1-19-11...CHANGES
Winter evenings when I was growing up consisted of Family time. We did everything together. In our house that included Brenda and/or her Brother Paul. We all watched TV, after we got one, or played some game that we could do on paper. We improvised to play checkers on a board someone thrown away and coke bottle caps and buttons.. A cousin who was in the Army came in on leave and brought us a Chinese Checker game that entertained us many a cold night at the Kitchen table. Someone gave us some Jig saw puzzles once and we all did those together while eating popcorn or parched peanuts. I don't really know what Families do now but I suspect it is nothing like we did 60 + years ago.
Sometimes Brenda and I made Fudge on Friday nights and we all shared the goodies together. I can still taste that old fashioned fudge. Not a bit like the fudge we all make today.
On summer evenings we played outside until dark where we found lots to do but Oh My those cold winter evenings stand out in my mind more.
Brenda and I had stayed out one night to a smidge past dark and we concocted a plan to scare the pants off everyone else inside. We were going to scratch on a screen and run a stick over the drop siding in the back of the house. Now Mamma and Daddy knew us well so somehow they had already figured out we were up to something. When Daddy glimpsed us heading to the back of the house he decided to beat us at our own little game.
It was a little darker than we really wanted it to be and that was a problem right away. As usual Brenda was hanging on to me and she said, “Clydene let's not do it, I wanna go in”. “No Brenda come on now you said you would help me, Now Come On”. Well since Brenda wasn't about to turn loose of my arm she reluctantly tagged along. First thing we did was look around for a good stick. Brenda wasn't about to do that either so here I was all bent over looking for a stick with her hanging on to my arm. “Brenda turn loose of me”, I whispered. That only made her hang on tighter. Brenda was always there to help me but only because she was grown to me somewhere. I wasn't afraid of much anything so it irritated me a bit because Brenda never corp orated with me. I was digging around on the ground and we must have looked funny with me bent over and Brenda hanging on. Daddy was standing just a few steps away and he got tickled. He tried to be quiet but snickered which Brenda heard. I heard it too but I thought it was Brenda. “Brenda shut up someone's gonna hear you”. Brenda didn't answer me but Daddy snickered again. I still thought it was Brenda. I guess Daddy decided we saw him and he started toward us. Brenda saw him move but I didn't. She was still grown to me and she was going to run. Now Brenda was a coward but she was strong as a bull and she was moving on dragging me behind her. She fell with me on top of her but she still held on like a vice. Daddy saw that she didn't know who he was so he said, “Girls”. He was still laughing and this time I heard him and knew it wasn't Brenda. Now I'm scared and I'm gonna move too. Brenda was heavier than me but this little big britches got up with Brenda dangling on my arm like a bracelet and tore outta there like all the Demons of Hell were after me. Daddy was so tickled by now that all he could do was beat his legs and laugh. In nothing flat I was in the front of the house going up on the porch. “Where'd that thing go Brenda”? “I don't know Clydene lets get in the house”. Just then Daddy walked up on the porch and we could see who he was. “Daddy there is something in the back yard and it's after us. Hurry lets get in the house”! Daddy was still tickled but trying to straighten up because he saw now how scared we were.
It took a while but we finally got it all sorted out and we understood that it was only Daddy. He felt bad for scaring us so bad and told us he was sorry to which Mamma said, “Well Girls you got the tables turned on you didn't you”? It took a while for us to live that down. The boys told everyone they saw after that and we sure took some ribbing. That was one time my bravery fizzled out on me by golly!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
ALWAYS GROWING
1-12-11...ALWAYS GROWING
As I sit here in the early morning it is quiet and peaceful. I love this time of day. I remember, think, ponder, and just talk to myself.
Not goofiness like I'm prone to do but deep heartfelt thoughts as I look back over my long years on this earth. There have been tears and giggles, heartbreak and happiness, regret and shame, and wonderful times of such pure joy that I could hardly contain it.
Nothing remains the same. Things don't last whether it be good or bad. A storm may come crushing down on you leaving destruction behind. But storms don't last, they quickly move by. You sometimes think everything is good with your world but that don't last forever either. That is just the way of things, they will eventually change.
Sometimes we can straighten everything out but mostly we clean up and start over. Sometimes I feel like a young tender sapling amongst a huge Forrest. Scared, alone, unsure, and generally overwhelmed. I strive for more trying to look up but at the same time knowing I need to watch where I'm going for fear of being trampled under stronger things. Looking up is scary being surrounded as you are by things bigger and stronger, but looking down only becomes confusing and more scary.
You look around trying to find a friendly place and common ground with something. Your tender branches are not able to withstand the harsh realities of where you have found yourself.
Nothing around you is helpful but ready to suck your roots dry and destroy you. You know there is something or somewhere you need to be or go but you are lost and alone.
When I was young and carefree things seemed perfect. I'm glad I didn't know what was to come. I'm sure God gave me that wonderful magical childhood as a tiny sapling to prepare me for later when things got rough. As I have aged things have changed with me. I no longer dream of the future and all the great things I'm going to achieve. I am happy with the way things are most of the time. My perspective on most things has done a complete turn about.
My resistance to things like, problems, adversities, feelings, indeed my body does not respond to pain the way it always did. My feelings are much more easy to hurt and I'm finding the least thing and I go on a crying pity party. You would think that I'd have developed a shell hard as nails and not pent ratable by now but no, I'm very vulnerable to everything and I detest that. It takes years for a sapling to become a mighty oak and in the years spent growing it is never easy. There are those who would cut you down before you have a chance to achieve anything. You bend and crack but saplings are hard to break they bounce back.
I have achieved the status of an Oak now. The sapling that I was no longer exists. I am preening my branches and saying. I'm still here, look at me, I made it up out of the deep of the Forrest. My leaves are not ready to fall yet but they will. I just want to leave something behind that just maybe a young sapling can take root from. I hope I will.
As I sit here in the early morning it is quiet and peaceful. I love this time of day. I remember, think, ponder, and just talk to myself.
Not goofiness like I'm prone to do but deep heartfelt thoughts as I look back over my long years on this earth. There have been tears and giggles, heartbreak and happiness, regret and shame, and wonderful times of such pure joy that I could hardly contain it.
Nothing remains the same. Things don't last whether it be good or bad. A storm may come crushing down on you leaving destruction behind. But storms don't last, they quickly move by. You sometimes think everything is good with your world but that don't last forever either. That is just the way of things, they will eventually change.
Sometimes we can straighten everything out but mostly we clean up and start over. Sometimes I feel like a young tender sapling amongst a huge Forrest. Scared, alone, unsure, and generally overwhelmed. I strive for more trying to look up but at the same time knowing I need to watch where I'm going for fear of being trampled under stronger things. Looking up is scary being surrounded as you are by things bigger and stronger, but looking down only becomes confusing and more scary.
You look around trying to find a friendly place and common ground with something. Your tender branches are not able to withstand the harsh realities of where you have found yourself.
Nothing around you is helpful but ready to suck your roots dry and destroy you. You know there is something or somewhere you need to be or go but you are lost and alone.
When I was young and carefree things seemed perfect. I'm glad I didn't know what was to come. I'm sure God gave me that wonderful magical childhood as a tiny sapling to prepare me for later when things got rough. As I have aged things have changed with me. I no longer dream of the future and all the great things I'm going to achieve. I am happy with the way things are most of the time. My perspective on most things has done a complete turn about.
My resistance to things like, problems, adversities, feelings, indeed my body does not respond to pain the way it always did. My feelings are much more easy to hurt and I'm finding the least thing and I go on a crying pity party. You would think that I'd have developed a shell hard as nails and not pent ratable by now but no, I'm very vulnerable to everything and I detest that. It takes years for a sapling to become a mighty oak and in the years spent growing it is never easy. There are those who would cut you down before you have a chance to achieve anything. You bend and crack but saplings are hard to break they bounce back.
