5-15-09...GRAVITY
I guess gravity is a great thing in most instances but when it comes to my body I don't much like it.
It starts slowly. So slow that you never even see it. It creeps up on you like a bad seed. It grows until it completely covers your whole body and wraps around like a clinging vine. If you know about vines some of them are beautiful but you have to keep them controlled and tamed down lest they take over like a brier patch.
Well I sure didn't keep my vine controlled on my body. All at once I looked in the mirror one day and there I was in all my glory completely consumed in a vine of gravity. The first time I recognized this gravity vine I was overwhelmed so badly that I tried to ignore it. Ignoring was not an option I found out. Once you know something is there and realize there is not a cotton-pickin' thing you can do about it it just lurks close to you and shows it's ugly side constantly. Like a blood sucking leech it takes hold and pulls everywhere until the dropping and sagging starts.
Your chin drops down to your neck. The skin under your arms drop down and flop around like jello. A ladies breast drops down around her naval. Her stomach drops down on her thighs. Knees drop down to the shin. Now your face drags around like silly putty and flops around. Belly laughter is no longer possible it is now more like whole body shaking as you laugh. No matter how big or small, fat or thin you are it will be the same. Your gravity has quit working. Everything is just giving away and dropping and there aint' a thing you can do about it unless you go under the knife and come out looking like a bug eyed praying mantis. No thank you, buggy eyed people scare the heck outta' me. I keep my nose in the air now so the 4 chins don't show. Heck even my eyelids are drooping down and I was told I needed to get something done before they drop down over my eyes. Really true. Well heck I don't want anything cut on that hurts so as long as I can see no thanks. No way no how. I'll just learn to like what I see in the mirror and if someone don't like it they have the option to look the other way. Their snooty eyes are probably bugged anyway and I don't wanna' look at them either. Nope!!!!!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A SAD DAY
5-11-09...A SAD DAY
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
MOVING WITH DADDY
5-9-09...MOVING WITH DADDY
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
ABOUT MY BLOGS
5-5-09...ABOUT MY BLOGS
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
LITTLE LOST BIRD
5-4-09...LITTLE LOST BIRD
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
5-2-09...DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
5-2-09...HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
Saturday, April 18, 2009
THE I DON'T CARES
4-18-09...THE I DON'T CARES
Did you ever have the feeling, I DON'T CARE? It is a horrible feeling and I hate it when I have it. I think it is really self pity rearing it's ugly head up in my life. I really hate it with a purple passion.
I've been thinking Why ME? Well heck fire Why not Me? I don't have the corner on happiness, peace, and contentment, no one does. So I believe when I say why me I'm wishing it was someone else with my problems, and I'm ticked off because I can't get rid of them and dump them on the people who hurt me. That seems like the fair thing to do doesn't it? Good Grief, here I was minding my own business and I get hit from all sides like a tornado tossing me about. Is that fair? No, but would it be fair if I wished it on someone else? No, that would be a sin. I've been taught right from wrong but everyone don't have that advantage. I've always survived but is there supposed to come a day when I don't have to fight so hard to survive anymore? Well the answer to that is simple, Sure, the time will come when I get to Heaven. But right now I'm here on this wicked earth and the forces get so strong sometimes I want to give up and say No More, Thats it, I don't care any more. Well that is what The Don't Cares are all about. I have them and I hate it!
At times like these I have to reach up and hold on to Gods Hand. Then I always reach back and draw more strength from my wonderful past and the Parents who raised me to be tough and strong in times of adversity.
I've seen tears in my Daddy's eyes when he couldn't give me something that I wanted badly. Sometimes I know he was devastated because he couldn't stop a heartache for me at times, but he could hold me in his strong arms and comfort me and tell me it would get better. I've seen Mama struggle to find enough for us to eat sometimes, and I remember how she could make a bowl of mashed potatoes seem like a feast to me. Even a bowl of oatmeal became special when mama added vanilla flavoring to it especially for me because I didn't want oatmeal. My Parents took me to Church and Sunday School where I learned from the ways of God. That is a basic for young minds. But The Church, or the school also need supporting Parents at home to really guide a child. I had the best. So I didn't learn self pity and the don't cares. Nope I choose to feel that way every time it comes on me.
