COUNTY FAIR

5-27-10...COUNTY FAIR

I was reading a book today and read something about riding a Ferris wheel. That reminded me of something that I hadn't thought of in years. I don't how I could have forgotten because it scared me so bad I shook.
Our County had a fair and carnival every year in September. My little school took the school bus and some teachers and parents as supervisors and all who wanted to could ride to the Carnival on Friday. It was half price day and was in Ozark not very far from our school. They also took us to the state fair in Little Rock when we were older. Rides were a dime and you could get a hamburger, fries, and coke for 15 cents with half price. Daddy always managed to give me a dollar for the day which seemed a humongous amount to us at the time. I could eat, ride, and maybe something else in a day and boy did I love it. This particular time was my very first time on the Ferris wheel and I was not in very much a hurry to do it. Probably wouldn't have if my friends hadn't been there and most of them didn't know how scared I was of heights. Well little miss brave britches me wasn't about to admit to them that I was afraid of anything
One of my friends and I decided to ride together. Now I knew Pat wasn't afraid so I felt a little more cumfy' with her. I stepped right up and got on that monstrosity like I had done it hundreds of times. Pat didn't even know it was my first time.
When it jerked as it took off my nightmare had begun. Scared the snot outta' me and I screamed. Pat thought I was having fun and excited so she started rocking the seat which was positively against the rules. Well I didn't know nothing about rules but I was petrified. Completely spaced out and undone. When we went around a complete circle the first time I thought 'Wow, this is over. I'm getting' off this thing and I'll never get back on one as long as I live'. Well I guess you know I didn't get off. That thing just kept going and 'Uppp' we went again. I held my breath as we went down again but it stopped half way to let more passengers on. By golly I thought that dang thing was stuck and I was a doomed girl for sure. I was so scared that all I could do was breathe hard and nary a sound came out of my mouth but by golly I was screaming loud in my mind for them to get me off of that thing this instant.
It went on around and this time it stopped when our seat was right on the top. I had gotten on there with cotton candy and Pat had a coke. I was hanging on tight to my cotton candy with one hand and the brace on the seat with the other hand.
When the seat lurched as it took off again I slung my arm out and hit Pats arm. The coke and the cotton candy went flying out over the crowd.
Pat said, “Clydene that stuff hit a man and a lady on the head and they looked up at us. If they see us when we get off we are in trouble”! I was too much in a hurry to get off that thing to be worrying about that so I just ignored Pat.
The next time around it stopped and they let us off. Pat grabbed me by the arm and said , “Come on Clydene we gotta hurry”. Well she sure as heck didn't have to tell me to hurry up cause I was moving on. I don't know if the ones we spilled on saw us or not but Pat was convinced they did. She finally convinced me to and we were both scared the rest of the day that those people were gonna' come get us and do something bad to us. I was so scared that I didn't enjoy the rest of the day.
When we got on the bus to go home that evening one of the girls said that she got sick on the ferris wheel and threw up on a lady down below.
When all was said and done we had no idea if it was the same lady we had spilled our stuff on but I'll bet the lady knew. I know I would rather have cotton candy and coke come down on me that a glop of puke!!! YUKKY!

