5-29-09...INCIDENTS WORTH REMEMBERING
There are things in our life that we just really don't want to remember. Other things we wish we could remember but somehow have forgotten. Now those things I strive to remember. Some of them I have bits and pieces of them stored somewhere in my mind but just can't seem to bring it all up into proper focus, leaving me wanting more than I can get. That is the way our minds work. It can be frustrating. But then out of the blue someone says something, maybe you get a familiar smell, sometimes a dream, see a color, or see a person from your past and here it all comes flooding into your mind like an instant replay of the event.
I was remembering several things recently after talking with Brenda. One morning it was very cold. I had spent the night at Brenda's. Her Brother Paul was probably about five then. We were gathered around the little heater in the front room. Brenda and I were getting ready for school and Paul was there. We were sitting in front of the fire getting our shoes and socks on and Brenda's cat was there rubbing against us being a nuisance. Paul reached over out of the blue and got hold of the cats tail and proceeded to stick it in the stove. Oh My Heavens what a catastrophe that was!!! That poor cats tail of course caught fire. It screeched and started jumping up. On the way up it's claws were out and we all got some minor scratches. We were lucky we didn't get major damage to our bodies but by The Will Of God we were protected . What happened then was not so lucky though. That poor cat jumped straight up and caught hold of the wall about five feet off the floor. It was running around up there and got the wall paper on fire. Of course we were screaming bloody murder at Paul for doing such a mean thing to that cat. Well heck fire he was five. A five year old doesn't really understand the scope of what was happening and he was watching the cat who was trying to walk on the ceiling by that time. Auntie came out of the kitchen to see what the heck was going on. She ran back and got a bucket of water and tried to throw it up where the paper was on fire. That didn't make much headway all that did was wet us all down so she yelled for one of us to get a broom which one of us did. First she beat out the small area of the wall paper. The cats tail was no longer burning just smoldering and stinking to high heaven. Auntie put the broom up and stuck in at the cats hind legs hoping to get it on the broom. The cat turned around and attacked the broom and she hollered, “Get in the kitchen all of you”, which we quickly did. She brought the broom down slowly and was going to try and check him out but he was having none of that. The cat took off to the kitchen and Auntie hollered “OPEN THE BACK DOOR FAST”. We opened the door. The cat skidded by us and out the door.
Paul got a tanning and Brenda and I got a holiday from school because we missed the bus. No one to take us so that was that.
Later that morning the cat came back to the house and Auntie put something on it's poor tail. Oh My Gosh! Is there any end to what a young mischievous kid can get their selves in to? NOPE! Guess not.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
GRAVITY
5-15-09...GRAVITY
I guess gravity is a great thing in most instances but when it comes to my body I don't much like it.
It starts slowly. So slow that you never even see it. It creeps up on you like a bad seed. It grows until it completely covers your whole body and wraps around like a clinging vine. If you know about vines some of them are beautiful but you have to keep them controlled and tamed down lest they take over like a brier patch.
Well I sure didn't keep my vine controlled on my body. All at once I looked in the mirror one day and there I was in all my glory completely consumed in a vine of gravity. The first time I recognized this gravity vine I was overwhelmed so badly that I tried to ignore it. Ignoring was not an option I found out. Once you know something is there and realize there is not a cotton-pickin' thing you can do about it it just lurks close to you and shows it's ugly side constantly. Like a blood sucking leech it takes hold and pulls everywhere until the dropping and sagging starts.
Your chin drops down to your neck. The skin under your arms drop down and flop around like jello. A ladies breast drops down around her naval. Her stomach drops down on her thighs. Knees drop down to the shin. Now your face drags around like silly putty and flops around. Belly laughter is no longer possible it is now more like whole body shaking as you laugh. No matter how big or small, fat or thin you are it will be the same. Your gravity has quit working. Everything is just giving away and dropping and there aint' a thing you can do about it unless you go under the knife and come out looking like a bug eyed praying mantis. No thank you, buggy eyed people scare the heck outta' me. I keep my nose in the air now so the 4 chins don't show. Heck even my eyelids are drooping down and I was told I needed to get something done before they drop down over my eyes. Really true. Well heck I don't want anything cut on that hurts so as long as I can see no thanks. No way no how. I'll just learn to like what I see in the mirror and if someone don't like it they have the option to look the other way. Their snooty eyes are probably bugged anyway and I don't wanna' look at them either. Nope!!!!!
I guess gravity is a great thing in most instances but when it comes to my body I don't much like it.
It starts slowly. So slow that you never even see it. It creeps up on you like a bad seed. It grows until it completely covers your whole body and wraps around like a clinging vine. If you know about vines some of them are beautiful but you have to keep them controlled and tamed down lest they take over like a brier patch.
Well I sure didn't keep my vine controlled on my body. All at once I looked in the mirror one day and there I was in all my glory completely consumed in a vine of gravity. The first time I recognized this gravity vine I was overwhelmed so badly that I tried to ignore it. Ignoring was not an option I found out. Once you know something is there and realize there is not a cotton-pickin' thing you can do about it it just lurks close to you and shows it's ugly side constantly. Like a blood sucking leech it takes hold and pulls everywhere until the dropping and sagging starts.
Your chin drops down to your neck. The skin under your arms drop down and flop around like jello. A ladies breast drops down around her naval. Her stomach drops down on her thighs. Knees drop down to the shin. Now your face drags around like silly putty and flops around. Belly laughter is no longer possible it is now more like whole body shaking as you laugh. No matter how big or small, fat or thin you are it will be the same. Your gravity has quit working. Everything is just giving away and dropping and there aint' a thing you can do about it unless you go under the knife and come out looking like a bug eyed praying mantis. No thank you, buggy eyed people scare the heck outta' me. I keep my nose in the air now so the 4 chins don't show. Heck even my eyelids are drooping down and I was told I needed to get something done before they drop down over my eyes. Really true. Well heck I don't want anything cut on that hurts so as long as I can see no thanks. No way no how. I'll just learn to like what I see in the mirror and if someone don't like it they have the option to look the other way. Their snooty eyes are probably bugged anyway and I don't wanna' look at them either. Nope!!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A SAD DAY
5-11-09...A SAD DAY
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
MOVING WITH DADDY
5-9-09...MOVING WITH DADDY
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
ABOUT MY BLOGS
5-5-09...ABOUT MY BLOGS
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
LITTLE LOST BIRD
5-4-09...LITTLE LOST BIRD
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
5-2-09...DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
5-2-09...HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
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