FEELINGS (What Are They

2-25-09...FEELINGS (What Are They)

I remember once when I was very young I had been kinda puny. One day Mama said "How are you feeling Clydene". "What's feeling Mama", I asked. Well Mama explained the three basics for a five yr. Old to understand. Touching a smoothe rock and feeling its cool surface. If I see a frog there is the fearful feeling. And like then I was feeling sick. Mama wanted to know if I was better and I supposed I was. I really didn't understand the whole concept of feelings then but through the rest of my life I have learned a lot more about feelings. I looked up feelings in the Websters dictionary and their definitions were just vague things. Nothing concise or to the point so I'll just tell you my views on feelings from what life has taught me.
Happiness is a feeling of the heart to me. In a child happiness will make them skip and run and giggle. Since I'm older happiness is a secure feeling. An inner Peace when everything seems right. The other side of happiness is sorrow to me. Sorrow like you feel when you lose a loved one or when you see someone that you love being hurt Sorrow will kill you if you stay in its depths. Sorrow is also a feeling you have for yourself sometimes which also will kill your spirit and put you down. Not the place to stay very long.
Security was a feeling I had in Childhood when Norman and I were safely tucked in bed and I would lay awake and listen to my Parents as they talked in the front room or kitchen. Could never really hear what they were saying but I would lay and go to sleep listening to that gentle buzz of my Parents. Same in the mornings as I awakened to hear sounds of my Mama singing as she cooked breakfast. Daddy would come in and tell Norman and I it was time to get up. Rise and shine. Norman would jump right out of his bed but it would take Daddy at least three times to get me up.
Resentment and hatred are also feelings I experienced at one time or another. To be very truthful many times over the years. Normal feelings at moments. It is what you do with those feelings that counts.
Love is the most difficult feeling to define. There are so very many kinds of love. Your first love, love of parents, family, friends. I know my love of my son when he was laid in my arms the first time was the ultimate love here on earth. Then the heartache of losing him was the ultimate heartbreak. My Love Of God got me through that one. Those are feelings that we never stop feeling.
The word feel and feeling is often used lightly but to me feelings are who we are and how we react to things. It is a little word of very significant meaning. Some are intense and some are fleeting but they mean so much to our being. Feelings kept inside will fester and be harmful. Not only to you but to others around you. I had a breakdown once because of holding feelings inside. The Dr told me the day he dismissed me from the hospital, and these are his words I've never forgotten though they were spoken in 1975, "You can not bottle feelings up inside you Clydene, They have to get out somehow. The next time you start feeling trapped by your feelings, and you will, get it out any way possible. Either walk away from the situation causing it, or go somewhere and get it off your system any way you can. Scream, cry, stomp the ground, just whatever you have to do to release yourself. then get on your knees and Pray to God for help, If you don't then you are going to be sitting over in a corner somewhere talking to yourself". Some one told me once that the Dr was wrong. Pray is all I needed to do. In the shape my mind was in I would probably have Prayed for justice to come to the one hurting me. After I screamed it out then I prayed for help from my Saviour and not for any hurt to come to my tormentor. I think of the feelings I was having at the time and I shudder to think what could have happened to me if I hadn't followed that Dr's advice. I can't remember his name but I remember his face as he was telling me that. He showed me the feeling of compassion, not condemnation that others showed me. And By Golly I have never been know to sit over in the corner and talk to myself. No siree bob, not me. I let my feelings be known now. I try and not hurt anyone else with my feelings but I will ask them to stop. If they don't I will walk away. YEP! Now I will.