A SMILE

5-21-10...A SMILE, HUG, GIGGLE, BACK PAT, FRIEND

Every body has a smile. Some use it until they have wrinkles around their eyes. Some use it less often than others. I hate to say it but I know some who I just don't think they ever use their smile.
A smile doesn't cost a cent. You can give it away all day and have plenty more left over.
There is no one no matter how mighty or how rich that doesn't benefit from a smile.
No one can steal it or borrow it from you but if you give them one you have enriched their life beyond measure. Money can't buy one, power can't take one away but I can give millions away and never be the poorer for it. I might even heal a heart, dry a tear, or comfort a grieving soul with one quick smile. I know this is true because I've had many smiles given to me at just the right time to lift my spirits and make my heart soar!!! There was a time in my life that if someone had just smiled at me I know I'd have felt so much better.
Another thing that we all need is hugs. Nothing more therapeutic than to be down in the dumps , sad, or hurting emotionally, and have someone give you a big warm bear hug. I am a touching, hugging person. I have to be careful because I have ran across some people who don't like to be touched or hugged. All I can say is if you don't wanna be hugged stay outta' my way cause I can't help myself. Not very long ago I encountered a lady in the grocery store who I had gone to school with. I hadn't seen her in a very long time. I walked up to her with my arms wide open meaning to give her a big ol' hug and she dodged me big time. I mean to tell you she took off in the other way fast acting like she didn't see me. It took me a few minutes to figure it out but that lady didn't want a hug and she certainly DID' see me. I followed her all over the store trying to at least talk to her a bit. Finally I said, “Well forget it then. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole”. Good grief! I don't understand that at all. Especially since we used to be good friends.
Everyone needs a pat on the back now and then too and it don't hurt me a bit to do it. Heck a pat on the back doesn't even have to be a touch of any kind. You can tell someone they did a good job, they look nice, or sometimes they just need someone to say, It's Ok, It'll be fine, or just, Hang in there, I'm here for you. It only takes a few words to make someone's day better.
Now something that is good for us all is a good giggle or a full blown belly laugh. One of those tear falling ones that opens up and pours out all the pain, or fear. A good laugh washes all the gross stuff out of your mind and cleanses you all over. I love to laugh and I love it when I can help someone else laugh. That is another thing I missed for years.
I had a dog (Bo Jangles) for 16 years who was my life line almost. He loved me unconditionally. I used to cry a lot. Bo Jangles would get in my lap, look me in the eyes, and cry with me. He even licked the tears from my cheeks. Everyone needs someone or some thing like that. No one can make it in this old wicked world without, A Smile, A Hug, a pat on the back, A good Belly Laugh , and a Friend now and then and I plan to give as many of these out as I possibly can. So Honey Don't get around me if you don't want any of these things. OK?

A QUESTION OF THE MIND

5-20-10...QUESTION OF THE MIND

I'm sitting here this morning pondering on several things. First and foremost is,,, Are you ready for this? Where in the heck did my mind go? Good Grief, somewhere along the way my mind got loose and stayed behind. I know I didn't intentionally lose my mind it just happened. I was going along happy as a Mississippi squirrel minding my own business and somehow left a vital part of my anatomy by the wayside.
It took me a spell to even miss it too. I mean my goodness why would you miss something you didn't ever use, It was old and all rusted out anyway wasn't it?
I probably should have suspected something was amiss when I found my toothpaste in the freezer. Or even when I found my gallon of milk in the cabinets (finally). But I just toodled on about my business like I was Einstein or somebody, blissfully ignorant of my problem.
Every time I'd go in to another room to do something and forget what I went after I just thought, Oh Well It probably wasn't important anyway, What the Heck!
Then there was the day I had an appointment to get a haircut and came to my senses about the time I was getting out of the car at Moses' groomers I started wondering a tad bit.
But when I got out of bed one morning at three AM and proceeded to call my Aunt and wake her up because I thought it was three PM, Well, Then I kinda' sorta' got a clue that something was not right. YEP! Sumpthin' is definitely going on here. And Her asking me “Clydene Where is your mind” finally let the cat outta' the bag. My mind seems to be shrunk up a bit. Or could it be that I might find it someday like I did my toothpaste and milk? Nawww, I think that sucker is gone for good but that's OK, Now I don't have to worry about using it. What a relief!!!!

MUD PIES

5-18-10...MAKING PIES

Brenda and I made lots and lots of mud pies. There was a perfectly delicious spot for this under the edge of the porch at Brenda's house. There was room enough for us to sit there cross legged as long as we desired. We made all kinds of pies in all kinds of molds. And yep we ate parts of what we cooked and were very indignant at those who didn't appreciate our efforts. We didn't need to wait for rain to make mud we made our own and we used all kinds of flavors. Milk was a good one it made a creamy kind of caramel color and didn't taste bad either. Auntie knew we were under there playing in the dirt but it took her a while to figure out that we were snitching ingredients and molds from her kitchen and making pie. Of course she “DID” find out in due time.

Someone milked their Cow Pet every morning and evening when she was fresh. The milk would be covered and left on the screened back porch until Auntie got around to straining it and putting it into gallon jars. We usually got at the milk in the evenings before Auntie took care of it.

