MEMORIES THAT REMAIN

3-19-10...MEMORIES THAT REMAIN

This morning I got up all out of sorts. This time of year is always hard for me. Usually just coming here to The Hill and meeting and greeting my Great Friends is enough. This morning it wasn't. Sooo. I say to myself I'll revive some wonderful memory of my past. But that was not working either. I'm not one to let life defeat me and stay in gloom very long but heck fire I was so deep in the mire this morning I thought I was surely going to sink.
I couldn't help thinking about all the sickness and heartache in the world. Indeed right here on The Hill we have lots of it. My life has some too. Now how in the world to get all this put away where it belongs? Seems everything just happens at one time usually . WHY? I wish I knew. Oh My I wish I knew. But every since I found the blog section here on the hill and figured out how to use it, I have had a friend to grasp on to. Not so much A Friend, but more like a place of refuge. That is what The Hill has become to me. You see my friends, You are always there. I can come here anytime and find someone to talk to. I can find a place to Pray with and for others. I can find a cherry note or graphic or message. I can receive a hug, a giggle, maybe even a tear or two.
Two things happened this morning as I wallowed in my mire. First I looked at my gallery on the hill and some of those pics. brought back such sweetness in to my raw heart. There is that old house where I grew up. The house with draft holes all over to let in the cold air. The linoleum on the floor that would sometimes literally puff up and stand like a magic carpet when those cold winds blew under the house and up through the cracks in the floor. Curtains that would stand straight out and flutter like a ghost was blowing on them. The ol' stove where Daddy sat up all night to keep wood fed in and keep us warm. Then later the little gas stove where Daddy still had to sit up and watch. The gas pressure would go way down or the gas would freeze up in the lines.(yep sure did) Daddy had to be there when the gas was coming through the lines again so he could relight the stove and keep us from dying in our sleep from gas fumes. I saw a pic. of my Daddy sitting down on his feet with his knees up to his chin holding on to me or picking cotton, strawberries, etc. to make extra money that we needed badly. I remembered Daddy sitting like that in front of our Christmas tree picking out nuts for us to eat. We got nuts(that were sold in paper bags uncracked) and fruit and candy only at Christmas. What a treat!!! I remembered getting up on cold mornings and our bear feet hitting that cold floor, hopping around and hurrying out to get our shoes and socks that were sitting by the fire to keep warm. Then smelling the aroma of bacon frying and coffee brewing to the sounds of My Mama singing Amazing Grace. All the time still wishing for that good warm feather bed with the many quilts and the hot water bottle wrapped in a towel that Mama had so lovingly put by our feet before we went to sleep. All sweet loving memories of a time we didn't have a care in the world even when we sat down to the dinner table to a big bowl of mashed or fried potatoes and a big pot of pinto beans with fat back cooked in them. YUMMY! Still love them. All we had then, A treat now.
Then the second thing happened. I got an email from my friend from school days with a song by Bob Dylan of all people. A Hymn saying all the things I had in my mind. Wow! The lord knows just what we need, just when we need it!!! I'm adding the words here but can't figure out how to add the song so Look for it on my page later. Yep! I'm feeling better and I thank you my friends for being here when people in my life are not there for me. I love you, I love The Hill, I'm totally Thankful to TC and EB for creating this wonderful place for us where we can be safe. I feel closer to You all than I do some of my family. STRANGE?? Maybe, but true.
If anyone reading this has a need of the Heart right now, I'm betting that you can have it met right Here On The Hill where so many loving people will be there for you. We are all one big Family here and I am so Thankful this morning

I gaze into the doorway of temptation's angry flame
And every time I pass that way, I always hear my name
Then onward in my journey, I come to understand
That every hair is numbered, like every grain of sand
I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night
In the violence of a summer's dream, in the chill of a wintry light,
In the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space,
In the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face
I hear the ancient footsteps, like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand