Wednesday, December 23, 2009

WATCH YOUR TONGUE FOR BUMPS

12-23-09...WATCH YOUR TONGUE

Grandma had a lot of little pearls of wisdom that she shared with me whether I wanted them or not. Mostly not!
She would say,”It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor one”. Or “If you swallow vinegar you'll spew out honey”. HUH?
“Watch out your face is liable to freeze that way”. “When you have a bump on the end of your tongue that means you've told a lie”. Now that one gave me cause for worry. When I would actually get a bump on my tongue I'd start trying to figure out what lie I had told. I figured I was caught for sure.
My Parents seemed to be able to see through me. I could never hide a thing from them. But Boy Howdy did I try sometimes. Seemed I was an expert at getting in to something and getting my “tail in a spin” (another of Grandma's sayings.)
One day I guess I didn't have anything better to do so I decided to get in to something. I had to think on it for a spell but I came up with something. I was going to hide something from my Mamma and have fun when she missed it. But What could I hide? Let's see, Hmm?
I decided her hand mirror was the thing she would be looking for. I took the mirror off her dresser and ran in my bedroom to find a spot to hide it. I put the mirror under my mattress and went about my business. Later I guess I had forgotten all about it because I sat down on the side of my bed and heard, snap, crackle, pop. There was no such thing as that cereal that did that then so I knew it was Mamma's mirror Oh My Gosh, Oh My Goodness, What am I gonna' do now. I'm in big trouble this time. My little joke had gotten out of hand fast. YEP!! I thought I would take the mirror back and put it on Mamma's dresser and just act like I didn't know a thing about it. Well it was broken worse than I thought it was so when I picked it out from under the mattress glass flew in all directions. I cut my finger on a piece, stepped on a piece and cut my foot. I took what was left and did succeed in laying it out on the dresser, and I got out of there fast. I never thought about the blood I was leaving behind. Well Mamma saw that blood before she saw the mirror. ( I THOUGHT SHE DID). “Clydene how did you cut yourself?” “Heck I don't know Mamma, musta, stepped on some glass”. “Well if that's the case then you had it in your hand because it is cut too.” “Yep, That must be what happened all right”. “Well Clydene, was it the mirror on my dresser that you cut yourself on”. “Heck no Mamma, I never touched that old mirror. I don't know how it got broke”. “How did you know the mirror was broke Clydene”? Well for Heavens sake, How in the world did she do that? She had me backed in to a corner with no escape. Now I swear guys, That darn bump wasn't on the end of my tongue before. But There that sucker was now as big as you please ready to tell on me. The jig was up, my butt was on fire, and I was sooo mad at Grandma for thinking up that bump thing in the first place. Good Grief. Can't do nothing without everyone knowing it around here!!! Heck Fire anyway. YEP!!!

DOWN BUT NOT OUT

12-23-09...DOWN BUT NOT OUT

I wrote this for a couple of teenagers whom I had the bad luck of running in to in Wal Mart one day only about three months ago. My mind is slow and I had forgotten this until I saw a show on TV about out of control teens this morning.

DOWN BUT NOT OUT

I'm sixty five, I'm over the Hill.
I've lived a lot, got more to go still.
I'm made from good stock, been there done that.
When it comes to life, I know bout' that.
So young person, when you look at me
you see wrinkles, it's laugh lines to me.
I may sag and bag here and there,
and aches and pains I've had my share.
My eyes are bad but I can still see,
just exactly what you think of me.
When I'm in a line ahead of you,
I hear your sighs when I'm slow to get through.
I see you young man when you roll your eyes,
I know what you're thinking, cause you see I'm wise.
My shoulders may be stooped , I may puff and groan.
My steps may shuffle as I go along.
As you go through life at your fast pace my dears,
Never knowing me, never seeing my tears.
You might break my heart but you can't break my will.
I've been here a while, will be a while still.

Clydene Thomas Overbey
12/23/09

DON'T LOOK DOWN YOUR NOSE

12-22-09...DON'T LOOK DOWN YOUR NOSE

“I might look crazy but I aint no fool.” That was a line I had in our Junior play. That just reminds me of how someone can get too big for their britches fast. It never ceases to amaze me the self worth some people can put on their selves. Daddy used to say their noses were so high in the air that they would drown if it rained.
When I moved to Idaho I got a job as Food Service supervisor in a Nursing home. I had the credentials, I had the diploma, I had everything except the right home state. My accent was a source of humor to them. I had to learn what they ate in that place before I could write the Menues. One Big headed nurse set out right away to throw me off. She didn't want to have to cooperate with me because she thought I was a stupid hillbilly with beans for a brain.
She just couldn't get used to me being in charge of the kitchen and having authority over her in Food Service. She was always trying to get me in a tight that I couldn't get out of. No Way Sister you've messed with the wrong one now. I caught her holding an old ladies nose one day to make her swallow her food. I said, “Betty you could strangle her to death doing that.” She looked at me and said, “Why don't you go back to Arkansas where you belong”. Now guys My head steamed up till I thought it would pop. It wasn't what she said that had me disturbed, but what she was doing. I was not going to let her strangle an old woman to death. I said, “Betty if you don't take your hands off that lady I'll take it off”. She paid no attention to me. I'm so glad that someone else had gone to get the supervisor and she showed up right then because I would have taken her away from that lady or have died trying. She was fired on the spot. I was not proud of myself or happy that Betty lost her job but it just goes to show you that the mightiest always fall the hardest.
I don't mind someone laughing with me. But when some big nosed bitty starts making fun of me and laughing at me I don't like it. And isn't it just the way of things. She was trying to get rid of me because she thought I was stupid and she was the one who had to go. YEP!!!

THEY OUTTA BE ASHAMED

12-22-09...THEY OUTTA BE ASHAMED!!!

I was in a store a while back and saw something that I never would have seen in my time. There was this Mother with her two kids. The Mother looked like she was about ready to pull her hair out. She was not dressed in the finest but her two teenage daughters were. What made me want to pull some of their hair out was the way those smart elec girls were treating their little Mother.
In the first place they were ashamed of their Mother and they let her, and everyone else around them, know it. Every time she said something to them they would roll their painted eyes and look at her like she didn't have a lick of sense. They were correcting her grammar and giggling about it.
There was something they wanted to buy and each wanted one. The Mother didn't have the foggiest idea what the thing was. (I didn't either) She was trying to tell them that they could get one and share because she couldn't afford two of them. She was near tears and they were tearing in to her like snakes with their venomous words. “ Oh My God I hate having an old lady like you for a mother.” “You don't know anything”, “No wonder Daddy left you”. “I hate you”. Are just a few of the things they were saying.
I hurried around to the next aisle to escape this but I could still hear them. I was thinking, If that poor lady don't box them up aside their heads I'm just tempted to do it for her so I'd better just get on out of here before I wind up in jail.
There were others who were just as aggravated as I was but we were helpless to do anything.
A lady standing beside me said “That's abuse of an older person if I've ever seen it”. I said “I know it and I think I'll just call a cop and see what they think about. I wasn't going to do that of course but I wanted to shut those girls up and give that lady a break. One of the girls said, “If you don't do what I want I'm leaving and you wont see me again”, “ME Too” the other one said. Just when I thought I couldn't hold it back anymore and I was gonna' box them both into next week**** POP POP. That little old lady slapped the heck out of those two right there in the store. Then she very calmly said, “Bye girls, I'll miss you”. Whooppee!! I started clapping my hands and a bunch of others did too. We started giggling and the table was turned on those two. They were following behind their Mother like two little puppies with their tails between their legs. Sometimes good does win out over evil by golly.