I have achieved the status of an Oak now. The sapling that I was no longer exists. I am preening my branches and saying. I'm still here, look at me, I made it up out of the deep of the Forrest. My leaves are not ready to fall yet but they will. I just want to leave something behind that just maybe a young sapling can take root from. I hope I will.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
MISS DODD
1-5-11...MISS DODD
Miss Dodd was a small woman, all crippled up so she walked like a spider. She had a walking stick that she would sometimes swing around like she was going to hit someone. She had a big smile always on her face with snuff stains on her chin, down each cheek, and all over her dress. Miss Dodd couldn't talk plain and her voice was gravelly. We were scared spitless of her. When we would go with our parents to Keys store(the only one close enough to walk to) sometimes she would come down the road talking to herself. I tell you now my bones would shake and my chin would quiver. Our parents tried to tell us she was a gentle soul and wouldn't hurt a fly but we were not having any of that business. Nosireee, We were just flat out scared. No two ways about that. Nope. As we got a little older we were allowed to walk up to the store by ourselves but if we saw Miss Dodd coming down the road we just very politely turned around and went right on back the way we came, faster than we came. The four of us were in the store one day and Miss Dodd just rumbled in the door singing. Now at the time we thought she was screechin' at us. She swung her stick in the air like we had seen her do before. Still don't know what that was all about, don't guess anybody did. She was just accepted the way she was. Well by most people she was but when it came to Brenda and I, now that was a different story! Yep. “Clydene lets run”, Brenda grabbed her brother and went draggin' him and I did the same with my brother. The boys were protesting big time. They were planning on a strawberry drink and just wasn't scared of that lady. Goofy things anyway, didn't they know she would probably boil and eat them. Lela Key knew we were scared of Miss Dodd so she tried to stop us, but heck fire we were gettin' outta there. Only problem Miss Dodd had stopped right inside the store and there was no other way out. Lela was talking but Miss Dodd couldn't hear good and we weren't listinin', we were planin' our great escape. Mama had told me that Miss Dodd was confused but she was a sweet lady. Shoot! Did she think I believed that? Heck no I never believed that and neither did Brenda. The boys were too goofy to know any better. They'd believe anything long as they got that strawberry drink. We ground to a halt about halfway to the door where Miss Dodd was standing and just stood there not knowing what the heck we were'a gonna' do. Miss Dodd looked at us and smiled that big snuffy smile and started toward us. Brenda grabbed hold of my arm and started trying to drag me back the other way, “Clydennneee come on”. I still had hold of my little brother but when Brenda jerked me he jerked free of me and took off to the drink machine where Brenda's brother already was. I froze, I mean slap'dab froze till my bones locked up. As Miss Dodd came forward Lela Key took hold of us and I think I must have flew in the air a foot or two, sure seemed like it. “Breeennndddaaa, Her helper came I told you she had a helper, I just knew she did”. Lela wrapped her big arms around us and held on tight talking in a soothing voice. She turned us around and hugged us to her ample bosom and kept talking till we calmed down. She led us over to the drink machine where our Brothers waited and got us all a strawberry drink. She took us out on the high porch where there was a bench built across the front and stayed with us till Miss Dodd got what she came after, paid Wallace Key and came out the door, smiled at us and just went on down the steps like nothin' had happened. I don't know what Lela said to us that day, think it must'v run off my brain but I do know she talked to our Mama's about it and it was several years before we got to walk to Keys Store alone again. I don't know what happened to Miss Dodd either, wish I did. We saw her several times after that but we were not quiet as scared of her again. Now I said "NOT QUIET AS SCARED" Did ya notice that? We were still scared, just not as much. I'm happy that Miss Dodd didn't really know how scared we were of her. Poor old lady. Didn't seem to have anyone to take care of her. I really don't know about that. Wish I did. Bless her heart. It would have been nice knowing her later in my life when I wasn't just a silly kid.
Miss Dodd was a small woman, all crippled up so she walked like a spider. She had a walking stick that she would sometimes swing around like she was going to hit someone. She had a big smile always on her face with snuff stains on her chin, down each cheek, and all over her dress. Miss Dodd couldn't talk plain and her voice was gravelly. We were scared spitless of her. When we would go with our parents to Keys store(the only one close enough to walk to) sometimes she would come down the road talking to herself. I tell you now my bones would shake and my chin would quiver. Our parents tried to tell us she was a gentle soul and wouldn't hurt a fly but we were not having any of that business. Nosireee, We were just flat out scared. No two ways about that. Nope. As we got a little older we were allowed to walk up to the store by ourselves but if we saw Miss Dodd coming down the road we just very politely turned around and went right on back the way we came, faster than we came. The four of us were in the store one day and Miss Dodd just rumbled in the door singing. Now at the time we thought she was screechin' at us. She swung her stick in the air like we had seen her do before. Still don't know what that was all about, don't guess anybody did. She was just accepted the way she was. Well by most people she was but when it came to Brenda and I, now that was a different story! Yep. “Clydene lets run”, Brenda grabbed her brother and went draggin' him and I did the same with my brother. The boys were protesting big time. They were planning on a strawberry drink and just wasn't scared of that lady. Goofy things anyway, didn't they know she would probably boil and eat them. Lela Key knew we were scared of Miss Dodd so she tried to stop us, but heck fire we were gettin' outta there. Only problem Miss Dodd had stopped right inside the store and there was no other way out. Lela was talking but Miss Dodd couldn't hear good and we weren't listinin', we were planin' our great escape. Mama had told me that Miss Dodd was confused but she was a sweet lady. Shoot! Did she think I believed that? Heck no I never believed that and neither did Brenda. The boys were too goofy to know any better. They'd believe anything long as they got that strawberry drink. We ground to a halt about halfway to the door where Miss Dodd was standing and just stood there not knowing what the heck we were'a gonna' do. Miss Dodd looked at us and smiled that big snuffy smile and started toward us. Brenda grabbed hold of my arm and started trying to drag me back the other way, “Clydennneee come on”. I still had hold of my little brother but when Brenda jerked me he jerked free of me and took off to the drink machine where Brenda's brother already was. I froze, I mean slap'dab froze till my bones locked up. As Miss Dodd came forward Lela Key took hold of us and I think I must have flew in the air a foot or two, sure seemed like it. “Breeennndddaaa, Her helper came I told you she had a helper, I just knew she did”. Lela wrapped her big arms around us and held on tight talking in a soothing voice. She turned us around and hugged us to her ample bosom and kept talking till we calmed down. She led us over to the drink machine where our Brothers waited and got us all a strawberry drink. She took us out on the high porch where there was a bench built across the front and stayed with us till Miss Dodd got what she came after, paid Wallace Key and came out the door, smiled at us and just went on down the steps like nothin' had happened. I don't know what Lela said to us that day, think it must'v run off my brain but I do know she talked to our Mama's about it and it was several years before we got to walk to Keys Store alone again. I don't know what happened to Miss Dodd either, wish I did. We saw her several times after that but we were not quiet as scared of her again. Now I said "NOT QUIET AS SCARED" Did ya notice that? We were still scared, just not as much. I'm happy that Miss Dodd didn't really know how scared we were of her. Poor old lady. Didn't seem to have anyone to take care of her. I really don't know about that. Wish I did. Bless her heart. It would have been nice knowing her later in my life when I wasn't just a silly kid.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
MY FIRST BOQUET
1-4-11...MY FIRST BOQUET
I have mentioned some of my friends from school at different times. I'd like to talk about my Friend Tommy today.I first saw Tommy when I was five yrs. old. I was at my Aunt Georgia's with my Parents visiting. Tommy lived with his parents just down the lane. Tommy and his Mom came up to Aunt Georgias. Tommy was the cutest little boy I'd ever seen with big blue eyes and blond hair. Tommy and I were outside playing. Aunt Georgia was sooo! fussy about neatness and she always had a beautiful yard. I was shy but Tommy wasn't. I knew better than to pick Aunt Georgias flowers, Tommy didn't. I had a good time playing with Tommy in Aunt Georgias yard. Tommy picked a big boquet of Aunt Georgias flowers and handed them to me just as his Mom, My Mom, and Aunt Georgia came on the porch. I will never in my life forget how he smiled so sweet when he handed those flowers to me. I can still see it today. “Come on Tommy we gotta' go”his Mom said. “No!” He said. I had taken the flowers and heard a big gasp. It was Aunt Georgia and her mouth was wide open as I clutched the boquet in my grubby little hands. "Tommy! You weren't supposed to pick those without asking". Oh! My Aunt gushed, It's allright, she lied. She was livid inside but trying to be polite. Anyway Tommy said "I want Clydene to go home with us". It's Ok with me his Mom said. I backed up and was shaking my head no. “She don't want to go Tommy”. As I said, I was very shy, Tommy wasn't. Tommy got hold of my shirt sleeve and was gonna' take me home with him anyway. I was jerking back and Tommy was pulling. "Tommy, turn loose of her you are gonna' tear her clothes off", his Mom said. Now folks I really did want to go but I was just too dang bashful. They went on home and My Aunt started moaning about her flowers. “Oh My Goodness, Clydene you knew better”. “Did You pick them Clydene”, asked my Mom. “No! Tommy picked em Mamma”. “Then Georgia (we pronounced it GEORGY and still do) Then Georgy don't get on to her”. That evening Aunt Georgy's boys came home from school and when they found out they started teasing me. “Clydene's got a boyfriend, Clydene's in love”. Hey! I was five and didn't even know what having a boyfriend meant. But I knew how to get my claws out and I did just that. Tore in to them like a mama cat protecting her babies. Aunt Georgy was splutterin' and almost foamin'at the mouth. Why the nerve of a five year old hurting her two babies who were 11 and 15. How rude of her. When we started to first grade in Sep. There was Tommy sitting across the aisle from me. He was the only one I knew so of course we were instant friends. I cried every day till recess when I could get outside with Brenda. Tommy would smile at me and it made me feel better. He would hand pencils, gum, candy, ect. across to me when I was crying. Now in 4th&5th. we got 'struck' on each other for a while. Puppy love for me. Don't know if Tommy felt the same way or was still just my friend. And Friends we remained through all twelve grades. There were only nine in our graduating class at the very small school. We were friends, almost like sisters and Brothers. We graduated in 1961 and Tommy was gone. Never knew what happened to him. Only saw him once in the many years that followed. Then when I got my first computer my Nephew happened across Tommy's Web Site and gave me the address. I contacted him. WALA' instant friends again. Now I have mentioned these things to Tommy and he doesn't remember a bit of it. It is glued in my memory and I'll never forget the first time someone gave me flowers. Guess that is the difference between boys/men & girls/women. We women remember the sweet things better. YEP!!
