NOSTALGIA

12-16-09...NOSTALGIA

I got a catalog in the mail one day and set down to look through it. Just a wish book because I wasn't going to buy anything. It was a Christmas book and boy did I ever wish! I got to noticing how they are reviving things from the past. Simple things then but with a huge price attached now.Remember Chenille robes that ladies all used to wear? And Chenille bedspreads? That was the only kind of bed spread or robes I ever remember having then... Well here they were in this catalog. Just brought back so many memories. I thought Boy I'd love to have one of those now. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the prices. Good Grief, they were much higher than any other bedspread or robe in the book. Mamma had a blue chenille robe and I can still feel it next to me as I snuggled in her lap. Is that another way of ripping us oldies off? Could be.Next thing I saw was as set of those bubble lights that were on the Christmas trees then. We never had any but my Aunt Georgia had a set of them and I was just fascinated with them. Different colors all bubbly. I'd love to have a set of those. But again they are called nostalgic pieces. ( Whatever to heck that means) $35.00 for a string of those things. No Thank you. I can't afford them but just looking at them gave me a warm fuzzy feeling as I remembered sitting by Aunt Georgia's tree and watching those bubbling lights for hours it seemed.Things are just not as simple or joyous anymore for me and I sure miss those nostalgic times. Don't you?

I'VE DONE IT AGAIN

12-16-09...I'VE DONE IT AGAIN

When I was a kid and did this to myself twice and also did it to my Brother I excused myself, well sorta'! But I am 65 years old going on 10 and there just aint no excuse anymore. Nary a one. Nope!
I've been needing a hair cut for several weeks now and just haven't felt like going to the hairdresser. The one I use is the only one who understands my kinky, frizzy, hair as she has hair just like mine. She is way out in the country and I'm getting chicken about driving anywhere out of the way anymore.
I got up one morning to a mess of what looked like barbed wire covered with hair. It was as hard to comb as that would have been also. I thought (that was my first mistake thinking) heck I'm going to at least straighten it up a bit. You know a snip here and a snip there. What made that not work was I was snipping anything that stood out wrong . If it stuck up, snip, if it stood out, snip, if it wouldn't lay down, snip, snip. Heck I was getting snip happy real fast. I'd watched how Carol did it enough times that I thought, (there's that word again) NO PROBLEM!!! Well! There was a problem as I soon found out.
I stopped for a while thinking (yep thinking) that I had done a pretty good job by golly! I washed it good and put mouse on it so it would stay in place and was on my way to other things.
About an hour later I went in the bathroom for obvious purposes and just happened to look in the mirror. OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOODNESS! What happened? What in the world is wrong with me? Am I stupid or something to think I could do this. Didn't I learn my lesson before? (Oh you betcha I've done this plenty of times over the years)!
I'm thinking' (there it is again) now let me see, maybe I can fix this before anyone sees me. So here we go again. Now let me tell you if I had just left well enough alone right then Carol still had a chance of fixing' it. Oh but heck no not little big britches. Nope!
I started again and you noticed I left the thinking out this time. Why the heck think, that was getting me no where fast. Good Grief!!!!
Now just let me say I plan to wear a hat or a scarf for a couple of weeks because I aint' got enough hair left for Carol to fix. I look like a partially peeled onion. I am just sick over this guys. If any one of you would like to kick my backside it is already sore cause I fell on it yesterday so one one kick won't make that much difference. I'd kick myself if I could. I took my picture and was gonna show y'all what I done to myself. You'll have to kill me to get that sucker!!!! YEP!

