6-5-09...FAMILY FOURTH OF JULY
The 4th of July when I was a kid was one of our family times. Oh we had so much fun. It was my Grandpas (Papa) birthday so our celebrations were really a birthday picnic for him.
The whole clan was all still around then. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and whoever else happened to want to come along. Sometimes we had them in one of our yards. Most times we went to a summer swimming and picnic place in our area called Turner Bend. The water was clean and the surrounding area was nice. No one was there having drinking parties and throwing trash around. We would see friends and meet new friends. There would always be someone there who had moved out of the area to different States. They always came back for family time where they grew up.
The morning of the 4th we got up bright and early and packed our cars for the trip. Everyone brought things like a pot luck. Picnic foods. Someone would load up a big no#2 wash tub usually Daddy if I remember right. In the tub there would be a couple cases of coke. We went by the ice house in Ozark. Daddy would jump up on the platform and buy a big block of ice that had been chipped up with a big ice pick. It wasn't a plastic bag like now it was cloth. The man at the ice house would help Daddy carry the bag of ice and dump it in the tub over the cokes in the turtle hull of the car and we were off.
When we got there we found a spot to put our quilts down and get things out of the cars and laid out on rocks. The tub would be carried out and sat in the shade. By the time we got ready to drink them they were ice cold as the ice melted.
Anyone who wanted to took a swim in the cool water. I've always been afraid of water so I sat in the shallow part at the bank and got my butt wet and that was about it for me unless I got splashed. Brenda usually stayed with me. I don't remember fire works but one time and that was at home after dark. There were no boats on the water just people floating on their backs or taking a leisurely swim. Everyone watched out for everyones kids. It was a wonderful Family day. We took my Grandpa and did that for a lot of years. When some of us got older and Papa wasn't able to go every year everyone kind of went their own way and it stopped. The 4th was never the same anymore for me. We knew what we were celebrating then and I know now. The 4th is a solemn day for me now. It is a day to Honor our Veterans and be grateful for all who have fought for our Freedom then and now. I appreciate and honor them all so much and that is what the Fourth of July means to me.
I will never forget those wonderful times of family together on the creek though. I can almost taste that ice cold coke that Daddy took out of the ice and opened for me. Also those sandwiches with fresh tomatoes and green onions from Daddies garden. Potato salad and coleslaw and pork and beans and banana pudding. Oh my goodness I'm about to starve to death!!!! YEP!!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
THANK YOU LADY
6-4-09...THANK YOU LADY
Now I don't have much money. I eat regularly, have clothes on my back, and a good bed to sleep on. But material things I never had, never needed. So when I walked out of a local store this morning and started to get in my car I spotted a little boy sitting on the curb. He was sweating heavily. It was running down all over his face in black streaks as it rolled over the dirt. He was breathing heavily as if he had been running and mixed in with those dirty tears I could see that there were tears mixed in. His little knee was skinned and bleeding and he was swiping the end of a tee shirt he had on across the blood on his knee. The shirt was too large for him and looked like it had never been clean. It was hanging over what looked to be a mans jeans cut off to match his shorter legs. He didn't look up at me as I walked around him to get to my car. I couldn't stand it. Tears came to my eyes and I said, "Are you OK honey"? "Yep" was his reply.
The store was The Dollar General. I only stopped long enough to remember how much money I had in my purse which was 12 dollars and a few cents. I asked him if he would wait right there for a few minutes while I went back in the store. "yep" again was his reply.
I went in and back to the children's clothes. I found a red tee shirt with Arkansas in white letters on front for three dollars. I found a pair of shorts in a small size black with red stripes down the legs for three dollars. Then I got a pair of what we used to call thongs. Little rubber shoes with a strap that sticks between your toes for 1:50. I paid for them and headed back to the little boy.
I said "Honey are you hungry?" "Yep". "Come on and lets walk over here to the drive in OK?" "YEP".
I had a package of wet wipes that I carry in my purse just in case I need them. I opened my sack and got out the clothes and shoes. "Here honey take these in the bathroom and change in to them. Here is some cloths to wipe your face. Wash your hands in the sink before you come out". "Kay", well finally something besides Yep I thought.
While he was in the bathroom I ordered a burger basket for $5.50. With my change I had enough to pay for his meal. For $12.50 and tax I had done something good for one little urchin that brought tears to my eyes and made a little boy smile broadly and say, "Thank You Lady"! I was beginning to think he couldn't say anything but Yep for a while there.
As I left and started back to my car I had the most wonderful feeling I have had in a long time. I don't know if the little dirty faced boy was in need or just tired and dirty from play. You know what?. It don't really matter does it? I could no more have walked by that little Guy than I could stop breathing. And boy did it make my day better. Sometimes we just have to do what we feel in our hearts don't we? YEP!!
Now I don't have much money. I eat regularly, have clothes on my back, and a good bed to sleep on. But material things I never had, never needed. So when I walked out of a local store this morning and started to get in my car I spotted a little boy sitting on the curb. He was sweating heavily. It was running down all over his face in black streaks as it rolled over the dirt. He was breathing heavily as if he had been running and mixed in with those dirty tears I could see that there were tears mixed in. His little knee was skinned and bleeding and he was swiping the end of a tee shirt he had on across the blood on his knee. The shirt was too large for him and looked like it had never been clean. It was hanging over what looked to be a mans jeans cut off to match his shorter legs. He didn't look up at me as I walked around him to get to my car. I couldn't stand it. Tears came to my eyes and I said, "Are you OK honey"? "Yep" was his reply.
The store was The Dollar General. I only stopped long enough to remember how much money I had in my purse which was 12 dollars and a few cents. I asked him if he would wait right there for a few minutes while I went back in the store. "yep" again was his reply.
I went in and back to the children's clothes. I found a red tee shirt with Arkansas in white letters on front for three dollars. I found a pair of shorts in a small size black with red stripes down the legs for three dollars. Then I got a pair of what we used to call thongs. Little rubber shoes with a strap that sticks between your toes for 1:50. I paid for them and headed back to the little boy.
I said "Honey are you hungry?" "Yep". "Come on and lets walk over here to the drive in OK?" "YEP".
I had a package of wet wipes that I carry in my purse just in case I need them. I opened my sack and got out the clothes and shoes. "Here honey take these in the bathroom and change in to them. Here is some cloths to wipe your face. Wash your hands in the sink before you come out". "Kay", well finally something besides Yep I thought.
While he was in the bathroom I ordered a burger basket for $5.50. With my change I had enough to pay for his meal. For $12.50 and tax I had done something good for one little urchin that brought tears to my eyes and made a little boy smile broadly and say, "Thank You Lady"! I was beginning to think he couldn't say anything but Yep for a while there.