This one time we got some and decided we didn't have enough so we went back for more. We already had mud on our hands. Trouble was Auntie already had it in jars and sitting in the Ice box. Well that made it harder but we were not thinking along those lines. We had to get a chair to get to the jars. Of course we couldn't get the jar open but we left mud evidence.

We got back under the house and got to thinking about the mud on the jar and decided we'd better get ourselves back in there and clean that off the jar before Auntie came in from the garden and discovered it. Back in there we went bent on covering our tracks. When we got there we discovered the mess was worse that we had thought. I mean to tell you mud was everywhere from the door to the jars and everywhere in between. Of course we were not thinking too clear or we would have washed our hands before attempting to clean. Good Grief!! We got a dishrag and started swiping around and were just making a bigger mess so we stood back and discussed it for a while.

I said, “Brenda what we have to do is take them jars out of there so we can clean them before we put em' back”. She agreed with me and here we went. Now let me tell you those gallon jars were a lot more than we could handle. I can't remember our age but we were not very big I do know that.

Brenda got up in a chair and proceeded to hand the jars down to me. I reached up and she kinda' pushed the jar out. It hit right about my belly and down I went with Brenda right behind the jar. I had all the wind knocked out of me and was rendered as helpless as a kitten. I suspect Brenda was in almost the same shape cause' she wasn't doing anything but sorta snubbing. When Brenda and the jar rolled off me of course now the lid came off easy. Might have saved us a little bit of trouble if we could have gotten the lid off before.

Well I guess you know that was when Auntie came on the scene. There we were wallowing in milk and mud on the floor too winded to even defend ourselves and there she was standing in the door with pins and needles shootin' outta' her eyes. Oh my goodness were we in trouble now. We knew it but we couldn't even get up and run.

I don't remember the clean up at all but I suspect we didn't do it. What I do remember is the butt whackin' and the cleaning up of us. I'll tell you for sure that part wasn't very pleasant. Nope not pleasant at all!!!!!

BERTHA MAY HENRY DALTON PAGE

5-10-10...BERTHA MAY HENRY DALTON PAGE

Every family has at least one Aunt Bertha and every family has a bossy lady who tries to be the head of everything. My Great Aunt Bertha was both!
Aunt Bertha was married two times and never had any kids. Her first husband was Bob Dalton. If you are familiar with the Outlaw gang the Dalton Brothers he was the son of one of them. His picture is below along with Aunt Bertha. Also Aunt Bertha sitting on his car when they were dating. Aint she a sight?! at the time on his car. She was married very young to him then she married Bob Page (Yep another Bob) and he died after only 6 years. She lived the rest of her life alone and it couldn't have been easy then but she worked and bought her own home. If it needed repairs she did it. Roof or whatever it was. The house is still here in the town of Mulberry but it certainly doesn't look like it did then.
You talk about feisty, Good Grief That don't begin to describe Aunt Bertha. A dare devil in her younger years, a holy terror in her later years. Not rude or brash just straight and to the point. Don't try any nonsense with my Aunt Bertha cause' she'd get you fast.
Aunt Bertha was my Grandma's sister and thought she was the only one in the family who had enough sense to make any kind of intelligent decision. She bought a whole set of Dr's books used in their schooling at that time and by golly she thought she was a Dr and knew more than any Dr of that time. To tell the truth she did know more than some of them.
She was a little 5 ft. lady that weighed 90 lbs soaking wet but man was she wired and loaded for bear.
There was a loving gentle side to Aunt Bertha as well and that is the side I saw most often. She'd work cutting spinach or picking cotton all day and always gave us a nickle out of her earnings. She bought material and sent it to my grandma so grandma could make my Mamma and her two sisters a dress to wear to school. They didn't have a dress at the time and were wearing a bloomer type thing that grandma made out of a toe sack.
Aunt Bertha is the one who named me when I was born. I told her often that she could have chosen a prettier name. TEE HEE
As you see in the photo she had curly and unruly hair like mine. My Grandma always said I looked like Aunt Bertha and my Daddy said I acted like her sometimes. HMMMM! Guess I got a lot from my Aunt Bertha. HUH?