I have mentioned some of my friends from school at different times. I'd like to talk about my Friend Tommy today.I first saw Tommy when I was five yrs. old. I was at my Aunt Georgia's with my Parents visiting. Tommy lived with his parents just down the lane. Tommy and his Mom came up to Aunt Georgias. Tommy was the cutest little boy I'd ever seen with big blue eyes and blond hair. Tommy and I were outside playing. Aunt Georgia was sooo! fussy about neatness and she always had a beautiful yard. I was shy but Tommy wasn't. I knew better than to pick Aunt Georgias flowers, Tommy didn't. I had a good time playing with Tommy in Aunt Georgias yard. Tommy picked a big boquet of Aunt Georgias flowers and handed them to me just as his Mom, My Mom, and Aunt Georgia came on the porch. I will never in my life forget how he smiled so sweet when he handed those flowers to me. I can still see it today. “Come on Tommy we gotta' go”his Mom said. “No!” He said. I had taken the flowers and heard a big gasp. It was Aunt Georgia and her mouth was wide open as I clutched the boquet in my grubby little hands. "Tommy! You weren't supposed to pick those without asking". Oh! My Aunt gushed, It's allright, she lied. She was livid inside but trying to be polite. Anyway Tommy said "I want Clydene to go home with us". It's Ok with me his Mom said. I backed up and was shaking my head no. “She don't want to go Tommy”. As I said, I was very shy, Tommy wasn't. Tommy got hold of my shirt sleeve and was gonna' take me home with him anyway. I was jerking back and Tommy was pulling. "Tommy, turn loose of her you are gonna' tear her clothes off", his Mom said. Now folks I really did want to go but I was just too dang bashful. They went on home and My Aunt started moaning about her flowers. “Oh My Goodness, Clydene you knew better”. “Did You pick them Clydene”, asked my Mom. “No! Tommy picked em Mamma”. “Then Georgia (we pronounced it GEORGY and still do) Then Georgy don't get on to her”. That evening Aunt Georgy's boys came home from school and when they found out they started teasing me. “Clydene's got a boyfriend, Clydene's in love”. Hey! I was five and didn't even know what having a boyfriend meant. But I knew how to get my claws out and I did just that. Tore in to them like a mama cat protecting her babies. Aunt Georgy was splutterin' and almost foamin'at the mouth. Why the nerve of a five year old hurting her two babies who were 11 and 15. How rude of her. When we started to first grade in Sep. There was Tommy sitting across the aisle from me. He was the only one I knew so of course we were instant friends. I cried every day till recess when I could get outside with Brenda. Tommy would smile at me and it made me feel better. He would hand pencils, gum, candy, ect. across to me when I was crying. Now in 4th&5th. we got 'struck' on each other for a while. Puppy love for me. Don't know if Tommy felt the same way or was still just my friend. And Friends we remained through all twelve grades. There were only nine in our graduating class at the very small school. We were friends, almost like sisters and Brothers. We graduated in 1961 and Tommy was gone. Never knew what happened to him. Only saw him once in the many years that followed. Then when I got my first computer my Nephew happened across Tommy's Web Site and gave me the address. I contacted him. WALA' instant friends again. Now I have mentioned these things to Tommy and he doesn't remember a bit of it. It is glued in my memory and I'll never forget the first time someone gave me flowers. Guess that is the difference between boys/men & girls/women. We women remember the sweet things better. YEP!!
SUGAR BREAD
1-3-11...SUGAR BREAD
We didn't have much when I was growing and certainly not a lot of sweets and snacks. Mama didn't always have sugar or what she needed to bake sweets. We had sorghum sometimes and My Granny made the best sorghum cakes you ever tasted. The icing was a kind of grayish sauce and I don't know what is was made of, wish now I had asked. We were just sooo! happy to get those cakes now and then when we got home from school. Granny didn't have recipes. If asked she would point to her head and say It's all right here. When I watched her all I could see is that she used her hands and a bowl for most of it. A pinch, a pat, a hand full, two heapin' handful, Etc. Not much help to me. I remember after I was married asking Granny to write down the recipe for a cake she simply called white cake. Well Granny tried to put measurement to it but it just didn't work. My white cake never turned out worth a flip. It was “Granny's Hands” that made those cakes, cookies, pies, puddings, and even doughnuts. YUMMY! They will never be duplicated. Nope
One day I said, “Mama can you make us a Chocolate cake”? “Sorry honey I don't have enough sugar”. “What about puddin'?” “Honey puddin' has to have sugar too”. “OKAY” , I said and just went on about my way. Mama had made bread that day and she told me later that the way I accepted no chocolate cake without a pout or a fuss made her feel so bad. Then she remembered what Granny had fixed for her and her two sisters when they were small. Sugar bread. Now that was not real sweet bread. NOPE! She sliced a good thick slice of her still warm bread, laid it on a plate and sprinkled a bit of sugar, some cinnamon, and poured warm coffee left from breakfast over that. She cut it in half and called Norman an I in. When she put that sugar bread in front of us we tasted it and you would have thought it was a big hunk of Chocolate cake Yep! Granny had fixed it for her and she in turn fixed it for us. Oh what a treat that was. Just a teaspoon or so of sugar and we had our sweet treat. I fixed it as often as I could for My son Richard too and he loved it. Well I've got fresh bread in the kitchen right now. So guess what I'ma'gonna' have after while. YEP! Thank you Mama , Daddy, and Grandparents for my raisin' LOVE YOU !!
We didn't have much when I was growing and certainly not a lot of sweets and snacks. Mama didn't always have sugar or what she needed to bake sweets. We had sorghum sometimes and My Granny made the best sorghum cakes you ever tasted. The icing was a kind of grayish sauce and I don't know what is was made of, wish now I had asked. We were just sooo! happy to get those cakes now and then when we got home from school. Granny didn't have recipes. If asked she would point to her head and say It's all right here. When I watched her all I could see is that she used her hands and a bowl for most of it. A pinch, a pat, a hand full, two heapin' handful, Etc. Not much help to me. I remember after I was married asking Granny to write down the recipe for a cake she simply called white cake. Well Granny tried to put measurement to it but it just didn't work. My white cake never turned out worth a flip. It was “Granny's Hands” that made those cakes, cookies, pies, puddings, and even doughnuts. YUMMY! They will never be duplicated. Nope
One day I said, “Mama can you make us a Chocolate cake”? “Sorry honey I don't have enough sugar”. “What about puddin'?” “Honey puddin' has to have sugar too”. “OKAY” , I said and just went on about my way. Mama had made bread that day and she told me later that the way I accepted no chocolate cake without a pout or a fuss made her feel so bad. Then she remembered what Granny had fixed for her and her two sisters when they were small. Sugar bread. Now that was not real sweet bread. NOPE! She sliced a good thick slice of her still warm bread, laid it on a plate and sprinkled a bit of sugar, some cinnamon, and poured warm coffee left from breakfast over that. She cut it in half and called Norman an I in. When she put that sugar bread in front of us we tasted it and you would have thought it was a big hunk of Chocolate cake Yep! Granny had fixed it for her and she in turn fixed it for us. Oh what a treat that was. Just a teaspoon or so of sugar and we had our sweet treat. I fixed it as often as I could for My son Richard too and he loved it. Well I've got fresh bread in the kitchen right now. So guess what I'ma'gonna' have after while. YEP! Thank you Mama , Daddy, and Grandparents for my raisin' LOVE YOU !!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
PLAYHOUSE
1-1-11...PLAYHOUSE
As I've gotten older I have become more and more sensitive to things. Things I see or hear that either upset me, anger me, or make me happy bring tears to my eyes. I guess I've always been that way up to a point but lately I've had too much time to think I guess because things are flooding back to me like an avalanche and are overpowering me. I like to Think Happy and to have laughter around me and in me. The only way I can seem to do that is to “remember”. Now I can't remember what day it is most days or what I did yesterday, But' I can remember vividly the days of my childhood way down by the Rail Road tracks. Playing in the big yard, climbing the fragrant China-Berry- Trees, and just doing simple things that occupied us for hours. The day Brenda and I made a Play house under the house is one of those memories.