As I left and started back to my car I had the most wonderful feeling I have had in a long time. I don't know if the little dirty faced boy was in need or just tired and dirty from play. You know what?. It don't really matter does it? I could no more have walked by that little Guy than I could stop breathing. And boy did it make my day better. Sometimes we just have to do what we feel in our hearts don't we? YEP!!
A GIGGLE FIT
6-3-09...A GIGGLE FIT
Sometimes I get the giggles. I mean belly hurtin', side splitin', giggles. I hate it when I do that because invariably it will happen when It shouldn't happen. I can't stop when I get started with those darn giggles. A fit of the giggles will come on when no one around me sees a thing to laugh about. A look can even do it and all at once I burst forth with uncontrollable giggles. I've been known to giggle when some one stumbles, falls, walks in to a very clean window, or most anything. Sometimes I have gotten cursed out or even threatened. My Brother Norman climbed over a garden gate when he was about eight years old. As I watched him just as he straddled the gate getting to throw the other leg over a nail caught his jeans. There he was hanging over the side caught on a nail. I rushed over to help him. Just as I got there he dropped down on the other side and I heard a ripping. Now that scared me because I was afraid that was some of his vital parts ripping. But when both feet dropped down he was standing there spread eagled. His jeans were ripped all the way around at both leg seams and he looked like he had a denim skirt on. Giggle giggle are you giggle giggle huurrtt, giggle giggle. Well good grief he very well could have been hurt bad and all I could do was giggle until my eyes watered and my stomach ached. He wasn't seriously hurt but he had some scratches and I saw blood. I started crying then but now it was sob sob giggle giggle snot snot aaarrree youuu hurt? Did you ever cry and laugh at the same time? It hurts!!
One day about 15 years ago I was on a lake with my husband at the time. I wasn't in a boat but I was watching the people oaring around on the peaceful blue water and just relaxing while everyone else fished or whatever. It was very relaxing and I was dozing in my lounger when I noticed a man oaring in toward the bank. I could see he was not a young man and was huffing and puffing as he used the paddles. That is what got my attention on this one particular man. First I noticed his funny looking hat bouncing around on his head. I wasn't in to a full blown giggle fit yet but it would come. He rowed in to the bank. The water was very shallow and I guess he thought it was stopped on the sand. He got to his feet and the boat started going backward. That poor man stumbled around but couldn't get his balance. He fell straight back in to the boat and the boat took off backwards. He was rolling around trying to get to his feet again. There were people running to help him but guess what I was doing? Yep you're right I was in a bad giggle fit. In my mind I was thinking Oh My Goodness that poor man. I hope he's not hurt. Bur coming out of my mouth was giggles and I was getting loud with them. People were looking at me and I was so embarraced that again I was crying. All anyone could see was my giggles though. I was trying my best to stop but like I've said before, a giggle fit is uncontrollable for me.
They got the man back to the bank and on his feet. He looked up at me and started toward me. I hollered I'm so sorry giggle giggle sob sob then I ran like the wind up to my car, got in and locked the door. My husband finally came to the car and he was madder'n'a hornet. Seems he almost had to fight the man trying to keep him away from me. Oh My Gosh. All I've got to say is PLEASE DON'T FALL IN FRONT OF ME, PLEASE DON'T!! I hate having these giggle fits. I absolutely hate it!!!
Sometimes I get the giggles. I mean belly hurtin', side splitin', giggles. I hate it when I do that because invariably it will happen when It shouldn't happen. I can't stop when I get started with those darn giggles. A fit of the giggles will come on when no one around me sees a thing to laugh about. A look can even do it and all at once I burst forth with uncontrollable giggles. I've been known to giggle when some one stumbles, falls, walks in to a very clean window, or most anything. Sometimes I have gotten cursed out or even threatened. My Brother Norman climbed over a garden gate when he was about eight years old. As I watched him just as he straddled the gate getting to throw the other leg over a nail caught his jeans. There he was hanging over the side caught on a nail. I rushed over to help him. Just as I got there he dropped down on the other side and I heard a ripping. Now that scared me because I was afraid that was some of his vital parts ripping. But when both feet dropped down he was standing there spread eagled. His jeans were ripped all the way around at both leg seams and he looked like he had a denim skirt on. Giggle giggle are you giggle giggle huurrtt, giggle giggle. Well good grief he very well could have been hurt bad and all I could do was giggle until my eyes watered and my stomach ached. He wasn't seriously hurt but he had some scratches and I saw blood. I started crying then but now it was sob sob giggle giggle snot snot aaarrree youuu hurt? Did you ever cry and laugh at the same time? It hurts!!
One day about 15 years ago I was on a lake with my husband at the time. I wasn't in a boat but I was watching the people oaring around on the peaceful blue water and just relaxing while everyone else fished or whatever. It was very relaxing and I was dozing in my lounger when I noticed a man oaring in toward the bank. I could see he was not a young man and was huffing and puffing as he used the paddles. That is what got my attention on this one particular man. First I noticed his funny looking hat bouncing around on his head. I wasn't in to a full blown giggle fit yet but it would come. He rowed in to the bank. The water was very shallow and I guess he thought it was stopped on the sand. He got to his feet and the boat started going backward. That poor man stumbled around but couldn't get his balance. He fell straight back in to the boat and the boat took off backwards. He was rolling around trying to get to his feet again. There were people running to help him but guess what I was doing? Yep you're right I was in a bad giggle fit. In my mind I was thinking Oh My Goodness that poor man. I hope he's not hurt. Bur coming out of my mouth was giggles and I was getting loud with them. People were looking at me and I was so embarraced that again I was crying. All anyone could see was my giggles though. I was trying my best to stop but like I've said before, a giggle fit is uncontrollable for me.
They got the man back to the bank and on his feet. He looked up at me and started toward me. I hollered I'm so sorry giggle giggle sob sob then I ran like the wind up to my car, got in and locked the door. My husband finally came to the car and he was madder'n'a hornet. Seems he almost had to fight the man trying to keep him away from me. Oh My Gosh. All I've got to say is PLEASE DON'T FALL IN FRONT OF ME, PLEASE DON'T!! I hate having these giggle fits. I absolutely hate it!!!