This morning I can see my Parents sweet faces as the strived and worked to make me what I am now. They would not be ashamed or disappointed in me today. They would hold me close and tell me it will get better. God tells me that to. I am a little ashamed of myself today. I am overwhelmed by adversity, but It Will Get Better, This Too Will Pass, I'm tougher that that and I'd better just take hold of myself and stop this. Thank You Mama and Daddy for all you have done for me. I feel your presence still saying, "Get up, dust your britches off, and get going. YEP!!!
Did you ever have the feeling, I DON'T CARE? It is a horrible feeling and I hate it when I have it. I think it is really self pity rearing it's ugly head up in my life. I really hate it with a purple passion.
I've been thinking Why ME? Well heck fire Why not Me? I don't have the corner on happiness, peace, and contentment, no one does. So I believe when I say why me I'm wishing it was someone else with my problems, and I'm ticked off because I can't get rid of them and dump them on the people who hurt me. That seems like the fair thing to do doesn't it? Good Grief, here I was minding my own business and I get hit from all sides like a tornado tossing me about. Is that fair? No, but would it be fair if I wished it on someone else? No, that would be a sin. I've been taught right from wrong but everyone don't have that advantage. I've always survived but is there supposed to come a day when I don't have to fight so hard to survive anymore? Well the answer to that is simple, Sure, the time will come when I get to Heaven. But right now I'm here on this wicked earth and the forces get so strong sometimes I want to give up and say No More, Thats it, I don't care any more. Well that is what The Don't Cares are all about. I have them and I hate it!
At times like these I have to reach up and hold on to Gods Hand. Then I always reach back and draw more strength from my wonderful past and the Parents who raised me to be tough and strong in times of adversity.
I've seen tears in my Daddy's eyes when he couldn't give me something that I wanted badly. Sometimes I know he was devastated because he couldn't stop a heartache for me at times, but he could hold me in his strong arms and comfort me and tell me it would get better. I've seen Mama struggle to find enough for us to eat sometimes, and I remember how she could make a bowl of mashed potatoes seem like a feast to me. Even a bowl of oatmeal became special when mama added vanilla flavoring to it especially for me because I didn't want oatmeal. My Parents took me to Church and Sunday School where I learned from the ways of God. That is a basic for young minds. But The Church, or the school also need supporting Parents at home to really guide a child. I had the best. So I didn't learn self pity and the don't cares. Nope I choose to feel that way every time it comes on me.
This morning I can see my Parents sweet faces as the strived and worked to make me what I am now. They would not be ashamed or disappointed in me today. They would hold me close and tell me it will get better. God tells me that to. I am a little ashamed of myself today. I am overwhelmed by adversity, but It Will Get Better, This Too Will Pass, I'm tougher that that and I'd better just take hold of myself and stop this. Thank You Mama and Daddy for all you have done for me. I feel your presence still saying, "Get up, dust your britches off, and get going. YEP!!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
WASH DAY
4-16-09...WASH DAY
Mama washed clothes on the back porch with an old wringer washing machine .
The water was drawn from a well and heated on the stove in the kitchen. The washer had to be full of hot water. There were two wash tubs for rinsing. If you are familiar with the way the washers worked you know that it would agitate until you were ready to stop it.
The clothes were then picked up from the hot soapy water and fed through the wringer coming out into the first rinse tub which had warm water. Each piece was sloshed around in the water. The ringer was then rotated around between the two tubs and this was done the second time. The second tub has Mrs. Stewarts bluing in it to help whiten the clothes. The clothes were run through the wringer for the third time and out into a container which was carried out to the clothes line to hang the clothes to dry. It was quiet a production and took most of that day.
Of course I was on the porch with Mama. This day I wasn't helping as I did in later years but was there so Mama could watch me.
Mama had long hair. As she was bending over feeding the clothes through once her hair got caught in the wringer. I can barely remember this but I heard Mama tell it many times.
The washer was plugged in to a extension cord laying over in the corner. Our lights hung from the ceiling and of course no plug ins on the walls. Hence the extension cords.