We had found an old wooden crate at Hall Parks store and asked for it. It was a slow go getting it home but we managed. We drug it under the house where we had made chairs out of two big flat rocks and a board. Heck fire, now we had a table and chairs but we needed food and drink. In the house we went in search for something that might serve our purpose. As we looked around in the kitchen we spotted some dishes on the table. Salt and pepper shakers, a couple of coffee cups, and out of the safe two saucers and some forks and spoons. There was about half a loaf of Mama's bread and some strawberry jam on the table which made up our stash. I don't know how we managed not to get caught going out the back door with our treasures but we did.
We had a ball in our playhouse but finally knew we had to get all Mama's things back in the house. It wasn't nearly as simple on the return trip though. We carried it all out in one trip but for some reason going back in wasn't as easy. We were trying to gather it up when we heard Mamma calling us. “Well shoot fire Brenda we're gonna have to wait till she is not in the kitchen”. “Clydene I'm going home now” Brenda answered. She always tried to pull that. Joining in the fun and then skipping out on me. “No you're not Brenda. You gotta help me”. We called back to Mamma that we were under the house which gave us a little time.
We finally figured the coast was clear so we gathered things and crawled out smashing the bread and spilling some jelly in the process. When we were finally out and standing on our feet Brenda bolted. That little snot was going home, She Thought!! I grabbed her dress tail and that thing ripped off at the waist. She started bawling. “Shut up Brenda before you get Mamma out here”. By then we had broke the jelly jar and destroyed the bread, couldn't find the silverware,broken the cups, and ripped Brenda's dress off of her. We started up the china berry tree to try and hide but Mamma was there and the jig was up. Brenda took off through the pasture with me calling her a little scardy cat and Mamma was madder'n'a old wet hen. The bread was for supper so Mamma had to make corn bread. I searched and searched but never did find the silverware. I got a spanking. I said “Mamma Brenda was there too. You gotta spank her too”.
I was sooo! Nice that I reminded Mamma that Brenda needed a spanking when the little escape artist came back. HE HE Now wasn't that sweet of me? NOT!!!
As I've gotten older I have become more and more sensitive to things. Things I see or hear that either upset me, anger me, or make me happy bring tears to my eyes. I guess I've always been that way up to a point but lately I've had too much time to think I guess because things are flooding back to me like an avalanche and are overpowering me. I like to Think Happy and to have laughter around me and in me. The only way I can seem to do that is to “remember”. Now I can't remember what day it is most days or what I did yesterday, But' I can remember vividly the days of my childhood way down by the Rail Road tracks. Playing in the big yard, climbing the fragrant China-Berry- Trees, and just doing simple things that occupied us for hours. The day Brenda and I made a Play house under the house is one of those memories.
We had found an old wooden crate at Hall Parks store and asked for it. It was a slow go getting it home but we managed. We drug it under the house where we had made chairs out of two big flat rocks and a board. Heck fire, now we had a table and chairs but we needed food and drink. In the house we went in search for something that might serve our purpose. As we looked around in the kitchen we spotted some dishes on the table. Salt and pepper shakers, a couple of coffee cups, and out of the safe two saucers and some forks and spoons. There was about half a loaf of Mama's bread and some strawberry jam on the table which made up our stash. I don't know how we managed not to get caught going out the back door with our treasures but we did.
We had a ball in our playhouse but finally knew we had to get all Mama's things back in the house. It wasn't nearly as simple on the return trip though. We carried it all out in one trip but for some reason going back in wasn't as easy. We were trying to gather it up when we heard Mamma calling us. “Well shoot fire Brenda we're gonna have to wait till she is not in the kitchen”. “Clydene I'm going home now” Brenda answered. She always tried to pull that. Joining in the fun and then skipping out on me. “No you're not Brenda. You gotta help me”. We called back to Mamma that we were under the house which gave us a little time.
We finally figured the coast was clear so we gathered things and crawled out smashing the bread and spilling some jelly in the process. When we were finally out and standing on our feet Brenda bolted. That little snot was going home, She Thought!! I grabbed her dress tail and that thing ripped off at the waist. She started bawling. “Shut up Brenda before you get Mamma out here”. By then we had broke the jelly jar and destroyed the bread, couldn't find the silverware,broken the cups, and ripped Brenda's dress off of her. We started up the china berry tree to try and hide but Mamma was there and the jig was up. Brenda took off through the pasture with me calling her a little scardy cat and Mamma was madder'n'a old wet hen. The bread was for supper so Mamma had to make corn bread. I searched and searched but never did find the silverware. I got a spanking. I said “Mamma Brenda was there too. You gotta spank her too”.
I was sooo! Nice that I reminded Mamma that Brenda needed a spanking when the little escape artist came back. HE HE Now wasn't that sweet of me? NOT!!!
MEMORIES
12-31-10...MEMORIES
Remembrances brought to my mind,
By a fragrance from long ago,
When as a young child of tender years,
As my memory just started to grow.
Or maybe a sound of a whistle blow,
While a train moved along a track,
A bicycle tire on a gravelly dirt road,
Would all seem to carry me back.
I'd love to see those things once again,
What the years have slowly replaced,
With family and friends from days gone by,
As in my mind they are traced.
I'm glad for sounds of spring in the air,
The look of fresh fallen snow,
Lightning bug's glow on a summer's night,
The colors of autumn's rainbow.
They're all like a friend in a time of need,
Like family just stopping to see,
I'm so glad when they wander by,
The sounds and smells of my memory.
Remembrances brought to my mind,
By a fragrance from long ago,
When as a young child of tender years,
As my memory just started to grow.
Or maybe a sound of a whistle blow,
While a train moved along a track,
A bicycle tire on a gravelly dirt road,
Would all seem to carry me back.
I'd love to see those things once again,
What the years have slowly replaced,
With family and friends from days gone by,
As in my mind they are traced.
I'm glad for sounds of spring in the air,
The look of fresh fallen snow,
Lightning bug's glow on a summer's night,
The colors of autumn's rainbow.
They're all like a friend in a time of need,
Like family just stopping to see,
I'm so glad when they wander by,
The sounds and smells of my memory.
Friday, December 31, 2010
NOT A GOOD TIME
12-30-10...NOT A GOOD TIME
I try to be happy most of the time and succeed usually. But while Christmas is a Joyous fun time for some I know that there are some who it is a sad time for. I am one of the sad ones at any Holiday. It is not a scrooge Bah Humbug thing but a hurting heart thing.
I have always kept it at bay but this year I could not. Every year it has been harder. I tried to not ruin the time for my loved ones. Some of them knew and asked but how do you explain it. No one can walk in someone else's shoes and know their heart. Most of my family do understand up to a point and never condemn me for it. They love me and they want to help. But there are those that I must be around (in laws) who don't understand. They stuck knives through my heart this year and poured salt on the wounds. I need to spend the time quietly and just honor the concept of what Christmas really means. I make excuses for my actions and just offer my presence so the family that we have left can be intact. I think of past times when everything was so different. When I was happy and joyous. I watch as the kids eyes light up and know this is their time and I have no right to take even one moment away from them. I want them to have the kind of memories I have now. The warm and fuzzy happy heart feelings that will never leave me. I also want some new memories to carry home with me. Memories that keep my heart intact and carry me on for another year.
Please try and understand the best you can when someone seems unhappy at a time like this. If they can't really blend in and add to the time. Don't presume that you know what they are thinking. Don't call them an old curmudgeon or tell them to let it go. You don't know their heart. They may even have heartaches that you don't know about. Christmas is a time when those feelings surface. There are heartaches that can't be healed. They are always raw and painful. Don't make it worse for them.
This is a hard time for me but it will pass. I will once again be happy and try to be a Blessing to others. I will laugh and giggle and have fun. Just not right now. I have to get through this and I WILL! I always have.
I try to be happy most of the time and succeed usually. But while Christmas is a Joyous fun time for some I know that there are some who it is a sad time for. I am one of the sad ones at any Holiday. It is not a scrooge Bah Humbug thing but a hurting heart thing.
