WATCH YOUR TONGUE FOR BUMPS

12-23-09...WATCH YOUR TONGUE

Grandma had a lot of little pearls of wisdom that she shared with me whether I wanted them or not. Mostly not!
She would say,”It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor one”. Or “If you swallow vinegar you'll spew out honey”. HUH?
“Watch out your face is liable to freeze that way”. “When you have a bump on the end of your tongue that means you've told a lie”. Now that one gave me cause for worry. When I would actually get a bump on my tongue I'd start trying to figure out what lie I had told. I figured I was caught for sure.
My Parents seemed to be able to see through me. I could never hide a thing from them. But Boy Howdy did I try sometimes. Seemed I was an expert at getting in to something and getting my “tail in a spin” (another of Grandma's sayings.)
One day I guess I didn't have anything better to do so I decided to get in to something. I had to think on it for a spell but I came up with something. I was going to hide something from my Mamma and have fun when she missed it. But What could I hide? Let's see, Hmm?
I decided her hand mirror was the thing she would be looking for. I took the mirror off her dresser and ran in my bedroom to find a spot to hide it. I put the mirror under my mattress and went about my business. Later I guess I had forgotten all about it because I sat down on the side of my bed and heard, snap, crackle, pop. There was no such thing as that cereal that did that then so I knew it was Mamma's mirror Oh My Gosh, Oh My Goodness, What am I gonna' do now. I'm in big trouble this time. My little joke had gotten out of hand fast. YEP!! I thought I would take the mirror back and put it on Mamma's dresser and just act like I didn't know a thing about it. Well it was broken worse than I thought it was so when I picked it out from under the mattress glass flew in all directions. I cut my finger on a piece, stepped on a piece and cut my foot. I took what was left and did succeed in laying it out on the dresser, and I got out of there fast. I never thought about the blood I was leaving behind. Well Mamma saw that blood before she saw the mirror. ( I THOUGHT SHE DID). “Clydene how did you cut yourself?” “Heck I don't know Mamma, musta, stepped on some glass”. “Well if that's the case then you had it in your hand because it is cut too.” “Yep, That must be what happened all right”. “Well Clydene, was it the mirror on my dresser that you cut yourself on”. “Heck no Mamma, I never touched that old mirror. I don't know how it got broke”. “How did you know the mirror was broke Clydene”? Well for Heavens sake, How in the world did she do that? She had me backed in to a corner with no escape. Now I swear guys, That darn bump wasn't on the end of my tongue before. But There that sucker was now as big as you please ready to tell on me. The jig was up, my butt was on fire, and I was sooo mad at Grandma for thinking up that bump thing in the first place. Good Grief. Can't do nothing without everyone knowing it around here!!! Heck Fire anyway. YEP!!!