The ringer of course kept going with Mamas hair caught in it. She couldn't get to the cord to unplug the washer so she was trying to get me to do it for her. Well Heck fire I had been told to never touch those things and here was Mama telling me to do it. I was a bit confused of course. When Mama kept standing there saying “Ouch, Oh God help me, Clydene get the plug and pull it, Ouch”. Well I got tickled. Heck fire, I thought it was a game or something and I was having a ball not knowing Mama was in serious trouble.
I don't know how long it went on but every time Mama would shriek I would just giggle harder. I heard Daddy say later it couldn't have been long or Mamas hair would have been pulled out.
Mama finally managed to get her foot in the cord and jerk it loose. Then she had to release the wringer which also looked funny to me with Mama standing there with her head against the wringer struggling to release it.
When she did get loose I saw tears in her eyes and some blood which squelched my giggle fit in a hurry. Now I was scared and I started crying. Mama held me close with us both crying and told me she was OK.
Bless My sweet Mamas heart. She had a terrible headache and that dad blasted wringer did get a hunk of her hair.
Things were much harder back then and I know my Mama and Daddy both worked very hard. I appreciate it more and more every day. I know it was never easy for them now but I didn't know that then and they didn't want my Brother and I to know. We were loved and protected by those two wonderful Parents that God placed us with. We came first always. They earned all the respect we could give them and more. I miss those sweet people more each day I live!!!!
Mama washed clothes on the back porch with an old wringer washing machine .
The water was drawn from a well and heated on the stove in the kitchen. The washer had to be full of hot water. There were two wash tubs for rinsing. If you are familiar with the way the washers worked you know that it would agitate until you were ready to stop it.
The clothes were then picked up from the hot soapy water and fed through the wringer coming out into the first rinse tub which had warm water. Each piece was sloshed around in the water. The ringer was then rotated around between the two tubs and this was done the second time. The second tub has Mrs. Stewarts bluing in it to help whiten the clothes. The clothes were run through the wringer for the third time and out into a container which was carried out to the clothes line to hang the clothes to dry. It was quiet a production and took most of that day.
Of course I was on the porch with Mama. This day I wasn't helping as I did in later years but was there so Mama could watch me.
Mama had long hair. As she was bending over feeding the clothes through once her hair got caught in the wringer. I can barely remember this but I heard Mama tell it many times.
The washer was plugged in to a extension cord laying over in the corner. Our lights hung from the ceiling and of course no plug ins on the walls. Hence the extension cords.
The ringer of course kept going with Mamas hair caught in it. She couldn't get to the cord to unplug the washer so she was trying to get me to do it for her. Well Heck fire I had been told to never touch those things and here was Mama telling me to do it. I was a bit confused of course. When Mama kept standing there saying “Ouch, Oh God help me, Clydene get the plug and pull it, Ouch”. Well I got tickled. Heck fire, I thought it was a game or something and I was having a ball not knowing Mama was in serious trouble.
I don't know how long it went on but every time Mama would shriek I would just giggle harder. I heard Daddy say later it couldn't have been long or Mamas hair would have been pulled out.
Mama finally managed to get her foot in the cord and jerk it loose. Then she had to release the wringer which also looked funny to me with Mama standing there with her head against the wringer struggling to release it.
When she did get loose I saw tears in her eyes and some blood which squelched my giggle fit in a hurry. Now I was scared and I started crying. Mama held me close with us both crying and told me she was OK.
Bless My sweet Mamas heart. She had a terrible headache and that dad blasted wringer did get a hunk of her hair.
Things were much harder back then and I know my Mama and Daddy both worked very hard. I appreciate it more and more every day. I know it was never easy for them now but I didn't know that then and they didn't want my Brother and I to know. We were loved and protected by those two wonderful Parents that God placed us with. We came first always. They earned all the respect we could give them and more. I miss those sweet people more each day I live!!!!
