MY TONGUE WILL BE THE RUIN OF ME

9-13-08...MY TONGUE WILL BE THE RUIN OF ME

My mouth overloads my brain often.. At the time I really need to keep my mouth shut it just erupts in to stupidness and goes spewing out like a volcano.
Someone gave me a gift once. Now I swear I thought it was a prank gift. You know a white elephant gift? I burst out laughing and said "Oh this is sooo, stupid." The hurt look on her face should have jolted me back to reality but Nope! Not me. I just kept on making comments and having fun. Heck I thought that was what was expected of me. Hey this is a joke, Right? Well, Duh! No it was not a joke. I started spluttering and back tracking trying to cover up my stupidness. Every word that spouted outta' my mouth just rammed both my feet deeper down my throat.
One day a friend had gotten a new dress. I didn't particularly like the dress but of course I wouldn't have said so. When we got where we were going there were other ladies all around us. I looked down and saw what I thought was her slip showing and very politely pointed it out to her. She informed me that was part of the dress and was not her slip. My mouth went in to high gear then and I said, "Oh my goodness, are you sure? I've never seen such a thing. Something is wrong with that dress". We were both embarrassed and she was miffed. Good Grief me and my big mouth.
Then there was the wife of my good friend and neighbor. I had practically grown up with him and he knew me and my mouth well. He and his wife had been separated for a few months and just got back together. They came by my house and I noticed she was pregnant. I asked her when the baby was due not thinking a thing about it. I mean that's what you ask don't you? Just an automatic question isn't it. Thing was she had gotten pregnant while she and my friend were not living together. He was the Father. Anyway I said you look like you are close to delivery. She got up and ran out of my house. My friend explained it to me. I guess it is obvious what she thought I thought. Good Grief!! Chalk one more up to my big motor mouth.
Not too long ago in Church I was commenting on how a Mother and Daughter seemed more like sisters. The Daughters young son said. "Are you saying Grandma looks young, or are you saying my Mom looks old." Here goes that never ending spurt from my mouth again. I said, "I'm saying they look like sisters". Well now heck fire. Through the week I got to thinking. How stupid can you get Clydene. When I saw them again I was trying to explain myself and said to the Daughter, "You don't look old at all". Then I turned to the Mother and what I meant to say was "You look very young". What I said to the Mother was "You don't look young at all". OH MY GOSH!! If I could bridle my tongue I would be so much better off!!! My tongue just flaps way too much don't ya' know?? YEP