9-15-09...ADVENTURE OF THE MONTH
Almost a week ago I received a shot in my spine to relieve some pain. Lord Have Mercy was that an event I don't care to repeat anytime soon. I had one nine years ago and somehow I guess I had forgotten all the little different parts of it. I kinda' recon' that could be cause' I'm nine years older. Only one thing wrong with that scenario. Aint' ya' sposed' to learn more as you go? I can't remember the first one being such an ordeal. Go Figure that out if you can and get back to me on it. I'm all ears.
As I sat in the waiting room at the Drs. Office I was watching other people trying to find one to converse with. The door opened from the outside and in came feet with chains, arms with chains and orange coverall suits. Three of them came in with their chains jingling sounding like a horror movie. Behind them came this big burly rough looking sheriff's deputy. I knew him slightly and felt somewhat safe but kept wondering how in the world he was going to handle all those mean looking men by himself.
I was sitting on the right side of the room and wouldn't ya' know I was facing toward four empty chairs. Get the picture? Of course the three chain gangers and the Deputy sat their selves right in front of me. Oh My Goodness! Now I'm even more uncomfortable that I was before. The orange suit right across from me boldly looked at me and smirked. Scared the poop outta' me I'm tellin' you for a fact. I knew just one thing for sure. I had to move myself outta' the line of their eyes and I had to do it quick. I looked around and there was one empty chair in the room. It was beside a little boy who had ants in his pants and couldn't sit still. I figured if I moved there he would kick me silly the way he was squirming.
Thank goodness I was called in to see the Dr and got out of there.
When the nurse took me in to “Set Me Up” for the shot I was relieved and anxious at the same time. I looked over at the table where things were ready for the DR. and saw the needle that I knew was to be used on me. Good Grief I thought. That thing is going to come out somewhere about my eyeballs.
Now I looked at the place where I was to lie down on my stomach. A long stretcher like thing with two thick pillows stacked on each other in the middle. I thought I remembered the shot nine years ago but I was now beginning to realize I didn't remember a thing.
I love the Nurse who was assisting me. She has been in the office since my first time there 12 years ago. She said, pull your blouse up under your bra in the back, pull your pants down to a butt crack pose. Meaning make sure the crack of your butt is slightly showing. I thought , well at least the whole thing wont be stickin' out. I giggled and just hoped I wouldn't go in to a giggle fit and hold the procedure up. I got on my stomach and placed my belly on the pillows. I can imagine what that must have looked like. My butt up in the air and my arms dangling off the side, my cheek pressed in to the sheet on the gurney. Can You See It?
Dr came in and said are you OK? Yep! Came out squeaky because how the heck you gonna' breathe mashed down and bent the way I was. Are You ready? Yep! There will be a stick. OK. The first stick was to numb the skin a little before that big sword was used. The second one felt like it was scraping my bones but it was over quickly. Dr left the room and nurse helped me get up. I was a little dizzy and it felt like my lower back was on fire but I was OK. She had me sit for a few minutes, gave me some instructions and I was ready to be on my way.
Now, Remember that chain gang out in the waiting room? Only one of them was still there. He was sitting right beside the door going out. Another Deputy was standing at the door. I had to walk close to the convict to go out but the Deputy got up and opened the door for me. Would you believe, I stepped on the orange suits foot ? Yep I sure did. I almost peed my pants. I said I'm sorry and I got outta there as fast as my legs would carry me which here lately is a snails pace. So Folks that's my big adventure of the month. Wonder what I can do to top that?????