I CALLED HER STINKER
4-15-09...I CALLED HER STINKER
There is an sorta' odd or different couple who live down the road who have a bunch of dogs. They don't really take care of them and they roam all over. There was this small dog (a female) not very old who came up with 4 little puppies. Well the guy was attempting to get rid of the puppies by killing them. He told my husband at the mailbox one day that there was one puppy left that he hadn't been able to find. A day or two later I found the little thing, puny and weak in my barn. I have a Poodle who is very possessive of me and knew I didn't need or want another dog. So )i'm ashamed to admit this) I just walked out and tried to forget the puppy. Then the next morning I started out my back door and there she was under the step trembling and whining. My heart just melted and I couldn't stand it. I fed and watered the little thing, put flea and tick drops on her and brought her in to introduce to Moses (my poodle) Moses snarled up and tried to bite her so I put her back out by the step and made her a soft bed. Fot three mornings she was still there waiting for me with her whole body wagging. I took this pic. of her on my foot one morning.
She won my heart. No one is going to kill my LITTLE STINKER. I brough her in for several days and let Moses get used to her. Or tried to get him used to her. He wasn't making Friends very fast. This morning I sat on my deck with my coffee and brought Stinker with me. Moses came too and in about an hour Moses still hated her. My husband didn't want her either but I just couldn't bear to see her die. After lunch one day I again sat on the deck with iced tea, and again brought Stinker and Moses with me. My hubby came out. I got him a glass of iced tea and he sat there trying to ignore Stinker. He wouldn't make friends with her either. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I tried one day to give her to one of my neighbors. No she didn't want the poor little thing either but she called me the next day and gave me a number for someone that was looking for a dog like Stinker. I called the number and the lady came right away and picked her up. I had mixed feelings as I watched them drive away with Stinker. I knew I couldn't keep her but I had gotten attached to her. But I believe I found her a good home and I'm so happy about that. As to how she got all the way up here and in my barn: All I can figure out is Her Mom brought her up here and gave her to us so she would be safe from the "KILLER" I believe that is the right answer. DON'T YOU??? I know the poor little thing didn't come up here on her own and leave her Mom. The Mom never came to our house after that so I'm sure she left her little baby here for me to rescue. Thats how Moms are. They protect their young!! Yep
There is an sorta' odd or different couple who live down the road who have a bunch of dogs. They don't really take care of them and they roam all over. There was this small dog (a female) not very old who came up with 4 little puppies. Well the guy was attempting to get rid of the puppies by killing them. He told my husband at the mailbox one day that there was one puppy left that he hadn't been able to find. A day or two later I found the little thing, puny and weak in my barn. I have a Poodle who is very possessive of me and knew I didn't need or want another dog. So )i'm ashamed to admit this) I just walked out and tried to forget the puppy. Then the next morning I started out my back door and there she was under the step trembling and whining. My heart just melted and I couldn't stand it. I fed and watered the little thing, put flea and tick drops on her and brought her in to introduce to Moses (my poodle) Moses snarled up and tried to bite her so I put her back out by the step and made her a soft bed. Fot three mornings she was still there waiting for me with her whole body wagging. I took this pic. of her on my foot one morning.
She won my heart. No one is going to kill my LITTLE STINKER. I brough her in for several days and let Moses get used to her. Or tried to get him used to her. He wasn't making Friends very fast. This morning I sat on my deck with my coffee and brought Stinker with me. Moses came too and in about an hour Moses still hated her. My husband didn't want her either but I just couldn't bear to see her die. After lunch one day I again sat on the deck with iced tea, and again brought Stinker and Moses with me. My hubby came out. I got him a glass of iced tea and he sat there trying to ignore Stinker. He wouldn't make friends with her either. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I tried one day to give her to one of my neighbors. No she didn't want the poor little thing either but she called me the next day and gave me a number for someone that was looking for a dog like Stinker. I called the number and the lady came right away and picked her up. I had mixed feelings as I watched them drive away with Stinker. I knew I couldn't keep her but I had gotten attached to her. But I believe I found her a good home and I'm so happy about that. As to how she got all the way up here and in my barn: All I can figure out is Her Mom brought her up here and gave her to us so she would be safe from the "KILLER" I believe that is the right answer. DON'T YOU??? I know the poor little thing didn't come up here on her own and leave her Mom. The Mom never came to our house after that so I'm sure she left her little baby here for me to rescue. Thats how Moms are. They protect their young!! Yep
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I LOVE PURPLE
4-14-09...I LOVE PURPLE
At some time in my life I got 'fixed' on purple. My gosh my brain is all washed with it. If it is purple I want it. I have been known to buy things I don't need just because it is purple. All shades of purple are appealing to me. At one time all my bath and bed linens were purple. Now to my dismay the color is very hard to find.