A RED NECK BATTLE

12-15-09...A RED NECK BATTLE

I had my washer going this morning early and had gone in the bathroom to get dressed. I started hearing something that sounded like someone was trying to open the door to the bathroom. I was about half dressed and I panicked. After I got my breath I hollered. Who are you and what do you want? I heard it again and I really came unglued. I was thinking Why isn't Moses barking for Heavens sake. He barks every time he sees his own shadow but now when it would be useful he clams up. I'll bet he's out there licking this murderer's hand. Boy Now my mind was spinning 90 miles to nothin'.
I got to thinking that I needed to get my clothes on and get myself covered just in case he (in my mind a he) gets in here. Oh My Gosh, even if I get myself dressed what then. During all this thinking I was still hearing the noise but now it sounded like a swishing gurgling racket.
I decided I'd better just get my bluff in and let that sucker know who he was dealing with. When I get that attitude and my red neck pride rares up I lose all sense of being scared. I'm ready to attack I'm thinking. I needed something to attack with and by golly my Daddies hammer in on the shelf where I keep it. I'll just open the door real fast and knock his brains out that's what I'll do by golly. He's gonna learn not to mess with me. By the way I still wasn't dressed completely but I had forgotten that little fact.
I got the hammer and crept up to the door. I didnt hear anything, Ok here I go!!!
I tore open that door and had the hammer ready to smash his brains out. Well heck fire there aint nothing there he must have got scared and run off. About that time the sound came again and by golly this time it was behind me. How the heck did that sucker get behind me? Good grief. I jumped up as far as this ol body would jump, turned around to swing the hammer. The hammer went behind me somehow and I tumbled backward right on my backside from the force of the swing of that heavy hammer. Well, Might as well surrender I was thinking cause I'm not sure I can even get up off the floor.
As I sat there defeated I heard the washing machine do one last slurping sound as it pumped the water out and heard it gurgling in the bathroom along with the slight bumping in the pipes. Oh My Gosh, I've never felt so stupid in my entire life. I was doing battle with the washing machine as it pumped out the water and started to spin. Mercy sakes alive!!! I am so glad that Don was not here. GOOD GRIEF!!! YEP!

YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALL YET

12-11-09...YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALL YET

Mamma told me many times over the years, “Clydene the older you get the faster time goes”. Boy oh boy was she ever right.

But when things are going good that's when time seems to fly. Time only slows down when problems come up.

When I was a kid I used to wait anxiously for some event and think it would never get there. When I was 12 I wanted to be a teenager. Boy Howdy I thought that would be the greatest thing. I figured that when I was a teenager I was going to be at the top, the very pinacle. My Uncle heard me say one day how I couldn't wait to be a teenager. He said “Clydene don't wish your life away”. I thought he was just silly. I sure know now what he meant.

One day I told Mamma, “You are so lucky. You can do anything you want to. I wish I was old”. My Gosh you'd have thought I had comited a crime or something the way she acted. Good Grief. I thought then that my Mamma and Daddy were the smartest people on the earth. I thought they knew everything, they were my heroes. There came a time then when I thought they were the dumbest people on earth and I knew everything. I was a teenager going on 25 and no one could tell me anything.

Next came the time when I 'Was' grown up and out on my own. It didn't take me long to start running back to my parents with my problems and thinking maybe they were smarter than me. I was looking up to them again and starting to see what they had sacrificed to bring me up out of my know it all stage to someone who needed my Mamma and Daddy again. I still figured I was grown and knew a lot but I was beginning to realize that I would never know everything.

Now I have come full circle. I'm old and really on my own. Not a spot to envy by any means. Mamma and Daddy are gone and I miss them. I know for a fact now that my Parents were the best they could be. They made me what I am and they are still in my heart and soul guiding me. Everyday something comes up that makes me remember thinking I was going to grow up and be perfect, know it all, and be my own boss. I still haven't achieved that and I know I never will. One Thing I do know for certain is My Mamma and Daddy had a job raising me. Heck they still have to grab hold of me sometimes and say, “You're getting' too big for your britches Clydene. You aint old enough yet to know everything”. Yep Mamma and Daddy You've sure nuff got that right.

CASPER THE WANDERER

12-10-09...CASPER THE WANDERER

I've told you about BoJangles. When I had to have him put to sleep I went looking for another Pal to love. I went in to a Pet Store and there was Caspar. White and fluffy with his tail curled back over his back. It was love at first sight and that went both ways. It was winter and it was cold. Caspar was only five weeks old. That was too young to be adopted out but the shop was in it for money. He was very gentle and I didn't hear him bark for a few weeks but boy when he came out of his shyness he was a white tornado.
I guess because of his young age and it being winter Caspar got pneumonia. The vet kept him two days and cared for him. He was still sick but I bundled him up and off we went. It was a while before he got over that but he eventually did and the white tornado was blowing again.
Caspar chewed everything he could get his teeth on. Everything except his toys ,that is. He had a basket for his toys. He would get one or two out and play with them then go and jump in the basket, put the toys back, and jump out with more. If it was his, he protected it and took good care of it. MY STUFF? He ate my stuff. I had almost lost him and I was very reluctant to correct him so he got to be a little white terror.
When Caspar was 11 months old he went to bed one night and never woke up. I don't know what happened. He was frisky and healthy when I went to sleep but sometime in the night something happened. Vet was puzzled. He thought maybe it was something like the sudden death syndrome like happens to Babies sometimes. Whatever it was it really threw me for a spin. I felt horrible. I would say if only I had done this or that. Someone told me I should never have got him in the winter. I don't know about that but it was hard on me that Christmas.
Some will not understand this but my pets are part of my family and I love them. They are loyal to be and love me when people might not. I have had a dog in my house as long as I can remember. I will as long as I'm able.