I AM BLESSED
6-3-09...I AM BLESSED
A couple of months ago one of my neighbors (lives about a mile away) came up early one morning and wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. No problem, I got it for him. He said he would have it back to me that afternoon. I told him no don't bring it back. I was glad to loan a cup of sugar. That is something that don't happen much any more and I told him that I may need to borrow a cup of something one of these days. Used to be thats what we did. Many a time I've ran up the road with a cup in my hand to borrow something when I was a kid. I usually went to My Aunties but sometimes Mama already knew that Auntie was out of it too so she would send me somewhere else. Nothing was thought of it then. We just helped one another. Sometimes everyone around us was out of things too and we all just made do until someone got to town. Or maybe we had to wait until someone got the money to go buy it. Then we all has some of whatever it was until someone else got the money.
I remember we always had a bucket of sorghum molasses and that was used in the place of sugar when need be. Honey worked also but we didn't have honey all the time. If you didn't have milk then things were made with water. Water gravy, pudding, bread, and etc. If you didn't have flour then you used cornmeal. If you didn't have cornmeal then you just didn't think much of it. That is just the way it was and we accepted it period.
My neighbors wife must have worried about the sugar. She didn't bring it back and I never wanted her to. I forgot all about it. Then one day last week I had been gone. When I got home and pulled into the carport I saw a beautiful plant sitting on my steps. I was very surprised to say the least. It had a note attached to it. The note said, Clydene thank you for the sugar. I kept forgetting to bring it back so I thought you would like this plant. Oh My Goodness, I do like the plant but I sure didn't expect it. A beautiful plant for a cup of sugar. I wonder what I would have gotten if I had lent her five pounds of sugar. I called her and I was almost in tears. I couldn't thank her enough. I am pleased and happy but I wish she hadn't felt the need to do it. She said she just wanted me to have the plant anyway. Now isn't that sweet? The nicest thing I've had happen to me in a while and I told her that. I am blessed to have her for a neighbor and friend and I believe she feels blessed by me also. Now isn't that how it should be? Yep Sure Nuff!!!
A couple of months ago one of my neighbors (lives about a mile away) came up early one morning and wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. No problem, I got it for him. He said he would have it back to me that afternoon. I told him no don't bring it back. I was glad to loan a cup of sugar. That is something that don't happen much any more and I told him that I may need to borrow a cup of something one of these days. Used to be thats what we did. Many a time I've ran up the road with a cup in my hand to borrow something when I was a kid. I usually went to My Aunties but sometimes Mama already knew that Auntie was out of it too so she would send me somewhere else. Nothing was thought of it then. We just helped one another. Sometimes everyone around us was out of things too and we all just made do until someone got to town. Or maybe we had to wait until someone got the money to go buy it. Then we all has some of whatever it was until someone else got the money.
I remember we always had a bucket of sorghum molasses and that was used in the place of sugar when need be. Honey worked also but we didn't have honey all the time. If you didn't have milk then things were made with water. Water gravy, pudding, bread, and etc. If you didn't have flour then you used cornmeal. If you didn't have cornmeal then you just didn't think much of it. That is just the way it was and we accepted it period.
My neighbors wife must have worried about the sugar. She didn't bring it back and I never wanted her to. I forgot all about it. Then one day last week I had been gone. When I got home and pulled into the carport I saw a beautiful plant sitting on my steps. I was very surprised to say the least. It had a note attached to it. The note said, Clydene thank you for the sugar. I kept forgetting to bring it back so I thought you would like this plant. Oh My Goodness, I do like the plant but I sure didn't expect it. A beautiful plant for a cup of sugar. I wonder what I would have gotten if I had lent her five pounds of sugar. I called her and I was almost in tears. I couldn't thank her enough. I am pleased and happy but I wish she hadn't felt the need to do it. She said she just wanted me to have the plant anyway. Now isn't that sweet? The nicest thing I've had happen to me in a while and I told her that. I am blessed to have her for a neighbor and friend and I believe she feels blessed by me also. Now isn't that how it should be? Yep Sure Nuff!!!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
INCIDENTS WORTH REMEMBERING
5-29-09...INCIDENTS WORTH REMEMBERING
There are things in our life that we just really don't want to remember. Other things we wish we could remember but somehow have forgotten. Now those things I strive to remember. Some of them I have bits and pieces of them stored somewhere in my mind but just can't seem to bring it all up into proper focus, leaving me wanting more than I can get. That is the way our minds work. It can be frustrating. But then out of the blue someone says something, maybe you get a familiar smell, sometimes a dream, see a color, or see a person from your past and here it all comes flooding into your mind like an instant replay of the event.
I was remembering several things recently after talking with Brenda. One morning it was very cold. I had spent the night at Brenda's. Her Brother Paul was probably about five then. We were gathered around the little heater in the front room. Brenda and I were getting ready for school and Paul was there. We were sitting in front of the fire getting our shoes and socks on and Brenda's cat was there rubbing against us being a nuisance. Paul reached over out of the blue and got hold of the cats tail and proceeded to stick it in the stove. Oh My Heavens what a catastrophe that was!!! That poor cats tail of course caught fire. It screeched and started jumping up. On the way up it's claws were out and we all got some minor scratches. We were lucky we didn't get major damage to our bodies but by The Will Of God we were protected . What happened then was not so lucky though. That poor cat jumped straight up and caught hold of the wall about five feet off the floor. It was running around up there and got the wall paper on fire. Of course we were screaming bloody murder at Paul for doing such a mean thing to that cat. Well heck fire he was five. A five year old doesn't really understand the scope of what was happening and he was watching the cat who was trying to walk on the ceiling by that time. Auntie came out of the kitchen to see what the heck was going on. She ran back and got a bucket of water and tried to throw it up where the paper was on fire. That didn't make much headway all that did was wet us all down so she yelled for one of us to get a broom which one of us did. First she beat out the small area of the wall paper. The cats tail was no longer burning just smoldering and stinking to high heaven. Auntie put the broom up and stuck in at the cats hind legs hoping to get it on the broom. The cat turned around and attacked the broom and she hollered, “Get in the kitchen all of you”, which we quickly did. She brought the broom down slowly and was going to try and check him out but he was having none of that. The cat took off to the kitchen and Auntie hollered “OPEN THE BACK DOOR FAST”. We opened the door. The cat skidded by us and out the door.
Paul got a tanning and Brenda and I got a holiday from school because we missed the bus. No one to take us so that was that.
Later that morning the cat came back to the house and Auntie put something on it's poor tail. Oh My Gosh! Is there any end to what a young mischievous kid can get their selves in to? NOPE! Guess not.