LEARNING IS HARD

5-9-10...LEARNING CAN BE HARD

We learn by, seeing, doing, hearing, watching, listening, etc.
We grow by what we learn, what we are taught, by example of those around us who are wise, and most of all by experience. We survive on grit, determination, trying, and never giving up. We face our heartaches, hardships, disappointments, adversities, enemies, and downfalls. We get up, dust our britches and go on no matter what because if we don't someone will most certainly kick us while we are down. Even if that does happen and we are beaten down we don't have to stay down unless we choose to. We keep going, pushing, and facing problems and get up every time we are down. I know all this, I was taught all this, and I put all this in practice all my life. But I am tired today and don't want to face any of it so I chose not to. Like I said it is our choice and there is no way we can stay on top all the time.
Today I sit and feel so sorry for myself that I am ashamed. I can't face things or people today even if I hurt their feelings. I just absolutely can not. Does that mean that tomorrow will be the same way? I can't really answer that right now but I'm hoping that it will not. I will strive for a better day tomorrow when today is gone and just a bad memory because I don't choose to dwell on bad memories. I know they will come creeping in again sometimes when my defenses are down but tomorrow I intend to laugh at my foolishness. Tomorrow I intend to raise my face to the first light and say, “Watch out world. Clydene is back”!

STILL KICKING

5-3-10...I'M STILL HERE

I don't like getting my bubble burst in my face but it does happen. Too often it seems. How come you can go along on your merry way and one word, look, or thought can just blind side you?

One day just a few years back I was riding in the back seat of a car which I very seldom do. In fact I will not do if I can help it because I get nauseous. I was dressed to the nines, my face all made up, my hair fixed with not a hair out of place (which is a rare thing). I happened to look in to the mirror on the windshield of the car. Lordee Mercy sakes alive something is wrong with that mirror. Has to be because I definitely don't have all those wrinkles and all that gray hair. Nope, somebody scratched that mirror. YEP! That's what happened by golly. Now guys I was really convinced the mirror was scratched. Enough so that I asked the driver why in the heck was that mirror all scratched up like that. Yep sure did! Of course she informed me the mirror was perfectly OK not a scratch on it. I asked everyone in the car if they could see the scratches. Nope, nary a one saw them.

I was flabbergasted, upset, and completely disillusioned. I absolutely did not realize all those flaws existed till the bright sunshine shone on my face and I looked in to a perfect mirror. It has taken a little bit of getting used to and it really bothered me for a time.

One day I was getting ready to go somewhere and of course I don't go out without looking the best I can. I stopped and thought, well heck fire I'm being stupid. The same person lives behind all those wrinkles, gray hair, and stooped and hurting body. I'm still me at 65 same as I was at 20. I still have dreams, hopes, and thoughts of going to Ireland, Holland, and France just like I had when I was 25. I still have the same heart beating inside me even though it is slowing me down a bit now. I can still love, laugh, and live same as I did as a teen. I'm still me and all these wrinkles are mostly laugh lines. My body is like an antique, old but more valuable now with all the wisdom from years of learning and doing. Hey World! Look out I'm still here. I still have fire in this ol' furnace. YEP!!!!

SUMMER JOB

4-29-10...SUMMER JOB

All pops used to be called just Cokes. They came in 6 ounce bottles. A case of 'Cokes' came in a wooden crate sort of thing. You had to pay a deposit on the bottle and when you took it back you got your deposit back. We never had a case of Coke in our house and only one to drink now and again. When we decided we could make a few cents by returning bottles we asked Hall Parks and he gave us an old busted up case to store our bottles in. Brenda and I would walk up and down road picking up the bottles someone had pitched. Not many were pitched in our neighborhood but on the other side of the tracks where people seemed to have more the pickings were pretty good. We worked hard at our 'Job'. No one else was doing this it seemed till we started then you had to be fast to get there before someone else picked them up. One day I skidded in just in front of a big bully who will remain unnamed and the battle was on. In getting in front of him I knocked him down on the gravel and skinned him up a bit. I said I was sorry and I meant that but he wasn't very gracious about it. He was a big bully and a bunch bigger and older than us but he had been told before by my Daddy that he “Would Not” jump on his kids. So He decided he was going to see that we got nary a bottle. Well he should have known better. Brenda and I had bested him before bunches of times.
First we went to Hall Parks store everyday and asked everyone who came in if we could have their bottles. Sometimes they drank them in the store and handed them to us but mostly they promised to save them for us. There were still those who would throw the bottles out the car window but not as many and we got lots of them to. That left Mr Bully coming up on the short end of the stick. My goodness was he mad. He knocked me down on the road one day and said, “Oh I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that”. Well he did mean to do it and I knew it so I tore in to him. Now I have always known that a bully is all blow and bluff and they back off when you turn on them. This bully had tried pushing us before and it never worked. He was tall so my head reached about 1/3 of the way up his chest and he was big but with Brenda to back me up he backed way off in a hurry. He could have taken hold of the two of us and knocked our heads together but he didn't do that which I am grateful for .
All the rest of that summer Brenda and I had free pickings of all the coke bottles on the roads plus the ones saved for us. We had enough to buy us each a pair of white buck shoes for school when it started and we had enjoyed pop sickles and candy a few times also. We were pretty proud of ourselves when we walked in to the 5th grade class room on the first day of school that year. Yep Proud as could be.

