INNER THOUGHTS

10-12-09...INNER THOUGHTS

I had the best of my life when I was growing up in my Parents house and when My son Richard was growing up in my house. Anything before or after has been window dressing. I have gone on but I've never been the same person.
I've had to strive daily since Richards death. It has not been easy. No one then or now wants to talk about or listen to me talk about my son. I don't really understand that but I do accept it finally. I have pen and paper and I can talk about and to Richard. I do that every day. I can keep him alive in my heart in the same way I keep my childhood alive. Sweet good memories that are all I can have of happier times.
Richard was a beautiful sweet child until life situations colored his inner self just the way they did mine. The only thing I could provide for Richard for many years was my Great unconditional love. I did that and I still do that. He was and he will forever be my main source of life. I will see him again someday when The Lord calls me home. I am ready to go but I am also ready to stay if that is The Lords Will. When I finally do walk through the Gates of Heaven I know Richard will meet me and then I will be with him forever. I look to that day, but for now I am striving to do as My Lord expects of me here on this earth.