I have always kept it at bay but this year I could not. Every year it has been harder. I tried to not ruin the time for my loved ones. Some of them knew and asked but how do you explain it. No one can walk in someone else's shoes and know their heart. Most of my family do understand up to a point and never condemn me for it. They love me and they want to help. But there are those that I must be around (in laws) who don't understand. They stuck knives through my heart this year and poured salt on the wounds. I need to spend the time quietly and just honor the concept of what Christmas really means. I make excuses for my actions and just offer my presence so the family that we have left can be intact. I think of past times when everything was so different. When I was happy and joyous. I watch as the kids eyes light up and know this is their time and I have no right to take even one moment away from them. I want them to have the kind of memories I have now. The warm and fuzzy happy heart feelings that will never leave me. I also want some new memories to carry home with me. Memories that keep my heart intact and carry me on for another year.
Please try and understand the best you can when someone seems unhappy at a time like this. If they can't really blend in and add to the time. Don't presume that you know what they are thinking. Don't call them an old curmudgeon or tell them to let it go. You don't know their heart. They may even have heartaches that you don't know about. Christmas is a time when those feelings surface. There are heartaches that can't be healed. They are always raw and painful. Don't make it worse for them.
This is a hard time for me but it will pass. I will once again be happy and try to be a Blessing to others. I will laugh and giggle and have fun. Just not right now. I have to get through this and I WILL! I always have.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
12-22-10...WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
I heard two young Mothers one day talking. It was fascinating to me how things had changed since my Son was a baby. I didn't even recognize a lot of the things they were talking about. One thing I heard though was the same when one of them said in a whiny voice, “Oh how I'd like to be by myself for a while with no kids or a husband to worry about. Never take anything or anyone for granted because you think they will always be there. I cringe and my skin crawls when I hear a Mother say things like that. I always want to say “Oh Honey Please don't say that or wish it”. Wishing and hoping for things you don't really mean or want could come true. One day has a tenancy to turn in to forever.
We all do it at times I know without even thinking about it but simple things like, “I'll be so glad when Christmas is over” even bother me. Is it Christmas they want over or is it what has been made of Christmas. Christmas in my time 60 years ago was simple and sweet, warm and fuzzy. It was a house full of love and understanding. There was no rush to the stores and being rude or dealing with others who are rude. It was families being together, sitting at a table together and feasting on each other not a big gourmet meal or things that are expected though we don't really want or need. We had the opening of gifts Christmas eve night which was not necessarily the Right way' but Our way.
Christmas today for my family is still being together. It is fellowship and visiting. It is my brother and me talking about our childhood and his boys talking about their childhood along with my son Richard. The young ones listen to us and make memories for themselves later on down the line. I buy gifts for my Great Niece and Nephew and no one else. At my age what do I need. I have everything I need unless you can give me a magic pill to give my old body less pain. My gift is being with my family and feeling the love that is flowing around me so sweetly. And that kind of gift doesn't cost anybody anything.
I heard two young Mothers one day talking. It was fascinating to me how things had changed since my Son was a baby. I didn't even recognize a lot of the things they were talking about. One thing I heard though was the same when one of them said in a whiny voice, “Oh how I'd like to be by myself for a while with no kids or a husband to worry about. Never take anything or anyone for granted because you think they will always be there. I cringe and my skin crawls when I hear a Mother say things like that. I always want to say “Oh Honey Please don't say that or wish it”. Wishing and hoping for things you don't really mean or want could come true. One day has a tenancy to turn in to forever.
We all do it at times I know without even thinking about it but simple things like, “I'll be so glad when Christmas is over” even bother me. Is it Christmas they want over or is it what has been made of Christmas. Christmas in my time 60 years ago was simple and sweet, warm and fuzzy. It was a house full of love and understanding. There was no rush to the stores and being rude or dealing with others who are rude. It was families being together, sitting at a table together and feasting on each other not a big gourmet meal or things that are expected though we don't really want or need. We had the opening of gifts Christmas eve night which was not necessarily the Right way' but Our way.
Christmas today for my family is still being together. It is fellowship and visiting. It is my brother and me talking about our childhood and his boys talking about their childhood along with my son Richard. The young ones listen to us and make memories for themselves later on down the line. I buy gifts for my Great Niece and Nephew and no one else. At my age what do I need. I have everything I need unless you can give me a magic pill to give my old body less pain. My gift is being with my family and feeling the love that is flowing around me so sweetly. And that kind of gift doesn't cost anybody anything.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
CHRISTMAS
12-8-10...CHRISTMAS
Christmas was never about gifts for my family. When we were very young and still believed in Santa of course the gifts were great but later as we grew up gifts became less significant. It was a day of family , closeness, and love. We had a large extended family then. Lots of Aunts, Uncles, cousins and anyone who had made their way into our hearts and our home.
Christmas was a warm fuzzy feeling that something significant and wonderful was about to happen. We were Thankful for what we had and the ones who we shared with.
Dinner was just like any dinner. We ate what we had. I don't remember ever having a turkey. Daddy would kill a fat hen from the chicken house. Mamma made the best cornbread dressing you ever laid your tongue to and her dinner rolls would melt in your mouth slathered with some fresh butter that I had usually shook in a jar. Then there was the Southern Pecan Pie. There was a big pecan tree in Brenda's yard and the whole family cracked the pecans and picked the nuts out with a bobby pin.
On Christmas Eve we always had a Program at the Church. The kids usually portrayed the birth of Jesus in a play. Then we had a living Christmas tree. The men built a wooden structure in the shape of a Christmas tree. We all stood on the layers as it went upward and someone was The Christmas Angel on the top. I remember getting to be the Angel one year. I had an angel costume with golden wings provided by the Church. The Angel got to wear a star on their head. It was beautiful. Each child held a beautiful ornament and we sang Christmas Carols with the lights dim so we could sparkle.
On one side of the stage was a huge Christmas tree (Cedar tree) that the men brought in and sat up. We had lots of lights and we made strings of garland with construction paper. We also strung popcorn and cranberries. That was as festive as we got.
I don't see Christmas as it was or should be any more. That warm fuzzy feeling that I got is harder to come by now. People around the stores are rude and in too much hurry. All over the store is Santa and his reindeer. Now Santa is OK with me, I don't have a problem with Santa. I do have a problem with Santa, trees, and gifts being the focal point of Christmas. I think if one more person says Happy Holidays to me I will explode. We got our Greatest Gift long ago when little Baby Jesus was born in a stable and laid in a manger. That was THE GIFT that means something. That is what Christmas is all about.
Christmas was never about gifts for my family. When we were very young and still believed in Santa of course the gifts were great but later as we grew up gifts became less significant. It was a day of family , closeness, and love. We had a large extended family then. Lots of Aunts, Uncles, cousins and anyone who had made their way into our hearts and our home.
Christmas was a warm fuzzy feeling that something significant and wonderful was about to happen. We were Thankful for what we had and the ones who we shared with.
Dinner was just like any dinner. We ate what we had. I don't remember ever having a turkey. Daddy would kill a fat hen from the chicken house. Mamma made the best cornbread dressing you ever laid your tongue to and her dinner rolls would melt in your mouth slathered with some fresh butter that I had usually shook in a jar. Then there was the Southern Pecan Pie. There was a big pecan tree in Brenda's yard and the whole family cracked the pecans and picked the nuts out with a bobby pin.
On Christmas Eve we always had a Program at the Church. The kids usually portrayed the birth of Jesus in a play. Then we had a living Christmas tree. The men built a wooden structure in the shape of a Christmas tree. We all stood on the layers as it went upward and someone was The Christmas Angel on the top. I remember getting to be the Angel one year. I had an angel costume with golden wings provided by the Church. The Angel got to wear a star on their head. It was beautiful. Each child held a beautiful ornament and we sang Christmas Carols with the lights dim so we could sparkle.
On one side of the stage was a huge Christmas tree (Cedar tree) that the men brought in and sat up. We had lots of lights and we made strings of garland with construction paper. We also strung popcorn and cranberries. That was as festive as we got.
I don't see Christmas as it was or should be any more. That warm fuzzy feeling that I got is harder to come by now. People around the stores are rude and in too much hurry. All over the store is Santa and his reindeer. Now Santa is OK with me, I don't have a problem with Santa. I do have a problem with Santa, trees, and gifts being the focal point of Christmas. I think if one more person says Happy Holidays to me I will explode. We got our Greatest Gift long ago when little Baby Jesus was born in a stable and laid in a manger. That was THE GIFT that means something. That is what Christmas is all about.