NOT REALLY MY BEST DAY

4-27-10...NOT REALLY MY BEST DAY

Someone said something to me today that brought this unpleasant memory to me. One of those things that was very unpleasant at the time but years later was funny.
After going through so much unhappiness & hardship I finally was in the room right outside the Courtroom waiting for my case to be called. Finally I would be granted a divorce and I'd be released from hell on earth. Of course when I get nervous and anxious my bladder erupts like a volcano and will not be held back. I thought I would have time to go to the bathroom just outside the room I was in. Mamma went with me and waited at the door to keep all undesirables away from me. I locked the door and very quickly got my business done. When I tried to unlock the door it would not unlock. That knob just turner round and round in my hand. I hollered, “Mamma see if you can open this door”. She tried and told me she couldn't open it that it just turned all the way around. OMG! “Mamma do something I gotta get out of here before they call me”. “Hold on Clydene I'm going to get help”. “No Mamma don't leave me in here, get me out”. I had reverted very quickly back to the Child going to her Mamma for help. I didn't want my Mamma to leave me. I was getting very claustrophobic and very fast. Mamma of course didn't want to leave me but there was no other way. She went in search of a janitor or something and I started bellering and bawling. Oh No, I was thinking ,If I lose my turn what is going to happen. OMG OMG!! Several times someone came to the door and rattled it. “I can't unlock the door”, I'd wail. Now here is where the Phrase started that was to drive me to murderous thoughts. “TURN THE LITTLE KNOB”. Well DUH Don't you think I've tried that. “IT DON”T WORK” I'd yell only to hear it again and again from others. There was a big window which I started pecking on but I was on the top floor so I wasn't getting through to anyone. I even was looking for a way to climb down the side of the building. Who knows, I might of tried that but the window wouldn't open either. Good Grief, didn't anything work in this joint. A darn death trap is what it is. Why I could die in here. My mind was really working overtime.
When I heard Mamma's voice I burst out bawling again. “Mamma, get me out of here. Hurry”. Ok Honey we are going to get you out. Now stop crying”. Boy Oh Boy was I ever backslid in to childhood now.
Mamma told me she had found the janitor and he would have me out in a minute. He walked up there, twisted the knob, and said “It's Locked”. Oh good grief, didn't I already know that? Next he said, “Turn the little knob”. Now that threw me over the top in a hurry. I got hysterical. That man said Turn the little knob again, then said it again. I came unhinged!! “Mamma, get thart stupid man outta here and get someone with some sense to get me out of here. I can't stand this another minute. I could hear Mamma getting panicked. “Move Over”, I'll open this door” She said.
And as I live and breathe she did. She just politely took hold of the knob and opened the door. Just like that, that sucker opened. Yes It Did!!
Mamma said “Lets go Clydene, they just now called your case”. I got to the door and the deputy led me to the courtroom with a little smile on his face. I started to ask him what was so funny but thought better of it. When I got in the Courtroom there were several with those goofy smiles on their face. I was mortified when my Attorney told me that the deputy had announced to the court that I was locked in the bathroom but on my way.
It took me many years to see the humor in this and I still have to look close to see it. Terrible!!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF A PIP SQUEAK