In my first house I wanted my bedroom purple so bad. Well it wasn't deep purple but it wound up being lavender.
A few years ago I went in a big store. I have no idea what I went in there for. When I walked in the door my eyes glued on a sparkling display toward the back. I didn't know what it was but I saw a section of purples. Like a homing pigeon, or the cows coming home maybe I honed in and made a beeline for that purple. I hope no one was in my way because I would have probably run over them.
When I got there my eyes almost popped out of my head. Sitting there before me was the most beautiful bottles of lilac colored perfume I had ever seen. The bottle was tall and had a purple lid on the top that looked like crystal. Inside was a beautiful lilac colored liquid all shimmery with little glittery object that seemed to be floating around among purple violets. Oh My! My mouth was almost watering. I had to have some of this. I took two bottles off the counter and almost flew up to the check out stand. I know I must have been grinning from ear to ear. I grabbed up the bottles as soon as she scanned them, paid for them and told her I didn't need a bag for them.
I probably looked stupid walking to my car staring in to those bottles grinning like a Cheshire cat. Heck I didn't care I had me a bottle of the most beautiful liquid I had even seen.
I got in the car with my treasures and decided to spray some on me when I remembered I had not even smelled it yet. Did it smell good? Well heck it had to it was purple wasn't it?
I held it up and pushed down on the spray nozzle and it came out in a stream. It was running down my arm and on to my lap and in to my car seat. It wouldn't quit streaming until I pulled the nozzle off. And that was when I smelled it for the first time. It smelled like a skunk! I smelled like a skunk! My car smelled like a skunk! Oh Good Grief what do I do now?
I drove home almost choking on that horrible smell. I took three showers but still stunk. I washed my clothes but they still stunk. My car stunk for about 6 months. I would open all four doors and leave them open on windy days cold or hot.
I threw the offensive bottle out on the way home. (Litter Bug!) The other bottle was never uncapped but I still have it. It is still beautiful if you don't have to smell it.
Most purple things I have bought didn't leave a lasting impression like that did. But I'm still hooked on purple and if I see it I go to it and Ohh and Ahh. I love purple. YEP!
At some time in my life I got 'fixed' on purple. My gosh my brain is all washed with it. If it is purple I want it. I have been known to buy things I don't need just because it is purple. All shades of purple are appealing to me. At one time all my bath and bed linens were purple. Now to my dismay the color is very hard to find.
In my first house I wanted my bedroom purple so bad. Well it wasn't deep purple but it wound up being lavender.
A few years ago I went in a big store. I have no idea what I went in there for. When I walked in the door my eyes glued on a sparkling display toward the back. I didn't know what it was but I saw a section of purples. Like a homing pigeon, or the cows coming home maybe I honed in and made a beeline for that purple. I hope no one was in my way because I would have probably run over them.
When I got there my eyes almost popped out of my head. Sitting there before me was the most beautiful bottles of lilac colored perfume I had ever seen. The bottle was tall and had a purple lid on the top that looked like crystal. Inside was a beautiful lilac colored liquid all shimmery with little glittery object that seemed to be floating around among purple violets. Oh My! My mouth was almost watering. I had to have some of this. I took two bottles off the counter and almost flew up to the check out stand. I know I must have been grinning from ear to ear. I grabbed up the bottles as soon as she scanned them, paid for them and told her I didn't need a bag for them.
I probably looked stupid walking to my car staring in to those bottles grinning like a Cheshire cat. Heck I didn't care I had me a bottle of the most beautiful liquid I had even seen.
I got in the car with my treasures and decided to spray some on me when I remembered I had not even smelled it yet. Did it smell good? Well heck it had to it was purple wasn't it?
I held it up and pushed down on the spray nozzle and it came out in a stream. It was running down my arm and on to my lap and in to my car seat. It wouldn't quit streaming until I pulled the nozzle off. And that was when I smelled it for the first time. It smelled like a skunk! I smelled like a skunk! My car smelled like a skunk! Oh Good Grief what do I do now?