Friday, November 12, 2010
SHE WAS SLOW
11-11-10...SHE WAS SLOW
If you think you know someone who is slow, You would probably think again if you knew Brenda. OH MY GOSH! was that girl slooooowwwww! Still is. I was always early and I still like to be. All through our school years somehow I got appointed to make sure Brenda was ready and on the school bus. Well my Friends that was an almost impossible task. If we were at the same house it was somewhat easier but still a hard task. When we were at separate houses!!!! Now that was when the trouble came out and grabbed me in the throat. We had to walk up to the corner, turn right and walk to the next corner. Thats where the bus stopped. I'd start up our lane and here would be Brenda, out on her porch in all stages of dress. CLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE, hold the bus for me!!!! OOOKKKAAAYYY but hurry up Brenda, I'm gettin' tired of this!! It was the same every morning. Our poor driver was always so patient and waited on her. I know he didn't want to really, made us late for school sometimes. Besides the other kids started griping. I was getting embarrassed myself and had just about had enough of it. One evening I said Now Brenda you better be there in the morning. I'm not a'gonna tell Hollie to wait. Yes you will, You better Clydene. I'm tellin' you I aint gonna do it. We'll just go on and leave you. I guess she didn't believe I'd do it cause of course she did the same thing the next morning. Out on the porch half dressed hollering, CCCLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE! Tell Hollie I'll be there in a minute. Well durn her I had got my can plumb full of this and I wasn't gonna do it this time. I'm tired of this stuff, Yep tired of it. I got to thinking though, Now, If Brenda misses the bus she'll get to stay home and I'll have to go to school. Heck fire I'm not a goin' to school and her staying here havin' fun without me. Of course she wouldnta had much fun cause she'd a got in trouble but I wasn't thinking that way. Brenda, you better come on now. I ainta gonna do it today. I see it comin' come on right now, I mean it Brenda, you better come on. I'll wait right here for you, now come on Brenda!!! Well folks she got the point finally and decided I meant what I said so she ran back in grabbed her book satchel and here she came a runnin'. Hurry Brenda!! I'm a hurrin' Clydene, wait a minute. Well she came on all right. Yep she came on. HALF DRESSED!!! There she was in all her glory. Socks, no shoes, slip and sweater, no skirt, sweater on backwards. Oh My Gosh Brenda, you can't go like that! You're not dressed. Oh my Oh My what are we a'gonna do! Brenda I should box your jaws red, that just what i outta do!! Just then we heard the bus honk three times and pull out. We looked up and there that big ol' yellow thing went likety split up the road. There we stood. What'll we do Clydene. Well Brenda how in the heck do ya think I know! I guess we'll just have to stay right here all day. Then when the bus gets here this evening we'll just go on home. Nobody'll ever know. RIGHT?? WRONG!! My Mama heard the bus honking, and knew I didn't get on it. I don't know how she knew that cause she sure couldn't see up there from our house. Come to think of it, I'm still not real sure how she knew, but she knew all right. Yep she knew all right. She bundled my Brother up and here she came up the road. Brenda lets hide! Where would we hide Clydene? Sides I don't wanna. I'm cold. Well Brenda you shouda thought of that when you come up here half nekked' I'm not necked' Clydene, You shut up before I slap your jaws. You sure better not try it by golly I'll throw you in that ditch. No you won't. Yes I will! By then my Mama was there and the jig was up! Oh my gosh was it ever up. Mama was upset, my baby brother was a cryin' and Brenda was even bellerin like an ol' donkey by then. I don't know what you girls think your'a doin' Mama said, but you both get your tails down that road and you do it now. " BUT MAMA" No buts get going. Which we did. You are both gonna get your butts busted good when we get there. WHICH WE DID!! Yep we sure nuff did. Now do you think that all resulted in Brenda turning over a new leaf and gettin there on time? Shoot fire No! She was never on time and never will be. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!! DURN YOU BRENDA. I STILL OUTTA BOX YOUR JAWS RED!!! YEP I SURE SHOULD! But I wont!!!
If you think you know someone who is slow, You would probably think again if you knew Brenda. OH MY GOSH! was that girl slooooowwwww! Still is. I was always early and I still like to be. All through our school years somehow I got appointed to make sure Brenda was ready and on the school bus. Well my Friends that was an almost impossible task. If we were at the same house it was somewhat easier but still a hard task. When we were at separate houses!!!! Now that was when the trouble came out and grabbed me in the throat. We had to walk up to the corner, turn right and walk to the next corner. Thats where the bus stopped. I'd start up our lane and here would be Brenda, out on her porch in all stages of dress. CLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE, hold the bus for me!!!! OOOKKKAAAYYY but hurry up Brenda, I'm gettin' tired of this!! It was the same every morning. Our poor driver was always so patient and waited on her. I know he didn't want to really, made us late for school sometimes. Besides the other kids started griping. I was getting embarrassed myself and had just about had enough of it. One evening I said Now Brenda you better be there in the morning. I'm not a'gonna tell Hollie to wait. Yes you will, You better Clydene. I'm tellin' you I aint gonna do it. We'll just go on and leave you. I guess she didn't believe I'd do it cause of course she did the same thing the next morning. Out on the porch half dressed hollering, CCCLLLYYYDDDEEENNNEEE! Tell Hollie I'll be there in a minute. Well durn her I had got my can plumb full of this and I wasn't gonna do it this time. I'm tired of this stuff, Yep tired of it. I got to thinking though, Now, If Brenda misses the bus she'll get to stay home and I'll have to go to school. Heck fire I'm not a goin' to school and her staying here havin' fun without me. Of course she wouldnta had much fun cause she'd a got in trouble but I wasn't thinking that way. Brenda, you better come on now. I ainta gonna do it today. I see it comin' come on right now, I mean it Brenda, you better come on. I'll wait right here for you, now come on Brenda!!! Well folks she got the point finally and decided I meant what I said so she ran back in grabbed her book satchel and here she came a runnin'. Hurry Brenda!! I'm a hurrin' Clydene, wait a minute. Well she came on all right. Yep she came on. HALF DRESSED!!! There she was in all her glory. Socks, no shoes, slip and sweater, no skirt, sweater on backwards. Oh My Gosh Brenda, you can't go like that! You're not dressed. Oh my Oh My what are we a'gonna do! Brenda I should box your jaws red, that just what i outta do!! Just then we heard the bus honk three times and pull out. We looked up and there that big ol' yellow thing went likety split up the road. There we stood. What'll we do Clydene. Well Brenda how in the heck do ya think I know! I guess we'll just have to stay right here all day. Then when the bus gets here this evening we'll just go on home. Nobody'll ever know. RIGHT?? WRONG!! My Mama heard the bus honking, and knew I didn't get on it. I don't know how she knew that cause she sure couldn't see up there from our house. Come to think of it, I'm still not real sure how she knew, but she knew all right. Yep she knew all right. She bundled my Brother up and here she came up the road. Brenda lets hide! Where would we hide Clydene? Sides I don't wanna. I'm cold. Well Brenda you shouda thought of that when you come up here half nekked' I'm not necked' Clydene, You shut up before I slap your jaws. You sure better not try it by golly I'll throw you in that ditch. No you won't. Yes I will! By then my Mama was there and the jig was up! Oh my gosh was it ever up. Mama was upset, my baby brother was a cryin' and Brenda was even bellerin like an ol' donkey by then. I don't know what you girls think your'a doin' Mama said, but you both get your tails down that road and you do it now. " BUT MAMA" No buts get going. Which we did. You are both gonna get your butts busted good when we get there. WHICH WE DID!! Yep we sure nuff did. Now do you think that all resulted in Brenda turning over a new leaf and gettin there on time? Shoot fire No! She was never on time and never will be. NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!! DURN YOU BRENDA. I STILL OUTTA BOX YOUR JAWS RED!!! YEP I SURE SHOULD! But I wont!!!