There are things in our life that we just really don't want to remember. Other things we wish we could remember but somehow have forgotten. Now those things I strive to remember. Some of them I have bits and pieces of them stored somewhere in my mind but just can't seem to bring it all up into proper focus, leaving me wanting more than I can get. That is the way our minds work. It can be frustrating. But then out of the blue someone says something, maybe you get a familiar smell, sometimes a dream, see a color, or see a person from your past and here it all comes flooding into your mind like an instant replay of the event.
I was remembering several things recently after talking with Brenda. One morning it was very cold. I had spent the night at Brenda's. Her Brother Paul was probably about five then. We were gathered around the little heater in the front room. Brenda and I were getting ready for school and Paul was there. We were sitting in front of the fire getting our shoes and socks on and Brenda's cat was there rubbing against us being a nuisance. Paul reached over out of the blue and got hold of the cats tail and proceeded to stick it in the stove. Oh My Heavens what a catastrophe that was!!! That poor cats tail of course caught fire. It screeched and started jumping up. On the way up it's claws were out and we all got some minor scratches. We were lucky we didn't get major damage to our bodies but by The Will Of God we were protected . What happened then was not so lucky though. That poor cat jumped straight up and caught hold of the wall about five feet off the floor. It was running around up there and got the wall paper on fire. Of course we were screaming bloody murder at Paul for doing such a mean thing to that cat. Well heck fire he was five. A five year old doesn't really understand the scope of what was happening and he was watching the cat who was trying to walk on the ceiling by that time. Auntie came out of the kitchen to see what the heck was going on. She ran back and got a bucket of water and tried to throw it up where the paper was on fire. That didn't make much headway all that did was wet us all down so she yelled for one of us to get a broom which one of us did. First she beat out the small area of the wall paper. The cats tail was no longer burning just smoldering and stinking to high heaven. Auntie put the broom up and stuck in at the cats hind legs hoping to get it on the broom. The cat turned around and attacked the broom and she hollered, “Get in the kitchen all of you”, which we quickly did. She brought the broom down slowly and was going to try and check him out but he was having none of that. The cat took off to the kitchen and Auntie hollered “OPEN THE BACK DOOR FAST”. We opened the door. The cat skidded by us and out the door.
Paul got a tanning and Brenda and I got a holiday from school because we missed the bus. No one to take us so that was that.
Later that morning the cat came back to the house and Auntie put something on it's poor tail. Oh My Gosh! Is there any end to what a young mischievous kid can get their selves in to? NOPE! Guess not.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
GRAVITY
5-15-09...GRAVITY
I guess gravity is a great thing in most instances but when it comes to my body I don't much like it.
It starts slowly. So slow that you never even see it. It creeps up on you like a bad seed. It grows until it completely covers your whole body and wraps around like a clinging vine. If you know about vines some of them are beautiful but you have to keep them controlled and tamed down lest they take over like a brier patch.
Well I sure didn't keep my vine controlled on my body. All at once I looked in the mirror one day and there I was in all my glory completely consumed in a vine of gravity. The first time I recognized this gravity vine I was overwhelmed so badly that I tried to ignore it. Ignoring was not an option I found out. Once you know something is there and realize there is not a cotton-pickin' thing you can do about it it just lurks close to you and shows it's ugly side constantly. Like a blood sucking leech it takes hold and pulls everywhere until the dropping and sagging starts.
Your chin drops down to your neck. The skin under your arms drop down and flop around like jello. A ladies breast drops down around her naval. Her stomach drops down on her thighs. Knees drop down to the shin. Now your face drags around like silly putty and flops around. Belly laughter is no longer possible it is now more like whole body shaking as you laugh. No matter how big or small, fat or thin you are it will be the same. Your gravity has quit working. Everything is just giving away and dropping and there aint' a thing you can do about it unless you go under the knife and come out looking like a bug eyed praying mantis. No thank you, buggy eyed people scare the heck outta' me. I keep my nose in the air now so the 4 chins don't show. Heck even my eyelids are drooping down and I was told I needed to get something done before they drop down over my eyes. Really true. Well heck I don't want anything cut on that hurts so as long as I can see no thanks. No way no how. I'll just learn to like what I see in the mirror and if someone don't like it they have the option to look the other way. Their snooty eyes are probably bugged anyway and I don't wanna' look at them either. Nope!!!!!
I guess gravity is a great thing in most instances but when it comes to my body I don't much like it.
It starts slowly. So slow that you never even see it. It creeps up on you like a bad seed. It grows until it completely covers your whole body and wraps around like a clinging vine. If you know about vines some of them are beautiful but you have to keep them controlled and tamed down lest they take over like a brier patch.
Well I sure didn't keep my vine controlled on my body. All at once I looked in the mirror one day and there I was in all my glory completely consumed in a vine of gravity. The first time I recognized this gravity vine I was overwhelmed so badly that I tried to ignore it. Ignoring was not an option I found out. Once you know something is there and realize there is not a cotton-pickin' thing you can do about it it just lurks close to you and shows it's ugly side constantly. Like a blood sucking leech it takes hold and pulls everywhere until the dropping and sagging starts.
Your chin drops down to your neck. The skin under your arms drop down and flop around like jello. A ladies breast drops down around her naval. Her stomach drops down on her thighs. Knees drop down to the shin. Now your face drags around like silly putty and flops around. Belly laughter is no longer possible it is now more like whole body shaking as you laugh. No matter how big or small, fat or thin you are it will be the same. Your gravity has quit working. Everything is just giving away and dropping and there aint' a thing you can do about it unless you go under the knife and come out looking like a bug eyed praying mantis. No thank you, buggy eyed people scare the heck outta' me. I keep my nose in the air now so the 4 chins don't show. Heck even my eyelids are drooping down and I was told I needed to get something done before they drop down over my eyes. Really true. Well heck I don't want anything cut on that hurts so as long as I can see no thanks. No way no how. I'll just learn to like what I see in the mirror and if someone don't like it they have the option to look the other way. Their snooty eyes are probably bugged anyway and I don't wanna' look at them either. Nope!!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A SAD DAY
5-11-09...A SAD DAY
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Yesterday was Mothers Day. A day to honor Mothers and show them love and gratitude. A day of flowers, gifts, candy and Dinners.
I had the sweetest Mother on Earth and I had the most wonderful Son on earth. My love was overflowing and ever fulfilling for me.
When I lost My Son at 16 in a car crash I was devastated. He was my only child. I would never see him grow in to the fine Man I knew he would be. I would never see him married with my Grandkids running around me the way I had envisioned. Calling me Grandma and allowing me to recapture the growing up of their daddy, My Son.
During my devastation I still had My Mama. I still honored and loved her. I still had a reason to celebrate Mothers Day.
