughts of going to Ireland, Holland, and France just like I had when I was 25. I still have the same heart beating inside me even though it is slowing me down a bit now. I can still love, laugh, and live same as I did as a teen. I'm still me and all these wrinkles are mostly laugh lines. My body is like an antique, old but more valuable now with all the wisdom from years of learning and doing. Hey World! Look out I'm still here. I still have fire in this ol' furnace. YEP!!!!