Monday, November 8, 2010
THE FIGHT
11-7-10...THE FIGHT
We sure didn't have a lot when I was growing up but I guess we just never knew that. I thought I was rich, and I was rich just not in monetary ways. My home was old and let in the cold air. But we had a warmth in love that kept that cold at bay. We had feather beds that my Granny made with her own two hands. We saved the feathers from all the chickens we plucked and cleaned for frying. Boy was it ever great to sink down in that bed and cover up with lots of the quilts that my Grandma made. She also made feather pillows. I still have two of those pillows all sealed up in plastic to keep them safe. I can't help but wonder what will happen to them when I am gone, but that doesn't really matter. Young people in my Family just don't have an appreciation for these things the way I do. What a shame, what happened? Now getting to these two pillows. They had to be re ticked when I was about 12 yrs. old due to a pillow fight. And of course Brenda and I had the fight. Not a fun pillow fight, but a knock down drag out fight. I mean we were rip-roarin' mad!! Brenda and I didn't have very many clothes. We had to take care of them because there was no money for more. We knew and accepted that. We often wore each others clothes when we were still the same size. I had a beautiful beaded belt that my Daddy got for me. I was so prowd of that belt. And That belt I would not share. No siree. That was my gift from my Daddy and it was mine. Mama shamed me for it but I wouldn't give an inch. Our parents had taught us to share with each other. They shared, and we were supposed to share. But My Daddy got me that belt and it was special. NOPE, Brenda wasn't a'gonna get my belt. What if she lost it, broke it, lost a bead. NOPE NOPE NOPE! It's mine!!One day Brenda came running in and said "Clydene I want to wear your belt tomorrow." Smart elec. She knew what the answer to that would be. “Well your Mama said I could wear it and I'm gonna”. We were in my room and I figured she was lying like a dog. “Mama didn't say that Brenda, and you know she didn't.” “Yes she did, go ask her if you don't believe me.” “No I aint'a'gonna ask her nothin' cause she never said that and even if she did, you still ainta' gettin' it Brenda, Now get out of here.” Brenda just walked on over to where the belt was hanging and reached for it. Well now let me tell you fire jumped outta' my eyes' and ears. I pounced on her back like a cat, got her around the neck and was a'gonna choke the ever lovin' stuffins' outta' her. We both went down to the floor, I got up first and the only thing I could see to use was Grandma's feather pillow. Brenda still had my belt in her hand and she warped me across the arm with it. Well I really came un-glued then and started warping her with the pillow as hard as I could. I snatched the belt outta' her hands and slung it over my head. She wadna' gonna' get my belt. Nope! It would be over my dead body. Brenda got the other I mean looked like snow a comin' down. Mama was at the door soon as she heard the commotion and got hold of us both at the same time. Now I wuuldna' known that my Mama was that strong but she lifted us both and slammed us down on the feather bed where we sunk in, face to face, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, spittin' and sputterin' feathers. Let me tell you we got our hides busted red with my belt right then and there while we were a' still sputterin in the feather bed. Mamma hauled us back up outta the bed and her face was redder'n' our butts were. She was steamin' mad. Of course with GOOD reason, don't ya know?! My Gosh, that was the worst mess we ever had to clean up. Mamma said “There hadn't better be one little pin feather in this room. I want them all picked up and put in a sack, and you two are gonna' put them in new ticks before the sun sets tonight.” WOOOO, Mama was mad. It wasn't easy but we fixed those pillows and Mama couldn't find nary' a feather left over. Believe me she tried. Now, Mama said she didn't tell Brenda she could use my belt, but I already knew that. Still I looked at Brenda's neck where you could see my claw marks and she was looking at the whelppp on my arm from her warping me with my belt, and we both started cryin' and huggin' and sayin I'm sorry. I guess you're'a thinkin' I let her wear my belt aint ya'. Well I sure nuff didn't right then and there but the next time she asked real polite like I let the little nut wear it. And guess what, She never asked to wear it again. HMMMMM! Now whata you make of that. Don't know but I got my suspicions. Yep!!
We sure didn't have a lot when I was growing up but I guess we just never knew that. I thought I was rich, and I was rich just not in monetary ways. My home was old and let in the cold air. But we had a warmth in love that kept that cold at bay. We had feather beds that my Granny made with her own two hands. We saved the feathers from all the chickens we plucked and cleaned for frying. Boy was it ever great to sink down in that bed and cover up with lots of the quilts that my Grandma made. She also made feather pillows. I still have two of those pillows all sealed up in plastic to keep them safe. I can't help but wonder what will happen to them when I am gone, but that doesn't really matter. Young people in my Family just don't have an appreciation for these things the way I do. What a shame, what happened? Now getting to these two pillows. They had to be re ticked when I was about 12 yrs. old due to a pillow fight. And of course Brenda and I had the fight. Not a fun pillow fight, but a knock down drag out fight. I mean we were rip-roarin' mad!! Brenda and I didn't have very many clothes. We had to take care of them because there was no money for more. We knew and accepted that. We often wore each others clothes when we were still the same size. I had a beautiful beaded belt that my Daddy got for me. I was so prowd of that belt. And That belt I would not share. No siree. That was my gift from my Daddy and it was mine. Mama shamed me for it but I wouldn't give an inch. Our parents had taught us to share with each other. They shared, and we were supposed to share. But My Daddy got me that belt and it was special. NOPE, Brenda wasn't a'gonna get my belt. What if she lost it, broke it, lost a bead. NOPE NOPE NOPE! It's mine!!One day Brenda came running in and said "Clydene I want to wear your belt tomorrow." Smart elec. She knew what the answer to that would be. “Well your Mama said I could wear it and I'm gonna”. We were in my room and I figured she was lying like a dog. “Mama didn't say that Brenda, and you know she didn't.” “Yes she did, go ask her if you don't believe me.” “No I aint'a'gonna ask her nothin' cause she never said that and even if she did, you still ainta' gettin' it Brenda, Now get out of here.” Brenda just walked on over to where the belt was hanging and reached for it. Well now let me tell you fire jumped outta' my eyes' and ears. I pounced on her back like a cat, got her around the neck and was a'gonna choke the ever lovin' stuffins' outta' her. We both went down to the floor, I got up first and the only thing I could see to use was Grandma's feather pillow. Brenda still had my belt in her hand and she warped me across the arm with it. Well I really came un-glued then and started warping her with the pillow as hard as I could. I snatched the belt outta' her hands and slung it over my head. She wadna' gonna' get my belt. Nope! It would be over my dead body. Brenda got the other I mean looked like snow a comin' down. Mama was at the door soon as she heard the commotion and got hold of us both at the same time. Now I wuuldna' known that my Mama was that strong but she lifted us both and slammed us down on the feather bed where we sunk in, face to face, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, spittin' and sputterin' feathers. Let me tell you we got our hides busted red with my belt right then and there while we were a' still sputterin in the feather bed. Mamma hauled us back up outta the bed and her face was redder'n' our butts were. She was steamin' mad. Of course with GOOD reason, don't ya know?! My Gosh, that was the worst mess we ever had to clean up. Mamma said “There hadn't better be one little pin feather in this room. I want them all picked up and put in a sack, and you two are gonna' put them in new ticks before the sun sets tonight.” WOOOO, Mama was mad. It wasn't easy but we fixed those pillows and Mama couldn't find nary' a feather left over. Believe me she tried. Now, Mama said she didn't tell Brenda she could use my belt, but I already knew that. Still I looked at Brenda's neck where you could see my claw marks and she was looking at the whelppp on my arm from her warping me with my belt, and we both started cryin' and huggin' and sayin I'm sorry. I guess you're'a thinkin' I let her wear my belt aint ya'. Well I sure nuff didn't right then and there but the next time she asked real polite like I let the little nut wear it. And guess what, She never asked to wear it again. HMMMMM! Now whata you make of that. Don't know but I got my suspicions. Yep!!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS
11-5-10...THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS
Every year at this time I start getting all misty eyed. It will be easy for me to just sit down and have a good cry. It doesn't take much. A kind word, a harsh word, good memory, bad memory, a smell, a color. In other words, Everything and Anything. Childhood memories can do it for sure. I guess when you get my age those are the most precious memories you have. I know mine are. And Christmas memories are the most precious I have right now. Could be because It is the Christmas season. Christmas Eve always found us in The little Church that I grew up in. We had a Big Christmas tree and our parents ( we found out later) took us each a Christmas package to put under the tree. Santa would be there at the end of the program and each kid got to sit on his lap and he gave us our gift. Down at the end of my driveway there is a little cedar tree. It is loaded with those little white thingies that from a distance make it look like it has snow in its branches. Now that is a Christmas tree in my mind. That is the only kind of Christmas tree we ever had. It was Christmas when that cedar tree was brought inside with that pungent odor all it's own. We didn't have ornaments bought at a store until I was a teenager. After we got electricity in our home we had one little string of lights. Seven bulbs that I just loved to look at. There was this stuff called angel hair, and packets of silver strings called icicles. Daddy came home one day with a sack. Somehow he had gotten a packet of angel hair and one of icicles. Oh Man were we prowd and so were my Parents. We didn't have room for a big cedar tree so it was about 4ft. I think.We all decorated together. I think my parents enjoyed it as much as Norman and I did. As I look back I'm sure it wasn't a gorgeous tree like you see now. It was a special tree and a special time. The icicles and angel hair that Norman and I placed on the tree was not neat but globs hanging haphazardly here and there. Mama and Daddy just left it the way we placed it and told us how pretty it was and what a good job we were doing. We didn't get the tree until two days before Christmas. Since cedar was so flammable Daddy said we couldn't chance it catching fire. When we went out to cut the tree was always special. Mama would save a lard bucket. Daddy put gravel in the bottom of the bucket and filled it with garden dirt all around the trunk of the tree. We could keep water in the bucket so the tree didn't dry out so fast. Everyone got something from everyone. If it cost a nickle or a penny it was fun and very appreciated. Each family had Christmas at home then visited later in the day. But Christmas was home and family. That was our traditions and all we knew. I'd love to have an old time Christmas like that again. I no longer have a live cedar tree but I did as my Son was growing up. Now I bring in some cedar branches so I can smell Christmas. What a treat to have that smell in my home once again as I go down memory lane. YEP!!!!!