PICTURES OF CHRISTMAS

12-9-09PICTURES OF CHRISTMAS

I love Christmas. Not gifts, lights, or pumpkin pie necessarily but the thoughts, sounds and smells that are so familiar at this time of year. There are traditions of my childhood that I have never let go of. I can still see in my mind all those special things just like I stored the pictures in my mind for future use.

By Thanksgiving all the summer things had been stored away. I'm not referring to clothing either. I'm thinking of the fruit closet full of all the things Mamma had gathered and preserved for the coming cold. The garden that Daddy had laid by and left ready for the spring planting when things would turn green and grow. The hog was butchered and the meat made ready to keep through the winter. New chickens that had hatched in the early fall and raised in a big box with a light in it for warmth. were now ready to be in the pen with the others. They began to lay their eggs in time for Christmas if the hatching had been at the right time.

Christmas wasn't even thought of until after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving had its own special things for my remembrance.

We didn't usually ask for anything because we liked the expectation of the surprises that we would have on Christmas Eve night after Church. Sometimes not much but treasures to us. We took good care of our treasures because we didn't get new toys every time we got in to town. Our gifts were always special whether they be a set of jacks for me or a sack of marbles for Norman or something more substantial or more costly. We appreciated what we got.

Christmas was a magic time of Santa, oranges apples and nuts. A cedar tree with very few decorations, family around, cooking and baking and just enjoying.

Christmas today is a long drawn out affair that starts about Halloween. (which is not a holiday to me. I don't recognize it at all)

Thanksgiving is passed by and Christmas lasts two months or more. I'm not a scrooge but I can't get that magical feeling until about three days before Christmas day. It is just not the same for me. I just quietly Celebrate Christs Birth. No frills, no lights, no big dinner any more. I enjoy staying home with my memories and look again at all those pictures I have stored in my head.

And that's the way it is for me!!!!

NEVER THE SAME

12-9-09...NEVER THE SAME

I've never stood where I stand today,
though alike it may seem.
I never had the same thoughts,
nor dreamed the same dreams.
Everything is different that seems the same.
No one is the same as before.
The same troubles never return,
to knock upon my door,
Everything was swept away
as dust upon the wind.
And I leave it there where it belongs,
because I know, that around the bend
everything is new, nothing remains the same
although I wish it could.
Not yesterday--- not tomorrow, they are but clouds,
just winnowing from where they stood.
Today I stand and face what is, not thinking of other times,
when things were new and fresh as Spring,
Winter not brought to mind.