4-26-10...FOR THE LOVE OF A PIP SQUEAK

Recalling things takes a lot out of me these days because my memory is not as good as it was. Remembering also puts so much back in to my life that the effort is well worth it. Sitting down and trying to remember a specific thing is impossible almost. It is smells, colors, words, people and so many things that trigger a memory. Sometimes the memory is so fleeting it is gone in a few seconds but sometimes it starts so many things to roll through my mind that is is staggering. I hope my memory is the last thing that goes from me. I'd be lost without all my lovely memories.
Brenda and I made so many memories that they boggle my mind at times. We had such a full life full of twists and turns, in's and outs, and giggles and tears. There are things I'd rather not remember sometimes because those were the times we were on the outs and fighting over some stupid thing.
Once we both decided we liked the same boy. We had google eyes over a boy that will remain unnamed here. He was probably the ugliest thing you ever laid eyes on. His voice was a big whine and he couldn't see a dang thing resulting in a pair of thick glasses that made his eyes look like two big fried eggs that someone had burned. The less likely one in the world that we would both fall madly in love with. I think we were 12 years old so of course it was puppy love but no less hurtful none the less.
We argued and fought like wild cats. Our Daddies thought it was comical but our Mamma's tried to talk us out of it. I said, “Brenda you know he likes me best you are just stubborn”. She'd say “No Clydene he likes me and can't stand you”. It started as just words but before you knew it a full blown cat fight broke out in my bedroom one day. Mamma broke it up and made us apologize to one another and sent Brenda home.
The next day in school we carried the battle on and had to be separated again. The Teachers shamed us and asked how we thought the boy felt about our silliness. I think he liked it fine to tell you the truth but he would never have said so.
We completely stopped talking to one another. One day in school we literally got in a fight over him. I mean literally because he was in the middle. We were both a good head taller and outweighed him several pounds so when we started tussling over him he got the worst of it. In the battle somehow his big glasses got knocked off his face and he started swinging. We both were standing there with our mouths open because we were shocked that he had the nerve to dare to hit us. Of course he couldn't see and all the poor thing could do was swing and try to get rid of the two crazy things that had hold of him. He swung his fist, hit Brenda in the nose, came back with it and hit me smack dab in the eye.
Now he'd done it! We could fight one another but woe to the one who dared to touch either one of us. If the teacher hadn't come on the scene we planned to hurt that little pip squeak. How dare he hurt Brenda, How dare he hurt Clydene!!!
That was the end of that great love affair for both of us by golly. I don't think in all the coming years we ever fell in “LOVE” with the same boy again. Heck no, That was too much trouble and got us in way too many messes! I'm just so relieved and happy that we didn't break the poor boys glasses. Our Parents would have had to pay for them and they certainly couldn't have afforded that.
Brenda and I love one another unconditionally then and now but we fought too and the fights were humdingers!!!!