Every year at this time I start getting all misty eyed. It will be easy for me to just sit down and have a good cry. It doesn't take much. A kind word, a harsh word, good memory, bad memory, a smell, a color. In other words, Everything and Anything. Childhood memories can do it for sure. I guess when you get my age those are the most precious memories you have. I know mine are. And Christmas memories are the most precious I have right now. Could be because It is the Christmas season. Christmas Eve always found us in The little Church that I grew up in. We had a Big Christmas tree and our parents ( we found out later) took us each a Christmas package to put under the tree. Santa would be there at the end of the program and each kid got to sit on his lap and he gave us our gift. Down at the end of my driveway there is a little cedar tree. It is loaded with those little white thingies that from a distance make it look like it has snow in its branches. Now that is a Christmas tree in my mind. That is the only kind of Christmas tree we ever had. It was Christmas when that cedar tree was brought inside with that pungent odor all it's own. We didn't have ornaments bought at a store until I was a teenager. After we got electricity in our home we had one little string of lights. Seven bulbs that I just loved to look at. There was this stuff called angel hair, and packets of silver strings called icicles. Daddy came home one day with a sack. Somehow he had gotten a packet of angel hair and one of icicles. Oh Man were we prowd and so were my Parents. We didn't have room for a big cedar tree so it was about 4ft. I think.We all decorated together. I think my parents enjoyed it as much as Norman and I did. As I look back I'm sure it wasn't a gorgeous tree like you see now. It was a special tree and a special time. The icicles and angel hair that Norman and I placed on the tree was not neat but globs hanging haphazardly here and there. Mama and Daddy just left it the way we placed it and told us how pretty it was and what a good job we were doing. We didn't get the tree until two days before Christmas. Since cedar was so flammable Daddy said we couldn't chance it catching fire. When we went out to cut the tree was always special. Mama would save a lard bucket. Daddy put gravel in the bottom of the bucket and filled it with garden dirt all around the trunk of the tree. We could keep water in the bucket so the tree didn't dry out so fast. Everyone got something from everyone. If it cost a nickle or a penny it was fun and very appreciated. Each family had Christmas at home then visited later in the day. But Christmas was home and family. That was our traditions and all we knew. I'd love to have an old time Christmas like that again. I no longer have a live cedar tree but I did as my Son was growing up. Now I bring in some cedar branches so I can smell Christmas. What a treat to have that smell in my home once again as I go down memory lane. YEP!!!!!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
JUST SOME THOUGHTS
11-3-10...JUST SOME THOUGHTS
This time of year is always so hard for me. Memories of what was and never will be again come pouring in so fast I can't contain them. The rest of the year is much easier because my mind can overpower the bad with the sweet memories of my youth. I can reach in the deep part of my heart and pull out such beautiful memories that sustain me. The four months coming up make that very hard to do. November, December, January, and February always tear down that wall of protection I have placed on my heart. The glue that holds breaks and the cracks of my heart no longer holds. The memories that overflow my being now are Dark and foreboding, harsh and cruel. This should be a peaceful and serene time. The year coming to an end, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a fresh new year beginning. It should be and is usually for many. I tried so hard for so many years to make it so for me. I finally gave up and decided to just roll with the flow so to speak. Live for today. Yesterday has passed me by, I can't fix it. Tomorrow will come and I'll deal with that, tomorrow. Can't fix that today either.
So if the memories that come to me today aren't pleasant so be it. They are mine to do with as I please. They happened to me, I dealt with them then and I will deal with them now. I must deal with them in my way, and in my time. If I cry, I cry. If I pull in and discuss things with my best friend, Who is God, and just stay quiet and alone then that is the way I handle it that day. My best friend is always there and He Listens when no one else will. Today I have chosen to come to my un-seen friends all over this big and great world and open my heart. I'm sad and my heart is hurting. Soon after Christmas is my only Child's Birthday. Richard loved Christmas and Thanksgiving. His gray eyes would sparkle and dance. Richard never asked for much. I'll never forget the time he came to me with a catalog and asked, “Mamma do you have enough money to get me these three things for Christmas”? I didn't know how but I knew I would move Heaven and Earth to get those things for him, and I did. So while my memories of Richard are sweet and precious they still tug hard at my heart. They make me vulnerable to hurt and I cry a lot. If I seem to be neglecting my friends and family it is not intentional. It will pass. Please bear with me.
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
I washed your sweet face and kissed tears from your eyes.
Let you do some things while I sat and cried.
I doctored skinned knees and cooked favorite meals.
Only a Mother could know how it feels.
I watched you grow and guided your first steps.
Had to turn loose when you no longer needed my help.
I baked a million cookies and poured the pop.
As long as I lived I never wanted to stop.
I sat many nights beside you when you were ill.
Then Prayed my Thanks to God, you were once again well.
As I watched you cry or watched you at play.
I didn't think of the time when you'd be away.
I liked to watch your every move, catching you before you fall.
Choosing your friends for you.
The day I watched you go off to school, me crying like a fool.
Never knowing then that worse was to come.
I was to lose you for good, my only Son.
I still cry, but you are still here with me it seems.
You are here in my heart, You are here in my dreams.
I miss you so much, but you're here in a way
You left Mama so much behind
like sweet things you would say.
Your smile is in the stars that twinkle in the night.
I see your sweet face in the sun smiling and bright.
I feel your touch in a puppy so fluffy and sweet.
Your kiss in the whisper of a breeze on my cheek.
Clydene Overbey 1988
This time of year is always so hard for me. Memories of what was and never will be again come pouring in so fast I can't contain them. The rest of the year is much easier because my mind can overpower the bad with the sweet memories of my youth. I can reach in the deep part of my heart and pull out such beautiful memories that sustain me. The four months coming up make that very hard to do. November, December, January, and February always tear down that wall of protection I have placed on my heart. The glue that holds breaks and the cracks of my heart no longer holds. The memories that overflow my being now are Dark and foreboding, harsh and cruel. This should be a peaceful and serene time. The year coming to an end, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a fresh new year beginning. It should be and is usually for many. I tried so hard for so many years to make it so for me. I finally gave up and decided to just roll with the flow so to speak. Live for today. Yesterday has passed me by, I can't fix it. Tomorrow will come and I'll deal with that, tomorrow. Can't fix that today either.
So if the memories that come to me today aren't pleasant so be it. They are mine to do with as I please. They happened to me, I dealt with them then and I will deal with them now. I must deal with them in my way, and in my time. If I cry, I cry. If I pull in and discuss things with my best friend, Who is God, and just stay quiet and alone then that is the way I handle it that day. My best friend is always there and He Listens when no one else will. Today I have chosen to come to my un-seen friends all over this big and great world and open my heart. I'm sad and my heart is hurting. Soon after Christmas is my only Child's Birthday. Richard loved Christmas and Thanksgiving. His gray eyes would sparkle and dance. Richard never asked for much. I'll never forget the time he came to me with a catalog and asked, “Mamma do you have enough money to get me these three things for Christmas”? I didn't know how but I knew I would move Heaven and Earth to get those things for him, and I did. So while my memories of Richard are sweet and precious they still tug hard at my heart. They make me vulnerable to hurt and I cry a lot. If I seem to be neglecting my friends and family it is not intentional. It will pass. Please bear with me.
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
I washed your sweet face and kissed tears from your eyes.
Let you do some things while I sat and cried.
I doctored skinned knees and cooked favorite meals.
Only a Mother could know how it feels.
I watched you grow and guided your first steps.
Had to turn loose when you no longer needed my help.
I baked a million cookies and poured the pop.
As long as I lived I never wanted to stop.
I sat many nights beside you when you were ill.
Then Prayed my Thanks to God, you were once again well.
As I watched you cry or watched you at play.
I didn't think of the time when you'd be away.
I liked to watch your every move, catching you before you fall.
Choosing your friends for you.
The day I watched you go off to school, me crying like a fool.
Never knowing then that worse was to come.
I was to lose you for good, my only Son.
I still cry, but you are still here with me it seems.
You are here in my heart, You are here in my dreams.
I miss you so much, but you're here in a way
You left Mama so much behind
like sweet things you would say.
Your smile is in the stars that twinkle in the night.
I see your sweet face in the sun smiling and bright.
I feel your touch in a puppy so fluffy and sweet.
Your kiss in the whisper of a breeze on my cheek.
Clydene Overbey 1988
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)