Clydene (Thomas) Overbey
12/09/2009

DR GIBBONS

12-8-09...DR GIBBONS

The very first Dr I remember going to in my very young years was Dr Gibbons. Now he was quiet a sight. Very tall and kind of bent over with age probably. He had a lot of silver hair and a handle bar moustache. I remember thinking he had the longest feet I'd ever seen. He smoked a pipe and it hung out of his mouth the whole time. He never laid it down. Wonder what people would say about that now? I loved the smell of that pipe. When he got too old his Son stepped in and he also smoked a pipe.
I was scared out of my gourd of him. I mean shaking scared. His office was way up high. I don't know if it was second or third floor but I do know there was no elevator and it seemed like hundreds of steps up there. It was a very narrow passageway dark and musty. Hard to walk up there if you were well and almost impossible if you were sick. I remember my poor parents carrying me and Norman up those steep stairs and wonder how the heck they did it. As I look back I just can't conceive of me having to walk up there now. How in the world did older sick people manage?
Remember those big long sticks Dr's stuck down your throat to hold your tongue down? I hated those things. Every time Dr Gibbons came at me with one of them I'd start fighting his hand. He was gentle and calm with me and soothed me down but I still hated gagging on that thing. He looked at my throat, my ears, took my temp, and listened to my heart. Then he would go back in to a little room and rummage around for a while. I knew what he was doing and I knew what it meant for me. He had his own Pharmacy in the back as lots of Drs did then.
When he came out he always had the same three things, (at least thats how I remember it) There would be a small white envelope with tiny pink pills in it. A bottle with something pink and milky in it, and another bottle with red medicine in it. Then I would usually get a shot in my hip. OUCH! Usually said it was a cold. I never heard of the flu then. Hmmmmmm!
A girl my age had polio when she was very young. She wore a brace on one of her legs (Still does) and that leg looked like a stick to me. Very thin. I would look at it and I just kept thinking that Dr Gibbons would try to put one on my leg. Well by golly if he did I was going to fight him like a tiger. Girls wore dresses then, never pants, and the brace was there for all to see. I didn't want that and I wondered why my friend did want it.
It cost 5.00 to go to the Dr then and that included the medicine. My Goodness but things have sure changed now. YEP!

MAMMA VISITED ME

12-8-09...MAMMA VISITED ME

Mamma died just before Thanksgiving six years ago. I lost the best friend I ever had or ever will have in this world. Sometimes I want to talk to my Mamma so bad it hurts. I want to sit on her lap like I did when I was a kid or have her put her arms around me and say Its Ok, Don't cry. When everything was falling down around me Mamma was there. I guess I figured she would always be there for me. After she was gone I was just lost.
Two mornings ago about 2:00AM in the very quiet time, I was lying in bed crying. I was hurting, I couldn't take any more meds. for five more hours. I had been up earlier and my BP was way up again. Well heck fire, what now I thought. I just might as well give up and try to get through the best I can from now on.
"Clydene I didn't raise you like that! Now that is enough of this stupid stuff, Straighten up"!!! (Now please, if you are poo,pooing this and you are skeptical, Please stop reading right now). The words were plain to me, In My Mind? That doesn't matter because I heard my Mamma say this just like I had heard her all through my life saying it. I had been wanting and wishing I could talk to my Mamma. Well my Mamma was talking to me just like she always did. I actually flinched expecting a peach tree limb to sting my legs that's how real it was to me. I saw a shadow of my Mamma standing sideways to me, her hair was in the style she always wore. Nope I didn't see her face and she was gone as fast as she came but she sure made me stand to attention just the way she always did.
So yesterday morning I got up and said to myself, My Mamma didn't raise me to whine and whimper, and by golly that is enough of being stupid. I'm going to straighten up fast and give myself an attitude ajustment. I'm going to think postive and move even when I think I can't. Next time Mamma might actually use that peach tree limb on me. YEP!!!

TODAY

12-7-09...TODAY

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I've heard that many times over my life. I'd imagine you have too.
This morning I deleted all the hurtful things of yesterday and wiped the slate clean. At least that is what I have tried to do. Yesterday I learned things that will not allow the same consequences today.
Today I face life with a new clean slate knowing that today will never return.
So today I will live happy. I wont know about tomorrow and yesterday blew away in the dust. Today I will defy obstacles in my path and trust that even with them I can still succeed. I will not hurt or harm anyone purposely. I don't put out what I don't want myself. I will greet everyone I meet with a smile even though I feel like crying. Maybe someone will give me a smile back. I know I've said this before but bear with me because my Dear wonderful Daddy instilled this phrase in me while I was still young and innocent, “Honey laugh so you wont have to cry”. I've been doing a lot of that lately. It has been a very hard time for me but I know there are others who have worse times.
One of my first Sunday School teachers told us, “Live each day as if it was your last day”. That stuck with me even though I have not always followed the advice.
I remember Mamma saying many time when I'd be miffed about something, “ Clydene don't ever go to sleep mad at anyone or with someone mad at you. They might not be here tomorrow.
What ever you think your problems are, they may be bad or tragic, but they are not ever the worst thing that could happen to you. Someone is always in worse shape than you are.”
Sometimes I really need to be reminded of this. YEP!