I drove home almost choking on that horrible smell. I took three showers but still stunk. I washed my clothes but they still stunk. My car stunk for about 6 months. I would open all four doors and leave them open on windy days cold or hot.
I threw the offensive bottle out on the way home. (Litter Bug!) The other bottle was never uncapped but I still have it. It is still beautiful if you don't have to smell it.
Most purple things I have bought didn't leave a lasting impression like that did. But I'm still hooked on purple and if I see it I go to it and Ohh and Ahh. I love purple. YEP!
TRUE FRIEND BAD SEEDS
4-14-09...TRUE FRIEND BAD SEEDS
TRUE FRIEND
Having a friend like you is knowing
That you are always there for me.
We can talk or not say a word.
Share bad times or times of glee.
It is knowing within my heart,
When you are Praying on my behalf.
It is that feeling that I have
Whether I cry or laugh.
It's knowing that you understand
When I'm happy or when I'm sad.
And I don't have to tell you, you just know
when I need you or times are bad.
It's knowing you'll still love me
even if I'm not lovable today,
and you'll love me just for me,
Disregard things I might say.
Yes, you are a real true friend
and I thank God for you.
And I just Pray I'll always be
that kind of friend for you too.
© January 2009
Clydene Overbey
BAD SEEDS
When I plant a garden, all in neat rows.
It is such a wonder as I wait to watch it grow.
A tiny seed I drop. Into the earthly sod.
It burst forth in all it glory
a root, a plant, from GOD.
For god is the only one who could make a little seed
grow in it's abundance. For our bodies meet a need.
Lord help me to remember as I plant my garden today,
To sow my other seeds, kindness, understanding, & words I say.
For one tiny seed of malice can grow into mighty weeds
that destroy a life, a soul, Lord stay me from bad seeds.
TRUE FRIEND
Having a friend like you is knowing
That you are always there for me.
We can talk or not say a word.
Share bad times or times of glee.
It is knowing within my heart,
When you are Praying on my behalf.
It is that feeling that I have
Whether I cry or laugh.
It's knowing that you understand
When I'm happy or when I'm sad.
And I don't have to tell you, you just know
when I need you or times are bad.
It's knowing you'll still love me
even if I'm not lovable today,
and you'll love me just for me,
Disregard things I might say.
Yes, you are a real true friend
and I thank God for you.
And I just Pray I'll always be
that kind of friend for you too.
© January 2009
Clydene Overbey
BAD SEEDS
When I plant a garden, all in neat rows.
It is such a wonder as I wait to watch it grow.
A tiny seed I drop. Into the earthly sod.
It burst forth in all it glory
a root, a plant, from GOD.
For god is the only one who could make a little seed
grow in it's abundance. For our bodies meet a need.
Lord help me to remember as I plant my garden today,
To sow my other seeds, kindness, understanding, & words I say.
For one tiny seed of malice can grow into mighty weeds
that destroy a life, a soul, Lord stay me from bad seeds.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
OLD GOLD WEDDING BAND
4-11-09...OLD GOLD WEDDING BAND
I have a wide gold wedding band on that was given to me by my Mama just before she died. She told me to put it on right there in front of her. I didn't want to because I thought it looked like I thought she was dying and I didn't want to think about that. But she insisted so I did and it has not been off of my finger since. I am the 5th generation to wear it. I don't have a daughter so I will give it to my brother one day. Norman has two sons and no daughter. It will be given to his first son and eventually to his daughter. She will be the 7th generation to wear it. It is still thick and in good shape. Things were made of better quality then. Below is what Mama wrote in Dec of 2000 before she got to sick to do it. It tells the story of this amazing ring. WOW!!!
I have a wide gold wedding band on that was given to me by my Mama just before she died. She told me to put it on right there in front of her. I didn't want to because I thought it looked like I thought she was dying and I didn't want to think about that. But she insisted so I did and it has not been off of my finger since. I am the 5th generation to wear it. I don't have a daughter so I will give it to my brother one day. Norman has two sons and no daughter. It will be given to his first son and eventually to his daughter. She will be the 7th generation to wear it. It is still thick and in good shape. Things were made of better quality then. Below is what Mama wrote in Dec of 2000 before she got to sick to do it. It tells the story of this amazing ring. WOW!!!
