HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY

6-6-09...HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY

Fathers Day is coming up. I think about my Daddy a lot. He has been gone for 20 yrs. But I still miss him. Fathers Day has been just a day for me for many years. No Daddy or Grandpa to honor. I miss that time. For several years after Daddy died I'd go in the store and go ahead and buy a Beautiful card for him. I'd write a special message to him. Something only My Daddy and I would appreciate and understand. I kept that up for many years. I have a card scrapbook with all these cards preserved in it. Sometime along the way I let that practice slide away. Then five years ago when My Mama also left this Earth I took up the practice again for Mama and resumed for My Daddy too. I even started adding pictures.
Now and again I get those books out and read them and look at the pictures and reminiscence . There are happy memories and some not so happy. Each year I tell them something about what is going on with me and write a memory of my times growing up with them. I tell them what is in my heart and on my mind at the time. It is a great thing to have and I believe my Parents have read them all.
Last night I took out the one to Daddy and was reading. This is not word for word what it says but as close as I want to get here. .....
Good Morning Daddy. Your special day is coming and I just wanted to say how much I love you. You have been by me every day Daddy. I know you get so aggravated sometimes when you look down on my life now. I know this is not what you wanted for me Daddy and my heart breaks that you are hurt when I am hurt. Sometimes I need you so bad Daddy. I need you to hold me and tell me it will all be Ok. But it wont be OK will it Daddy? You could always kiss my hurts and make them better but these hurts are deep Daddy. I know that you saw him hit me Daddy and I know you wanted to help me. You would have if you had been here Daddy so don't worry about it I know you would. I remember once when I fell on barbwire and cut my leg real bad and Mama and you cried. I never told you that I was pushed down because someone was mad and wanted to hurt me. I knew what you would have done if I had. You would have whipped the snot outta that smart elec wouldn't you Daddy? You rescued me so many times then. I know you can't do it now Daddy but thats ok. Just talking to you helps. I feel your gentle arm around me right now while you kiss my tears away. I feel better Daddy. Thank You. I Love You Daddy!!!
HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!!!