SIMPLE IS THE BEST

12-4-09...SIMPLE IS THE BEST

With Christmas so near how I long for the old time Christmas' like we used to have. When Richard was growing up we kept Christmas just the way it had always been to us. It's all we knew.
Our Christmas tree didn't go up the day after Thanksgiving either. We had a live cedar tree. I just thought that was the way it was, and by golly it was. Since the tree was fresh from the outdoors of course it had to be far away from the open flame of our little heater.
On the 23rd of December We went and got a cedar tree. Did you ever smell cedar inside your house? I still associate that smell with Christmas. Daddy brought it to the front porch and trimmed it up nice. Cut the base of the tree with an angle he said. That way it can have a drink of water and not dry out. Then Daddy set the tree down in a 3 gallon lard bucket and filled more rocks in to make the tree stand up sturdy. Of course we were 'helping' all we could. Dirt was put in on top of the rocks and tamped down. Norman and I would then scamper around to hold the screen door open while Daddy and Mamma carried the tree in and put it in the corner where it was always placed for trimming. Oh My Oh My what fun it was to trim the tree. No blinking lights and balls and fancy stuff like that. We had one string of lights with seven big bulbs. Red, green, blue, orange, yellow, another red. The 7th bulb was white. The white one was fitted into a silver star on top of the tree. We usually had decorations that Norman and I had made. Sometimes we had a package of silver 'icicles' and some stuff that felt and looked like spider webs that was, artificial snow. Mercy that stuff was messy. I can still see that tree.
We got to turn those lights on that night and again on Christmas eve night. By then it was starting to get dried out and shedding all over the place. Stepping on a cedar twig bare footed aint a good thing. Its like stickers. The tree was taken down on Christmas evening and all the mess cleaned up. The clean up was never as much fun of course.
Christmas eve night we all went to the little Church across the tracks and had our Christmas program. There was a huge cedar tree set up on the stage with lights. I remember it had some bubble lights. Oh how I loved those. I was just fascinated with that colored water bubbling up when it heated a bit. Santa was there and handed each of us a gift from under the tree plus our stocking with an orange, an apple, and some Christmas candy Our Parents had put the gift there of course. I remember one year I was so afraid that Santa would forget to come to my house after he had already been at church. But always when we got home 'Santa' had been there and we had gifts under the tree. There would be mixed nuts in a paper bag that Daddy would set down there and crack with a hammer on a rock for us. Daddy could sit with his feet flat on the for and his knees up under his chin for long times.
What we got was always practical things like clothes that we needed. I got a doll most years and Normans thing that I most remember was cap pistols. There is a picture of Norman and I setting on the ground with our legs stretched out. He was holding my little red purse and I had his cap pistol. We ate just what we always ate. Usually had Chicken and dressing. Nothing fancy, just nourishing food. Mamma made the best Southern Pecan Pie you ever wrapped your lips around!!! Yummy!
So there you have it. A Simple Christmas. The kind of Christmas I am longing for right now. YEP!

THE BOBSIES AND THE BURRS

12-3-09...THE BOBSIES AND THE BURRS

My Daddy used to call Brenda and I the Bobsey Twins. Nope I don't know where he got that name for us but he only called us that when we had been mischievous. That says a lot.
I was talking to Brenda on the phone a few days ago. When we talk it always goes to the subject of when we were growing up together. Brenda, her Brother Paul. Me, my Brother Norman.
Thinking back I know we thought those two were our toys to play with when they were small. As soon as they got big enough to follow us around Daddy started calling them burr' heads'. So there you have it The Bobsey Twins and the Burr heads.
One day when they were about two and three Brenda and I were dressing our dolls. I don't know which one thought of it but we decided it would be more fun to dress 'Real' dolls. Yep! You got it! Norman and Paul became our “real' dolls. Oh Lordie Me!!!!
We put some of our dresses on them. I said “Brenda, Mamma has some petticoats that ought to be put on. We got two of Mammas petticoats out of her drawer in the chest of drawers . While we were in there we were eating a sucker and Guess what? Yep we dribbled all over Mammas undies.
We knew we had to hurry because every time we played in there Mamma would just keep peepin' in on us. We got on the dresser and sprayed sumptin on them. Don't know what it was but I suspect it was something to clean with cause' Mamma never wore perfumes and stuff like that. The only thing she had was a small tube of lipstick that she put on lightly when she went somewhere special,(which was very seldom). We painted their lips and put some of that stuff on us too. Ruined the lipstick because we put the lid on and scrunched the stuff down.
“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE Y'ALL DOING!!!!! Good Grief I thought, she didn't havta' holler so loud. Nere busted my ears! The four of us scrambled to attention as fast as we could. Norman started bellerin' and I told him to Shut Up. “YOU SHUT UP CLYDENE”! That was Mamma sayin that so I shet up fast. We were waiting patiently for the storm of all storms. Mamma told us not to move an inch, I mean not an inch! I'll be right back.
“Oh Gosh, were a' gonna get it now”, I said. From the other room came, “DON'T EVEN TALK”. I was thinking 'shoot fire' I think we'd outta go out that door there and run as far as we can away from here.
We heard Mamma coming back so we snapped back to attention. Heck fire she went and got sumptin. My mind was running wild about what that sumptin was and I'll bet the other three were thinking on those same wave lengths.
When Mamma came through the door she had the most beautiful smile on her face I think I've ever seen. She had Grandpas old black box camera. She herded us out in the yard and took two pictures of us. Now who would have thought Mamma would think we were too cute to spank? Never figured that one out till my Richard did some similar things. Mamma's are just like that I recon. YEP!!! I have looked for that picture in Mamma's pictures ever since I talked to Brenda but it is not here. Oh My How I wish I could see that picture again!!!