MAMAS HIDDEN TREASURES
4-11-09...MAMAS HIDDEN TREASURES
It was a hard time when Mama died as is expected. We were losing our best friend. The lady who gave birth to us and raised us up. Fed us from her own body, kept us clean and warm.
When Norman and I went to clean out Mamas apartment we found so many things to keep in memory of her. One was a casset tape that Mama had recorded. She sang to us, played her harmonica, (she called it a french harp) read things, and just talked. We never knew this existed. We found poems she had written, little journal like books she had recorded things in, and in general just a treasure trove of things that came from my Mamas heart.
I think the most precious thing was a letter she had written to god shown below. As you can see by the date she wrote this in 1952. I was eight and Norman had just turned four. Another thing we had never seen before.
All these things are very precious to us now. On the cassett we have her voice and playing and singing. On the letter to God we have her words in her own handwriting. WOW!!!!
It was a hard time when Mama died as is expected. We were losing our best friend. The lady who gave birth to us and raised us up. Fed us from her own body, kept us clean and warm.
When Norman and I went to clean out Mamas apartment we found so many things to keep in memory of her. One was a casset tape that Mama had recorded. She sang to us, played her harmonica, (she called it a french harp) read things, and just talked. We never knew this existed. We found poems she had written, little journal like books she had recorded things in, and in general just a treasure trove of things that came from my Mamas heart.
I think the most precious thing was a letter she had written to god shown below. As you can see by the date she wrote this in 1952. I was eight and Norman had just turned four. Another thing we had never seen before.
All these things are very precious to us now. On the cassett we have her voice and playing and singing. On the letter to God we have her words in her own handwriting. WOW!!!!
CHANGES
4-10-09...CHANGES
I don't like change. That is probably an understatement. I detest change, I fight change. My Daddy used to say, “If it aint broke don't fix it”. Now how much more simple can that be stated? Why in the heck do people work so hard to make things more difficult? Just get it done and go on to the next thing.
One example it all these ads on TV and in newspapers, NEW AND INPROVED. Improved? Heck no they aint improved! I'd love to have a 6oz. Bottle of coke the way they used to make it before they new and improved it and changed the recipe. If I had one I'd get me a big ol' Baby Ruth candy bar. Yummy. Then I'd get me a Popsicle, one of those big two stick banana Popsicles and let it run down my arm as it melts, then lick it off my arm. YEP! I'd also like to go in a store and find what I want right where it was yesterday. Now why in the heck would you move the paper products over there by the towels and sheets Makes no sense to me. One of the employees, who usually remains hidden from view, heard me exclaim one day after I'd walked around for what seemed like forever trying to find printer paper, Well this makes me so mad, This store don't even have paper anymore”. Well she came out of nowhere and guided me right to the paper over by the towels. I didn't even ask why it was there but it is back where it was now so others must have complained or they just came to their senses (which I doubt.) I did say I was sorry to the clerk but she looked at me like I had two heads or something. Guess people don't know what I'm sorry means anymore.
Then when I got home I had to call and order some medicine. Now you know that you just don't get to talk to a real live human any more. Shoot fire no, thats a thing of the past. I had their responses down pat. Knew which number to punch on the phone for my answers, had memorized all of it to save me a lot of aggravation. It was almost easy to me now. Well they answered and said, “Thanks for calling your on line Pharmacy please be aware that our menu has changed and pay close attention.” Well Good Grief, I had my finger ready to do the walking right on through this transaction and I got flustered trying to keep up with, “Sorry, we did not recognize your response. Please go back to the main menu and try again”. “When you hear the sound push the pound key, Please try again.” GRRRRR!!!!! I hung up and placed the call again. Listened to all that crap again and punched in numbers again. Then, “If you are having trouble please hang up and call,” Then a long string of numbers came over the line that I tried desperately to write down. Right in the middle of all that my phone started beeping in my ear telling me I had a call waiting. I couldn't catch any of the numbers after that. I checked to see who was calling me and it was the gosh dang on line pharmacy that I had on the other line trying to understand. Of course it was another recorded message saying. “We are sorry but our on line pharmacy is experiencing problems right now, if you need your meds' dial*** Well that's when I hung up again and fought the urge to throw the phone across the room and proceed to pull all my kinky hair out!!! If I need my meds'? Well of course I need my meds'. Why in the world would I be calling if I didn't need my cotton pickin' meds. Durn educated fools anyway. My insurance company changed too for the worse when they decided this was the best way to get my medicine. Best for who?? Why in the heck can't I just walk in Wal Mart and hand them my prescription like any sane person would do?