When my sweet Mama died I lost the best friend I had on this earth. Mama died in November. Six months later Mothers Day arrived again. My first Mothers Day without my Mama and also without my Son. They were both gone and I was inconsolable.
On that Mothers Day I cowered in my house, in my room, in my bed, and didn't speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone around me. Didn't want to hear everyone talking about what their kids did for them or what they did for their Mothers. I couldn't handle it yet and was sure I never would be able to handle it. I didn't want to deal with that day ever again so I decided I just didn't have to. People close to me didn't understand and I thought they were being mean when They would say Happy Mothers Day. How could they? Didn't they know how much that day hurt me? Well of course they didn't understand. How could I expect them to? But I did expect them to understand. I DID!
It went on that way for three years. I just wouldn't go out of the house on Mothers Day. I couldn't! One Mothers Day I answered the phone and I related my feelings to the person on the other end of the line. This Person said “You are being selfish. It has been three years, you have to let it go”. Oh My Goodness, How that hurt. I lashed out and said, “ you have never been in my shoes. You have Your Mother today. You have your kids around you today. You are Blessed. Don't tell me I should just let it go until you know what you are talking about”. That person was cruel to me and hurt me bad but how could they know that. Like I said, until you walk in someones shoes and live their life you have no right to judge them. I couldn't judge her either. She really don't understand and I Pray she never does.
This is my second Mothers Day on The Hill. I have come a long way but I still don't do well on Mothers Day. To everyone who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Thank You I do appreciate it and I know Your Hearts were in it. I love you for it.
I went to Church yesterday. I went last year also. When the Pastor asked for all Mothers to stand and be honored I stood proudly along with the others and received appreciation and applause. I was Honoring My Son and My Mama. They are in Heaven and I will no longer cower in a corner like they never existed. I know that was wrong even though I still desire to do the same thing and hide, I will not do it.
Yesterday was hard on me. It always will be. If I didn't know I will see them again I couldn't stand the pain. But I do know that. My Mama and My Son smiled down on me yesterday and I know they were Proud of me. I know I'll see them soon.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
MOVING WITH DADDY
5-9-09...MOVING WITH DADDY
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
Daddy worked in a coal mine and had to go over to the next state to work. Now and then we would all pack up and move with him so we could be together. It was not easy on any of us. Norman was too small to mind much but I always hated the school. I never could make friends there. I don't know if they just didn't like me or if it was just that I was different but I always felt lonely. I just missed everything about being away from my home. I did love being with my Daddy though so I don't remember ever complaining.
When we moved we just left our house in Arkansas unlocked. I saw something that Mama called a skeleton key once but it was never used. In fact I remember the lock was not even usable. No need to worry though no one would bother a thing. That is hard to believe isn't it? Especially for some of you that are younger. I don't know how it was in bigger places but where I lived no one locked a door, Ever!
In Oklahoma we always lived in an apartment on the second floor. Daddies room he shared with other miners was on the third floor. No refer, but we had running water. Also we had a bathroom with a real big bathtub in it. It was at the end of the courier and four apartments used it. Even so we thought that was neat. My Brother was four when he went in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the door for him. Norman locked the door which he had been told never to do because it was very hard to unlock. He locked it and of course couldn't get it open. Oh My Gosh! When he wanted out of course he was locked in and scared. He started screaming. I was trying to open the door and of course couldn't.. I ran back just a few steps to our apartment hollering at Mama. Mama and two other women came out of their apartments. Everyone tried to get Norman to quieten down and unlatch the door. But of course that didn't happen.
No elevators in that building or any other building at that time. One of the women ran down two flights of stairs to get the janitor.
Now let me tell you about that janitor. He was old and slow. He licked his tongue out and in constantly and some mean people called him snake because of that habit. He didn't mind though and would even answer to the name. He was all bent over and Daddy always said a strong wind would blow him down. That was probably not far from the fact either.
It seemed like hours before he got there. Probably wasn't that long but it was a long time. Of course he didn't bring any tools and I was sent back down to ask the lady manager for his little tool belt. I lugged it back up there as fast as I could, which I suspect was faster that any of the ladies or that old man.
He took the door down to get Norman out. Poor little boy had cried till he was vomiting on the floor. When I saw my little Brother crying I started crying. Mama was crying and one of the other ladies was crying. Mama said much later that she saw the poor old man wiping tears too.
Norman finally settled a little bit and stopped crying. Mama rocked him and sang to him while I stayed nearby. I remember being really worried about my little Brother. After he went to sleep he snuffed in his sleep. Mama held him all evening while he slept. I laid down on the floor in front of her and went to sleep too.
After all these years I still get teary eyed thinking about this. I'm sure Mama did many times too. I doubt that Norman even remembers it.
We stayed with Daddy until Summer and always went home for the Summer so Daddy could raise his garden. My Parents had a rough time back then but they loved us enough that we didn't ever know how hard it was. Thank you Mama and Daddy!!!!!
ABOUT MY BLOGS
5-5-09...ABOUT MY BLOGS
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
Hello friends, To any of you who have read and enjoyed reading my blogs I wanted to tell you that I have compiled them in to three books. The last one has just been released and is for sale. I put a lot in to these books and I did it for friends and family. It all started right here on The Hill. Thank you all for making this possible for me. Clydene
BITS OF MY LIFE: Southern Charm and attitude
LITTLE LOST BIRD
5-4-09...LITTLE LOST BIRD
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
I have a finch feeder hanging on the eave of my house. It is hanging close to the window right in front of my chair. I love to watch the birds. Not only finches but all wild birds come to feed. I have a pair of Cardinals that eat side by side along with the little finches. The finches are gray and drab in the winter but in the spring they are colorful. Blue, red, yellow. I have squirrel feeders hanging in trees around my house and the squirrels never bother the bird feeders. I also have hummingbird feeders.
As I was watching the birds four mornings ago it was pouring down rain. The feeder is mostly in the dry. A little bird lit on the perch that I had never seen before. He was a pitiful sight. Looked like he was almost drowned. He sat there trembling and holding his wings out to dry. He really looked so bad I was afraid he would fall off the perch. I thought to myself that another bird would come and run the poor little thing off. I didn't know what to do for the little thing. He sat there until he began to dry and started fluffing his feathers. That ugly wet bird turned into a beautiful sight. His belly was snow white, his neck was red, his back was a bluish black with white feathers. I have never seen a bird like it as it is not a common one here.
There is no telling where that bird came from. No telling how many miles he had flown in that pouring rain. I felt so sorry for him. He ate his fill then he was gone. Amazingly the other birds let him eat. They wouldn't eat with him. They would fly up there but never perch. I'm sure they didn't recognize the bird either.