FRIDAY NIGHT FUDGE PARTIES

12-02-09...FRIDAY NIGHT FUDGE PARTIES

Friday nights in the winter was our fudge parties. Brenda and I would be at one house together. Sometimes Mamma and Auntie had to pool their stuff so we'd have what was needed for the fudge.
Now this wasn't the fudge like we all make today. Nope, We didn't know there was any kind but what we made.
We'd assemble our stuff all on the old kitchen table. The recipe was on the Hershey's cocoa box. We used a big skillet to cook it in. Now this was not like the skillets we have today either. It was a skillet that used to be used on wood cook stoves. Had a long handle that did not get hot. The one we had was bent to heck and everything run to the center as you cooked it. I don't know why that particular skillet was used but it always was.
In the skillet went sugar, (three heaps) milk, dash of salt,& some cocoa powder. Now don't turn the burner on yet. First get that big ol' white platter. Spread a dollup of butter out on it and set it back on the table. Get a saucer and put a little cold water in it. Set the vanilla flavoring by that and some more butter. (Now let me explain, this is not what it stated on the can but how we talked to one another as we assembled it all.)
Now get the ingredients in the pan mixed real good and turn the burner on low. There was a container hanging on the wall near by that had yellow flowers on it. That was the match box holder. You had to strike a match on the side of the box, turn the gas on a smidge and stick the flame to it till the burner lit up. Quiet a production. The stove was white enamel with green stripes. Yep, Really! There were four burners. It sat up on four legs. The oven was on the side and it was big. Just threw that in for good measure in case some of you don't know what we cooked on then.
Now there was a teakettle of water always on the back burner with a low flame to always have hot water. The water stand had a shelf on bottom and there were two dishpans for washing and scalding dishes. Well Heck fire I done went and got sidetracked on all that, better get back to the fudge.
Now came cooking. It was definitely not five minute fudge. Bring the ingridients to a bubblin boil stiring constantly. Reduce heat and cook till a smidgen of it forms a soft ball when dropped in cold water. Yep! We dropped so many balls in there that the water in the saucer was brown. We knew it wasn't done but we liked to eat the cooled stuff outta' the water. YEP! We usually had it running off the table. Now when the perfect soft ball was formed, remove from heat, add I teaspoon vanilla and a dolup of butter. Take turns beating it with a wooden spoon until mixture thickens up a bit and don't look so shiny. Pour in the buttered platter and spread out good. Get a spoon and test it till its cool and hard enough to cut with a knife. Eat all that off the spoon you tested it with. YUMMY!
You can't have a big piece till your mess is all cleaned up. That's where the hot water and the dishpans come in. Oh My Gosh was that stuff good!
Now if you guys were listinin good you outta be able to make the best darn fudge you ever wrapped your mouth on.
Good Grief but I'm hungry!!!!!

