11-11-10...SHE WAS SLOW
If you think you know someone who is slow, You would probably think again if you knew Brenda. OH MY GOSH! was that girl slooooowwwww! Still is. I was always early and I still like to be. All through our school years somehow I got appointed to make sure Brenda was ready and on the school bus. Well my Friends that was an almost impossible task. If we were at the same house it was somewhat easier but still a hard task. When we were at separate houses!!!! Now that was when the trouble came out and grabbed me in the throat. We had to walk up to the corner, turn right and walk to the next corner. Thats where the bus stopped. I'd start up our lane and here would be Brenda, out on her porch in all stages of dress. CLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE, hold the bus for me!!!! OOOKKKAAAYYY but hurry up Brenda, I'm gettin' tired of this!! It was the same every morning. Our poor driver was always so patient and waited on her. I know he didn't want to really, made us late for school sometimes. Besides the other kids started griping. I was getting embarrassed myself and had just about had enough of it. One evening I said Now Brenda you better be there in the morning. I'm not a'gonna tell Hollie to wait. Yes you will, You better Clydene. I'm tellin' you I aint gonna do it. We'll just go on and leave you. I guess she didn't believe I'd do it cause of course she did the same thing the next morning. Out on the porch half dressed hollering, CCCLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE! Tell Hollie I'll be there in a minute. Well durn her I had got my can plumb full of this and I wasn't gonna do it this time. I'm tired of this stuff, Yep tired of it. I got to thinking though, Now, If Brenda misses the bus she'll get to stay home and I'll have to go to school. Heck fire I'm not a goin' to school and her staying here havin' fun without me. Of course she wouldnta had much fun cause she'd a got in trouble but I wasn't thinking that way. Brenda, you better come on now. I ainta gonna do it today. I see it comin' come on right now, I mean it Brenda, you better come on. I'll wait right here for you, now come on Brenda!!! Well folks she got the point finally and decided I meant what I said so she ran back in grabbed her book satchel and here she came a runnin'. Hurry Brenda!! I'm a hurrin' Clydene, wait a minute. Well she came on all right. Yep she came on. HALF DRESSED!!! There she was in all her glory. Socks, no shoes, slip and sweater, no skirt, sweater on backwards. Oh My Gosh Brenda, you can't go like that! You're not dressed. Oh my Oh My what are we a'gonna do! Brenda I should box your jaws red, that just what i outta do!! Just then we heard the bus honk three times and pull out. We looked up and there that big ol' yellow thing went likety split up the road. There we stood. What'll we do Clydene. Well Brenda how in the heck do ya think I know! I guess we'll just have to stay right here all day. Then when the bus gets here this evening we'll just go on home. Nobody'll ever know. RIGHT?? WRONG!! My Mama heard the bus honking, and knew I didn't get on it. I don't know how she knew that cause she sure couldn't see up there from our house. Come to think of it, I'm still not real sure how she knew, but she knew all right. Yep she knew all right. She bundled my Brother up and here she came up the road. Brenda lets hide! Where would we hide Clydene? Sides I don't wanna. I'm cold. Well Brenda you shouda thought of that when you come up here half nekked' I'm not necked' Clydene, You shut up before I slap your jaws. You sure better not try it by golly I'll throw you in that ditch. No you won't. Yes I will! By then my Mama was there and the jig was up! Oh my gosh was it ever up. Mama was upset, my baby brother was a cryin' and Brenda was even bellerin like an ol' donkey by then. I don't know what you girls think your'a doin' Mama said, but you both get your tails down that road and you do it now. " BUT MAMA" No buts get going. Which we did. You are both gonna get your butts busted good when we get there. WHICH WE DID!! Yep we sure nuff did. Now do you think that all resulted in Brenda turning over a new leaf and gettin there on time? Shoot fire No! She was never on time and never will be. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!! DURN YOU BRENDA. I STILL OUTTA BOX YOUR JAWS RED!!! YEP I SURE SHOULD! But I wont!!!