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

4-24-10...THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

I debated with myself about whether I was going to tell this. No, I'll look stupid, and yes What the heck if I do. Well I'm here so heck must have won out.
The storms last night were really bad. I like storms, don't mind them a bit but I'd rather they come in the day so I can see them.
I was startled out of a good sleep about 3:30 AM this morning. It was coming a rip roarin toad strangler of a storm. The wind was blowing really hard and rain was coming down in sheets. Now I would have just gone on back to sleep but I heard a big commotion in the carport. Banging around something awful. Then someone started pounding on the door.
I jumped out of bed in a hurry because I figured someone needed help or was coming to tell me a tornado was coming. Don was snoring like a freight train but I tried hollering at him anyway which was useless..
I stumbled around and found my flashlight, which is always on my nightstand and off I went. I can't run anymore but sometimes I can walk fast so I was walking fast. I saw that the motion light was on and I saw someone standing all slumped over in the door. Oh my goodness someone is hurt I thought. I liked to have never got the door open. The wind was blowing against it and I discovered that whoever was there was leaning on it. “You need to move so I can open the door”, I hollered. I kept pushing and he wouldn't move over. Finally he kind of fell over to the side enough for me to open the door. When it was finally open I smacked head on with that durn sucker and we both fell backward in to the room with him on top. Oh My Gosh!! I was screaming, fighting, and scratching for all I was worth. I had dropped my flashlight and the power was off so I didn't have a light to see. I said, “Well Lord this is it unless you go wake Don up I'm a goner because this sucker has me penned down”. I was crying and slobbering like an old screech owl caught in a trap. Finally I noticed that this thing on me wasn't moving a bit. In fact I reached and put my hand where his face was but there was no face, he had it covered with what felt like a tow sack. Well Crap, He must be passed out or something. I had calmed down a little bit by then and started thinking more clear. Instead of fighting I just moved over as much as I could and tried to scooch my way out from under him. In a few scooches I was free and reached to my side for my big ol' flashlight. I got up on my knees and just flailed the heck outta him. The flashlight came on and I could finally see my attacker.
Now here is the hardest part to tell. TEE HEE I had a area rug rolled up sitting beside the door that I was gonna ask the trash man to pick up. It had fallen over in all the wind and was against the storm door. I pushed on the door and it went back just enough for me to get the door part way open. Oh Good Grief, How stupid!!! I had been fighting with a rug for heaven's sake. Don had laid there snug in his bed snoring all the time so I don't have to tell him. I wasn't intending to tell a soul, nary a person was gonna know. I was embarrassed as all get out last night but today the more I thought about it the madder I got. If it had really been some ax murderer or something Don would not have been a speck of help now would he. I'd almost tell him the story just so I could give him a piece of my mind, WELLL--- Almost but I'm not quiet that stupid yet. NOPE!!!

WASHING THE DISHES

4-23-10...I WASHED THE DISHES

When I was too young and little I wanted to wash dishes but when the time came that I could and Mamma made me do it I hated it. One day Mamma was busy doing something else and I was dwaddling over the dishes. I just kept thinking there had to be a better way of doing the job. I raked all the scraps on a plate and took them out to throw to Ol' Tip for his supper. I forgot to bring something to rake it off the plate so I set it down on the ground and went back for a spoon. When I got back Ol' Tip was licking the last of the scraps off the plate. HUH OH, I didn't think that was gonna go over too good with Mamma so I hurried to pick the plate up. Why heck fire that plate was clean as a whistle and shined like a new penny. HMMMM! Why Not? Yep why not indeed. I hurried back in the house with my clean' plate, sit it up in the safe, grabbed two more and here I go. When all the plates were done I started with bowls, etc. All along I was neatly stacking them away. Boy howdy now I'd stumbled on to something here. Yep, this was gonna work out great!
I went to the porch with a big iron skillet and bang, clang, here it went across the concrete. Oops! Better be careful. Don't wanna break any of Mamma's things. Nope. I set the skillet down in front of Ol' Tip and decided I'd just set myself down there too and rest a spell. Shoot fire this washing dishes could run in to work.
I was sitting there just as proud of myself as a speckled pup when Mamma came up behind me. “CLYDENE, What in the world do you think you're doin'?” Just scared the bee juices outta' me. “Good grief Mamma, You scared me to death”! “Never mind Clydene I said what are you doin'” I scrambled up really fast but wasn't watching what I was doing. In my hurry I flipped right off the porch and out on my face in the mess that Ol' Tip had made. Gross! I got up and very politely said, “Mamma the dishes are all done”. Of course Mamma knew in a glance just exactly HOW' I had done the dishes and she sure wasn't about to give me any medals for my work. NOPE!
She marched me back in the kitchen and started taking plates and bowls down. “Mamma look at them, they are clean as a whistle”. Mamma was sure nuff' not impressed. She made me wash every one of them and put them in the rinse water pan. She put a little bit of purex in them to sanitize them. When I got the dishes all put away, The second time, I had learned a good lesson for sure. Could be my stinging butt might help me not forget it either. Good Grief! Whatever possessed me to pull that anyway? I certainly knew better. I was always as stubborn as a barnyard mule and had to learn it all the hard way. YEP!!!

THE MAD GUINEAS

4-21-10...MAD GUINEAS

Did you ever see a bunch of guinea hens congregating? It is quiet a sight. They will all huddle in a sort of circle and chatter. Daddy said it looked like a bunch of old women in their bonnets gossiping. Mamma didn't like that much. She said it could just as well be a bunch of old men.