This world is crazy I tell you. Change, change, change. All those educated fools are just getting too big for their britches to my way of thinking. They don't know anything about real people because they are not real. They've got so much knowledge in their swelled heads that their brains have got squeezed outta there. Yep. I got the whole thinf figured out. So why don't they listen? I done told you, their brains are all pinched up in their over sized heads that it forgot how to function in the real world. Yep! That's the way I see it.
I don't like change. That is probably an understatement. I detest change, I fight change. My Daddy used to say, “If it aint broke don't fix it”. Now how much more simple can that be stated? Why in the heck do people work so hard to make things more difficult? Just get it done and go on to the next thing.
One example it all these ads on TV and in newspapers, NEW AND INPROVED. Improved? Heck no they aint improved! I'd love to have a 6oz. Bottle of coke the way they used to make it before they new and improved it and changed the recipe. If I had one I'd get me a big ol' Baby Ruth candy bar. Yummy. Then I'd get me a Popsicle, one of those big two stick banana Popsicles and let it run down my arm as it melts, then lick it off my arm. YEP! I'd also like to go in a store and find what I want right where it was yesterday. Now why in the heck would you move the paper products over there by the towels and sheets Makes no sense to me. One of the employees, who usually remains hidden from view, heard me exclaim one day after I'd walked around for what seemed like forever trying to find printer paper, Well this makes me so mad, This store don't even have paper anymore”. Well she came out of nowhere and guided me right to the paper over by the towels. I didn't even ask why it was there but it is back where it was now so others must have complained or they just came to their senses (which I doubt.) I did say I was sorry to the clerk but she looked at me like I had two heads or something. Guess people don't know what I'm sorry means anymore.
Then when I got home I had to call and order some medicine. Now you know that you just don't get to talk to a real live human any more. Shoot fire no, thats a thing of the past. I had their responses down pat. Knew which number to punch on the phone for my answers, had memorized all of it to save me a lot of aggravation. It was almost easy to me now. Well they answered and said, “Thanks for calling your on line Pharmacy please be aware that our menu has changed and pay close attention.” Well Good Grief, I had my finger ready to do the walking right on through this transaction and I got flustered trying to keep up with, “Sorry, we did not recognize your response. Please go back to the main menu and try again”. “When you hear the sound push the pound key, Please try again.” GRRRRR!!!!! I hung up and placed the call again. Listened to all that crap again and punched in numbers again. Then, “If you are having trouble please hang up and call,” Then a long string of numbers came over the line that I tried desperately to write down. Right in the middle of all that my phone started beeping in my ear telling me I had a call waiting. I couldn't catch any of the numbers after that. I checked to see who was calling me and it was the gosh dang on line pharmacy that I had on the other line trying to understand. Of course it was another recorded message saying. “We are sorry but our on line pharmacy is experiencing problems right now, if you need your meds' dial*** Well that's when I hung up again and fought the urge to throw the phone across the room and proceed to pull all my kinky hair out!!! If I need my meds'? Well of course I need my meds'. Why in the world would I be calling if I didn't need my cotton pickin' meds. Durn educated fools anyway. My insurance company changed too for the worse when they decided this was the best way to get my medicine. Best for who?? Why in the heck can't I just walk in Wal Mart and hand them my prescription like any sane person would do?
This world is crazy I tell you. Change, change, change. All those educated fools are just getting too big for their britches to my way of thinking. They don't know anything about real people because they are not real. They've got so much knowledge in their swelled heads that their brains have got squeezed outta there. Yep. I got the whole thinf figured out. So why don't they listen? I done told you, their brains are all pinched up in their over sized heads that it forgot how to function in the real world. Yep! That's the way I see it.
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