I got my bird book and tried to find a picture of him but never found one. I got on the INTERNET but no luck there either. Oh well I thought, I hope he is all right and gets where he is going.
The next morning there he was again. He still looked puny but he ate his fill and was gone again. He came back again three mornings in a row. Yesterday morning he looked good and chipper. He ate and as he sat on the perch he looked me right in the eye. I didn't move because I didn't want to scare him. It lasted only a few seconds and he was again gone. He didn't come this morning and I miss him. I think he stayed here long enough to recuperate so he could go on to his destination. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of him while he sat there daily eating. I wish I had because I had gotten attached to that little bird. It isn't raining today so I guess he took advantage of it to travel on. When he looked me in the eye I choose to think he was saying Thank You Kind Lady. Well You are welcome you beautiful creature. Come back anytime!!
DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
5-2-09...DREAMS ARE WHAT THEY ARE
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
Did you ever get up with a dread that you didn't understand? Like you just know something bad is going to happen. Did you ever wake from a dream that you can't remember yet you feel frightened? That is the way I felt this morning when my eyes opened in the early morning. Still dark outside, still mysterious like something is lurking around. I raised up on my elbows to peer into the dimness of the room. Of course there was nothing there but I still wanted to pull the covers over my head and bury back down in the warmth and safety of my bed.Many times as a child these feelings would come on me. All I had to do then was cry out and one of my parents would be there. No one to call out to this morning but I called out anyway. I called out to God who is also always there.I remember falling off my bed as a child and being frightened. One night as I hit the floor and my eyes opened to total darkness I sure didn't have covers to pull over my head. Nothing there but the cold hard floor. I was up in a flash and tore out running through the house. Every step I took I imagined something was nipping at my heels viciously. Now My Daddy used to say that I kicked like a mule. You know backwards. Well I was running and kicking at the same time that night and must have been quiet a sight. I've seen a mule running and kicking and it is a funny sight indeed.Dreams are something that no one has ever really understood. Now some will say they do but I don't believe them.I've had dreams that I remembered vividly when I woke too. Those are indeed scary.A week before my Papa died I dreamed very clearly that I saw Papa floating down the Arkansas river in a red shirt. I just seemed to know in my heart that my Papa was gone. Not alive with us anymore. I was so frantic that I had to see him the next day to be assured he was still with us. He was! But a week later My Papa died. No he didn't die anywhere near the river. He was in a nursing home at the time. But Papa was gone just the same. A premonition? A vision? I don't know but I believe that God was preparing me for Papas death.Then when my Son was 16 and living with his Dad I worried about him so much that it was terrifying. I knew where he was just wasn't stable and safe. One night I awakened screaming. I had seen my Sons funeral. Every detail. I lay there in semi awakeness and lived through that horrible time. I called the next morning and checked on my Son. He was OK, Then. Just a few weeks later I got that dreaded call in the night. My son had been in a wreck and was in the hospital. I got up at midnight and went 300 miles to the hospital. My Son died three days later. He never regained conciousness. I never got to say good by. Again I believe God had prepared me for the most horrible event in my life.I have had many dreams like this. I don't feel they are supernatural or mysterious. dark or foreboding. They are simply Gos preparing us in advance for something that we may not be able to handle if it were an unexpected shock. That is all it can be. Other dreams that we don't remember or ones that are so outeageous to be believed are just not worth exploring now are they
HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
5-2-09...HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
Getting out of bed has become more of a problem to me now that I'm older. I used to hit the floor running. Now just getting my eyes open is a chore. I awake and lay there with my eyes still closed for a while. My aches start right then. I have to flex my arm, leg, and yes even my brain muscles all the time knowing the actual rising up and moving is going to hurt. As I do this I force my eyes to open slowly peering into the room and over to the window. If it is sunshiny I think Oh Heck, It's going to be hot today. If it is cloudy or raining I think, Well heck I can't go out today so might as well lay back down for a spell. f it is cold I think Oh my this bed sure feels warm and comfy. It goes on and on that way for a while. Finally I decide I'd better just get up and be done with it.I Pray and Thank God that He has once again awakened me, I'm alive and I ask Him to guide my steps today and be by my side.Now I finally sit up and slowly swing my feet over the side of the bed. Now comes another struggle because I know I must put my feet on the floor and actually stand. Ohhh, Grunt, Groan, Ouch, My this hurts!Next thing is to get my glasses on my eyes so I can see where I'm going, get my robe on and stumble out to the kitchen. There I will find my coffee already brewed and ready unless I forgot to turn on the timer the night before. I pour my coffee and head to the bathroom. On the way I might run in to a door or two or step on a doggie toy that protests loudly with a squeak. It is then that I realize I have sometime during my trek indeed again closed my eyes to protest having to wake in the first place.I finally get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face to assist the waking up. Then I dry my glasses after I discover I forgot to take them off before splashing the water on my face. I sit down on the toilet lid because I forgot to raise it.Once more I arise put my teeth in my mouth, run my hands through my hair and go back to the bedroom to retrieve my house slippers that I forgot to put on before. I stand looking lovingly down at the bed and contemplate crawling back in for a short nap. When the wisdom of not doing that finally hits my blurry brain I go on and get a new day started finally. In my younger days I would have already been dressed and about my business by now. GOOD GRIEF!!! Clydene
Saturday, April 18, 2009
THE I DON'T CARES
4-18-09...THE I DON'T CARES
Did you ever have the feeling, I DON'T CARE? It is a horrible feeling and I hate it when I have it. I think it is really self pity rearing it's ugly head up in my life. I really hate it with a purple passion.
I've been thinking Why ME? Well heck fire Why not Me? I don't have the corner on happiness, peace, and contentment, no one does. So I believe when I say why me I'm wishing it was someone else with my problems, and I'm ticked off because I can't get rid of them and dump them on the people who hurt me. That seems like the fair thing to do doesn't it? Good Grief, here I was minding my own business and I get hit from all sides like a tornado tossing me about. Is that fair? No, but would it be fair if I wished it on someone else? No, that would be a sin. I've been taught right from wrong but everyone don't have that advantage. I've always survived but is there supposed to come a day when I don't have to fight so hard to survive anymore? Well the answer to that is simple, Sure, the time will come when I get to Heaven. But right now I'm here on this wicked earth and the forces get so strong sometimes I want to give up and say No More, Thats it, I don't care any more. Well that is what The Don't Cares are all about. I have them and I hate it!