We had some guinea hens once when I was a kid. They were loud but very useful. They caught bugs by the millions and were as good as any watch dog for alarming you to something or someone who shouldn't be there. They would even attack a snake and they usually won the fight. They roosted in one of our big walnut trees at night and if you heard them start chattering you knew something was amiss.

A cousin of ours that came to visit sometimes didn't like our guineas and though they were of a gentle nature around us they flat didn't like Curtis. I'd never seen them attack anyone else so we were never sure why they got him.

One day we were in the front yard playing and Curtis came walking up. He figured he was gonna scare the stuffins out of us. He snuk up behind us and grabbed Norman and put him on his shoulder. Well that is what he intended to do but it didn't quiet work out that way. When he grabbed Norman we all started screaming and here came those guinea hens chattering up a storm. It was a mad chatter. You could tell the difference. They didn't need to get in their huddle and talk it over for this one. Heck no. They attacked! I mean they climbed Curtis. Covered his body. There he stood too stunned to do anything but splutter and look wild. He finally started swatting and fighting which just made the old hens madder than hornets. We thought it was the funniest thing we ever saw and we were giggling. I heard Curtis say, “Get these d----d b-----s off me it aint funny”. Well I was mortified by his language and I was rushing to tell on him for talking that way. Didn't have too though because Daddy, Mamma, and Grandma were standing on the porch. They too were laughing hysterically. Daddy did finally get the guineas off Curtis but they were right on his tail as he ran to get in the house. Mamma was saying “Now y'all this aint giggle giggle a bit funny. Giggle giggle, He could have been giggle giggle hurt bad.”! Grandma was busy examining Curtis and she too was giggling with each breath. Daddy was just flat slapping his knees he was giggling so hard. Don't think he was able to say anything in between. What he did say when everything died down to a soft rumble was, “I told you they were a bunch of old gossiping women”. I don't remember if Curtis got in trouble for his language or not. Years later I brought the incident up to him and had to tell on him again for his bad language. TEE HEE Don't mess with a bunch of old hens, human or fowl! NOPE!!

TRAINS AND THINGS

4-19-10...GOING HOME ON A TRAIN

I heard a train whistle this morning, a wailing mournful sound way somewhere in the distance. There is not a RR track within 20 miles of me so I don't know if the sound was carrying a long distance or whether it was wishful thinking.

When I heard it I was instantly transported back to my childhood and that old house we lived in down by the tracks. We definitely heard them then, loud and clear, mostly loud. That sound this morning coming to me across the early morning air was pure music to my ears.

I can just vaguely remember Daddy calling me and Mamma out to the back porch one morning just like this morning. He said “Just listen Clydene. That is a steam engine and this is one of the last ones you will ever hear”. “Why Daddy?” “Honey they say they have a train that will be better than this one. This train will go faster. Darn fools are gonna get somebody killed is what they are gonna do, next thing you know they are gonna say we can fly through the air like them crazy men”. Daddy was talking about the Wright Bros. And they had flown but I guess we didn't know that.

The old steam engines would come hissing and chugging down the tracks in a halo of steam and smoke and it stunk to high heaven. The whistle on it was a low moaning sound as I remember it. I don't remember a lot about it but I'll never forget my Daddy calling us out to see it.

Trains got fancier after that. And today they are fancier still. Used to we could be out in the yard when one came roaring through, we would raise our arms up and the conductor would blow his whistle. Just one short spurt so it wouldn't confuse people on the crossing just a way up. Then we'd wait till the Red Caboose got there and the Guy in it would throw out newspapers from all over for us to read. We kids didn't care about the newspapers but there would always be something wrapped up in them for us. Maybe suckers or gum. Now you would be afraid to eat anything like that for fear you would be poisoned or worse. One day the train had to stop for some reason and the Caboose was right in front of our house. That man came out on the end of the car and talked to us. Wow! Were we ever excited about that. All our friends were envious of us when we told them that story and boy howdy were we struttin' high.

Lots of things take me back home to my childhood but no time has been more needed than the trip I took down memory lane on a train this morning just as it started getting light outside. Made me feel all new again. Like I could just run up the road barefooted with the wind in my face, all fresh and happy. Not a care in the world. Nothing more healing in this world than going HOME!!! YEP!

LILAC BUSH