I'M GOIN DOWN PUNCHIN

11-25-09...I'M GOIN DOWN PUNCHIN

I'm here writing this because I have much to say and here all my best acquaintances hopefully will see it.
I was talking to a friend about my health problems one day and we were discussing things that can maybe help. During the conversation I remember saying that my Daddy always said he wants to die with his boots on and I feel the same way. In other words I want to live till I die not vegetate to live. I want Biscuits and gravy with lots of bacon. I want chocolate cake, I want #2 Sonic Burgers, fries and a shake. My friend said something to the affect of, Do you want to live or die. I want to live until I die is my answer.
I watched my Mamma and many more over the years deteriorate from healthy and robust to skin and bones. It will happen! That's a fact. When we finally had to check Mamma in to a nursing home all she really wanted to eat was sausage gravy and biscuits. Well No Mrs Thomas You can't have that because of too much salt. You can't have that big red juicy piece of watermelon Mrs. Thomas, because you are restricted on fluids. It was the same thing day by day. My Mamma was very sick and had no appetite. She would eat only these things and enjoyed only these things. My Brother and I decided why let her lay there and starve because they had her foods restricted. DUH!! Answer is you don't. At least that was our answer. I told everyone who would listen,(and some who wouldn't) that we wanted my Mamma to have anything she would eat, no diets and restrictions. I took her a little bowl of watermelon one day and you would have thought I'd committed murder. OH NO, She can't have that. To heck she can't, Just try and stop her. Her Dr said, I'll take care of the Dr. Did that shorten her life? Maybe a little but Mamma lived till she died, she didn't starve.
My Daddy was dieing and he knew it. He wanted to come home from the hosp. To die with his boots on and Daddy got to live at home for one whole week. I cooked Daddy a steak and potatoes the night before he died. My Daddy was not eating, my Daddy wanted steak and potatoes. End of story.
One morning while I was in the hosp they brought me scrambled eggs and a biscuit for breakfast. I hadn't been eating anything but that morning I would have eaten those eggs if they would have allowed me just a bit of salt. Of course you know they wouldn't let me have it. So, No breakfast.
When The Dr's office called me last night and told me my kidneys are not functioning well and thus not able to pump all the fluids through I thought OK Here we go again! Now I'm not stupid enough to go in the kitchen and eat a box of salt but I will eat some salt. I wont eat as much salt and who knows I might get used to no salt in time but heck fire I weight 160lbs. And I saw my Mamma go from 160 lbs. To 136 lbs in 16 days. Mamma never gained a pound back but just kept going down. So when my Mamma looked like a skeleton lying there in bed and she wanted some sausage & gravy------ Well you know what happened. I just Pray that someone will do that for me.
So today, (or maybe years ago) I made up my mind, I don't care if I've got my boots on but I want to live till I die. Don't want to be deprived of the only things I like just to give me a few more, days/weeks/years? I want to enjoy every day I can and go down punchin' by golly! YEP!!

MY RED SHOES

11-5-09...MY RED SHOES

We didn't get shoes every time we had a whim then, but got them when we needed them. I had Church shoes, white in summer, black in winter, and school shoes. I needed school shoes badly I guess. Mamma was sick so Daddy took me to Dryers Shoe Store to buy my shoes.
I sat down and Daddy told the lady what we needed. Everyone knew the difference in Church and School shoes then even the clerks in the stores.
She brought out several pairs for Daddies inspection. I spotted a pair of red shoes and I wanted them. The lady put them on my foot and I knew right away they were too tight. I also knew that Daddy would squeeze them at the toes to see if they were long enough. I scrunched up my toes as far as I could and Daddy felt where my 'Toe' was and he was satisfied. I got my red shoes and had been wearing them to school for about two weeks. They really hurt my toes but I wasn't about to say anything.
One night I was sitting in the floor barefoot and Daddy said, "Clydene what is wrong with your toes"? "Nothing Daddy Why"? The jig was up. My toes were an awful sight I guess because Mamma and Daddy both had a fit as they examined my toes. When they figured out why Daddy said, "Clydene why in the world did you get those shoes if you knew they were going to hurt your feet"? I told him that I wanted those red shoes and I knew he wouldn't let me have them too little. Mamma and Daddy both told me ,"Clydene they had other sizes I'm sure. You could have still had the red shoes". Well heck fire I didn't even think of that. Shoot fire!
They couldn't afford another pair of shoes right then so My Auntie bought me another pair. No they were not the red shoes I wanted but I wore them anyway.
I was about nine then and should have known better but I wanted that pair of red shoes and cost my Parents more money later. GOOD GRIEF!!!