At times like these I have to reach up and hold on to Gods Hand. Then I always reach back and draw more strength from my wonderful past and the Parents who raised me to be tough and strong in times of adversity.
I've seen tears in my Daddy's eyes when he couldn't give me something that I wanted badly. Sometimes I know he was devastated because he couldn't stop a heartache for me at times, but he could hold me in his strong arms and comfort me and tell me it would get better. I've seen Mama struggle to find enough for us to eat sometimes, and I remember how she could make a bowl of mashed potatoes seem like a feast to me. Even a bowl of oatmeal became special when mama added vanilla flavoring to it especially for me because I didn't want oatmeal. My Parents took me to Church and Sunday School where I learned from the ways of God. That is a basic for young minds. But The Church, or the school also need supporting Parents at home to really guide a child. I had the best. So I didn't learn self pity and the don't cares. Nope I choose to feel that way every time it comes on me.
This morning I can see my Parents sweet faces as the strived and worked to make me what I am now. They would not be ashamed or disappointed in me today. They would hold me close and tell me it will get better. God tells me that to. I am a little ashamed of myself today. I am overwhelmed by adversity, but It Will Get Better, This Too Will Pass, I'm tougher that that and I'd better just take hold of myself and stop this. Thank You Mama and Daddy for all you have done for me. I feel your presence still saying, "Get up, dust your britches off, and get going. YEP!!!
Did you ever have the feeling, I DON'T CARE? It is a horrible feeling and I hate it when I have it. I think it is really self pity rearing it's ugly head up in my life. I really hate it with a purple passion.
I've been thinking Why ME? Well heck fire Why not Me? I don't have the corner on happiness, peace, and contentment, no one does. So I believe when I say why me I'm wishing it was someone else with my problems, and I'm ticked off because I can't get rid of them and dump them on the people who hurt me. That seems like the fair thing to do doesn't it? Good Grief, here I was minding my own business and I get hit from all sides like a tornado tossing me about. Is that fair? No, but would it be fair if I wished it on someone else? No, that would be a sin. I've been taught right from wrong but everyone don't have that advantage. I've always survived but is there supposed to come a day when I don't have to fight so hard to survive anymore? Well the answer to that is simple, Sure, the time will come when I get to Heaven. But right now I'm here on this wicked earth and the forces get so strong sometimes I want to give up and say No More, Thats it, I don't care any more. Well that is what The Don't Cares are all about. I have them and I hate it!
At times like these I have to reach up and hold on to Gods Hand. Then I always reach back and draw more strength from my wonderful past and the Parents who raised me to be tough and strong in times of adversity.
I've seen tears in my Daddy's eyes when he couldn't give me something that I wanted badly. Sometimes I know he was devastated because he couldn't stop a heartache for me at times, but he could hold me in his strong arms and comfort me and tell me it would get better. I've seen Mama struggle to find enough for us to eat sometimes, and I remember how she could make a bowl of mashed potatoes seem like a feast to me. Even a bowl of oatmeal became special when mama added vanilla flavoring to it especially for me because I didn't want oatmeal. My Parents took me to Church and Sunday School where I learned from the ways of God. That is a basic for young minds. But The Church, or the school also need supporting Parents at home to really guide a child. I had the best. So I didn't learn self pity and the don't cares. Nope I choose to feel that way every time it comes on me.
This morning I can see my Parents sweet faces as the strived and worked to make me what I am now. They would not be ashamed or disappointed in me today. They would hold me close and tell me it will get better. God tells me that to. I am a little ashamed of myself today. I am overwhelmed by adversity, but It Will Get Better, This Too Will Pass, I'm tougher that that and I'd better just take hold of myself and stop this. Thank You Mama and Daddy for all you have done for me. I feel your presence still saying, "Get up, dust your britches off, and get going. YEP!!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
WASH DAY
4-16-09...WASH DAY
Mama washed clothes on the back porch with an old wringer washing machine .
The water was drawn from a well and heated on the stove in the kitchen. The washer had to be full of hot water. There were two wash tubs for rinsing. If you are familiar with the way the washers worked you know that it would agitate until you were ready to stop it.
The clothes were then picked up from the hot soapy water and fed through the wringer coming out into the first rinse tub which had warm water. Each piece was sloshed around in the water. The ringer was then rotated around between the two tubs and this was done the second time. The second tub has Mrs. Stewarts bluing in it to help whiten the clothes. The clothes were run through the wringer for the third time and out into a container which was carried out to the clothes line to hang the clothes to dry. It was quiet a production and took most of that day.
Of course I was on the porch with Mama. This day I wasn't helping as I did in later years but was there so Mama could watch me.
Mama had long hair. As she was bending over feeding the clothes through once her hair got caught in the wringer. I can barely remember this but I heard Mama tell it many times.
The washer was plugged in to a extension cord laying over in the corner. Our lights hung from the ceiling and of course no plug ins on the walls. Hence the extension cords.
The ringer of course kept going with Mamas hair caught in it. She couldn't get to the cord to unplug the washer so she was trying to get me to do it for her. Well Heck fire I had been told to never touch those things and here was Mama telling me to do it. I was a bit confused of course. When Mama kept standing there saying “Ouch, Oh God help me, Clydene get the plug and pull it, Ouch”. Well I got tickled. Heck fire, I thought it was a game or something and I was having a ball not knowing Mama was in serious trouble.
I don't know how long it went on but every time Mama would shriek I would just giggle harder. I heard Daddy say later it couldn't have been long or Mamas hair would have been pulled out.
Mama finally managed to get her foot in the cord and jerk it loose. Then she had to release the wringer which also looked funny to me with Mama standing there with her head against the wringer struggling to release it.
When she did get loose I saw tears in her eyes and some blood which squelched my giggle fit in a hurry. Now I was scared and I started crying. Mama held me close with us both crying and told me she was OK.
Bless My sweet Mamas heart. She had a terrible headache and that dad blasted wringer did get a hunk of her hair.
Things were much harder back then and I know my Mama and Daddy both worked very hard. I appreciate it more and more every day. I know it was never easy for them now but I didn't know that then and they didn't want my Brother and I to know. We were loved and protected by those two wonderful Parents that God placed us with. We came first always. They earned all the respect we could give them and more. I miss those sweet people more each day I live!!!!
Mama washed clothes on the back porch with an old wringer washing machine .
The water was drawn from a well and heated on the stove in the kitchen. The washer had to be full of hot water. There were two wash tubs for rinsing. If you are familiar with the way the washers worked you know that it would agitate until you were ready to stop it.
The clothes were then picked up from the hot soapy water and fed through the wringer coming out into the first rinse tub which had warm water. Each piece was sloshed around in the water. The ringer was then rotated around between the two tubs and this was done the second time. The second tub has Mrs. Stewarts bluing in it to help whiten the clothes. The clothes were run through the wringer for the third time and out into a container which was carried out to the clothes line to hang the clothes to dry. It was quiet a production and took most of that day.
Of course I was on the porch with Mama. This day I wasn't helping as I did in later years but was there so Mama could watch me.
Mama had long hair. As she was bending over feeding the clothes through once her hair got caught in the wringer. I can barely remember this but I heard Mama tell it many times.
The washer was plugged in to a extension cord laying over in the corner. Our lights hung from the ceiling and of course no plug ins on the walls. Hence the extension cords.
The ringer of course kept going with Mamas hair caught in it. She couldn't get to the cord to unplug the washer so she was trying to get me to do it for her. Well Heck fire I had been told to never touch those things and here was Mama telling me to do it. I was a bit confused of course. When Mama kept standing there saying “Ouch, Oh God help me, Clydene get the plug and pull it, Ouch”. Well I got tickled. Heck fire, I thought it was a game or something and I was having a ball not knowing Mama was in serious trouble.
I don't know how long it went on but every time Mama would shriek I would just giggle harder. I heard Daddy say later it couldn't have been long or Mamas hair would have been pulled out.
Mama finally managed to get her foot in the cord and jerk it loose. Then she had to release the wringer which also looked funny to me with Mama standing there with her head against the wringer struggling to release it.
When she did get loose I saw tears in her eyes and some blood which squelched my giggle fit in a hurry. Now I was scared and I started crying. Mama held me close with us both crying and told me she was OK.
Bless My sweet Mamas heart. She had a terrible headache and that dad blasted wringer did get a hunk of her hair.
Things were much harder back then and I know my Mama and Daddy both worked very hard. I appreciate it more and more every day. I know it was never easy for them now but I didn't know that then and they didn't want my Brother and I to know. We were loved and protected by those two wonderful Parents that God placed us with. We came first always. They earned all the respect we could give them and more. I miss those sweet people more each day I live!!!!
I CALLED HER STINKER
4-15-09...I CALLED HER STINKER
There is an sorta' odd or different couple who live down the road who have a bunch of dogs. They don't really take care of them and they roam all over. There was this small dog (a female) not very old who came up with 4 little puppies. Well the guy was attempting to get rid of the puppies by killing them. He told my husband at the mailbox one day that there was one puppy left that he hadn't been able to find. A day or two later I found the little thing, puny and weak in my barn. I have a Poodle who is very possessive of me and knew I didn't need or want another dog. So )i'm ashamed to admit this) I just walked out and tried to forget the puppy. Then the next morning I started out my back door and there she was under the step trembling and whining. My heart just melted and I couldn't stand it. I fed and watered the little thing, put flea and tick drops on her and brought her in to introduce to Moses (my poodle) Moses snarled up and tried to bite her so I put her back out by the step and made her a soft bed. Fot three mornings she was still there waiting for me with her whole body wagging. I took this pic. of her on my foot one morning.
She won my heart. No one is going to kill my LITTLE STINKER. I brough her in for several days and let Moses get used to her. Or tried to get him used to her. He wasn't making Friends very fast. This morning I sat on my deck with my coffee and brought Stinker with me. Moses came too and in about an hour Moses still hated her. My husband didn't want her either but I just couldn't bear to see her die. After lunch one day I again sat on the deck with iced tea, and again brought Stinker and Moses with me. My hubby came out. I got him a glass of iced tea and he sat there trying to ignore Stinker. He wouldn't make friends with her either. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I tried one day to give her to one of my neighbors. No she didn't want the poor little thing either but she called me the next day and gave me a number for someone that was looking for a dog like Stinker. I called the number and the lady came right away and picked her up. I had mixed feelings as I watched them drive away with Stinker. I knew I couldn't keep her but I had gotten attached to her. But I believe I found her a good home and I'm so happy about that. As to how she got all the way up here and in my barn: All I can figure out is Her Mom brought her up here and gave her to us so she would be safe from the "KILLER" I believe that is the right answer. DON'T YOU??? I know the poor little thing didn't come up here on her own and leave her Mom. The Mom never came to our house after that so I'm sure she left her little baby here for me to rescue. Thats how Moms are. They protect their young!! Yep
There is an sorta' odd or different couple who live down the road who have a bunch of dogs. They don't really take care of them and they roam all over. There was this small dog (a female) not very old who came up with 4 little puppies. Well the guy was attempting to get rid of the puppies by killing them. He told my husband at the mailbox one day that there was one puppy left that he hadn't been able to find. A day or two later I found the little thing, puny and weak in my barn. I have a Poodle who is very possessive of me and knew I didn't need or want another dog. So )i'm ashamed to admit this) I just walked out and tried to forget the puppy. Then the next morning I started out my back door and there she was under the step trembling and whining. My heart just melted and I couldn't stand it. I fed and watered the little thing, put flea and tick drops on her and brought her in to introduce to Moses (my poodle) Moses snarled up and tried to bite her so I put her back out by the step and made her a soft bed. Fot three mornings she was still there waiting for me with her whole body wagging. I took this pic. of her on my foot one morning.
She won my heart. No one is going to kill my LITTLE STINKER. I brough her in for several days and let Moses get used to her. Or tried to get him used to her. He wasn't making Friends very fast. This morning I sat on my deck with my coffee and brought Stinker with me. Moses came too and in about an hour Moses still hated her. My husband didn't want her either but I just couldn't bear to see her die. After lunch one day I again sat on the deck with iced tea, and again brought Stinker and Moses with me. My hubby came out. I got him a glass of iced tea and he sat there trying to ignore Stinker. He wouldn't make friends with her either. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I tried one day to give her to one of my neighbors. No she didn't want the poor little thing either but she called me the next day and gave me a number for someone that was looking for a dog like Stinker. I called the number and the lady came right away and picked her up. I had mixed feelings as I watched them drive away with Stinker. I knew I couldn't keep her but I had gotten attached to her. But I believe I found her a good home and I'm so happy about that. As to how she got all the way up here and in my barn: All I can figure out is Her Mom brought her up here and gave her to us so she would be safe from the "KILLER" I believe that is the right answer. DON'T YOU??? I know the poor little thing didn't come up here on her own and leave her Mom. The Mom never came to our house after that so I'm sure she left her little baby here for me to rescue. Thats how Moms are. They protect their young!! Yep
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